Do I follow this up?

[Frodofeeling]

Yes, I am over thinking this.

Last weekend I was chatting with an acquaintance. He's not in a particularly good place ATM and could use some friends/a distraction. We talked about something I often do with a small group of friends and he said he'd love to be a part of it sometimes.

Anyway, I messaged him yesterday afternoon to say we're going tomorrow and he'd be welcome if he'd like to come.

He hasn't replied, which is unusual, although I've never messaged him much.

So I just assume he's not bothered or send a "joky" I assume that's a no, in case something has gone wrong with his message, it's still in drafts? <clutches at straws>

If he is coming I need to know to arrange transport. I'm not bothered one way or the other really, I thought I was doing a nice thing, but I am bit put out or a bit concerned depending how charitable I'm feeling.

If he’s not in a good place it could be that it’s too much for him to contemplate right now. Just send a ‘maybe another time, hope you are okay’ text or something. A jokey text may be misread, it’s hard to tell tone in text, especially if you aren’t in a good place.

You're not over-thinking it! He told you he is not doing well so of course you're concerned. You're trying to help and he's blowing you off. You're worried and feeling slighted and that's fair enough.

In future, I suggest you always (in any invitation you send to anyone) say something like "let me know if you can come by X time/day and so I can include you in the transportation/whatever plans if you are."

The go-to answer is so often that people who flake are too mentally ill to manage social interactions, as Maybe ThatsMeTold has said. Maybe that's true. If you feel up to dealing with someone who can't even respond when you've gone to the trouble of organizing something, then go right ahead. I would make sure not to get too involved with someone like that though. It's no fun to have to nurse people.

I lived overseas for years and when I returned a couple of years ago, I could not believe how many people had mental health issues. In any social situation designed to meet people, it's what people would talk about. At work, there were more people with serious issues than without them. I quickly felt overwhelmed with nursing and work duties to support people.

So many people have problems compared to anywhere else I've heard of/lived that it's impossible to support them all. In most cases, I think the problems are about poor social skills. That's what it is when someone won't respond to an invitation but was perfectly able to have a conversation about his issues a day or two earlier. I'd be avoiding him, to be honest, unless you feel you have room for someone who needs a lot of nursing and support.

Well I did send another very short message, but he hasn't replied. I can see he's alive because he's been online, but he hasn't opened my message. It's the last time I try to do a nice thing!