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Original poster

Colleague has a bad habit, how would you tackle this?

19 replies

wateraddict · 27/09/2023 14:48

I have an unexpected issue at work and would appreciate help from the mumsnet hive mind! I have regular video calls with my colleagues and one person has a habit that I am struggling with, picking their nose several times a call on camera!It's really gross and I can't stand to see it.

I have not mentioned anything at all so far but it's got to the stage it's turning my stomach and I would like them to stop. What can I say without hugely offending them? I really want to remain on friendly working terms but I find myself needing to turn away so I think I need to be brave and bring it up somehow. Any suggestions? Thanks in advance...

OP posts:

Bringonthesunforthewashing · 27/09/2023 14:51

Could you make a joke of it, something like, ‘stop picking your nose, you’re worse than my kids’. Or ‘are you not well adam? Just you keep touching your nose, you got a cold?’.

it will draw his attention to it if he does it subconsciously

mindutopia · 27/09/2023 14:52

God, that's awful. Are you their line manager? I think this is a job for whoever manages them, hate to say it. If that's not you (I hope it isn't, pass the buck!), then I would either raise it in confidence with their line manager or with HR, and ask them to say something. If it's giving you the heeby-jeebies, it's most certainly giving everyone else the same ick, and needs to be addressed. Especially if this person has any client/customer-facing work. They probably don't realise they do it, but it's definitely a habit to be addressed.

Findyourneutralspace · 27/09/2023 14:54

Very much depends if you’re their line manager or not. It could be that a round robin email is appropriate reminding all colleagues of expected behaviour - no nose picking, vaping, eye rolling etc

mistermagpie · 27/09/2023 14:55

God, yuck! Do they think their camera is off? If you know them well I'd make a joke of it like a PP suggested but if not I'd raise it with the manager.

We've had quite general reminders issued about behaviour on teams calls - I.e. people with kids in the background or eating or not being appropriately dressed, having weird backgrounds on etc. They are issued as general reminders about conduct but I presume they have been prompted by someone doing something unprofessional. Maybe they could do something like that?

fartfacenotfatface · 27/09/2023 15:05

I'd make light of it: "Oi John / Mary, you've still got your camera switched on and I don't want to see you picking your nose thank you very much!"

cannaecookrisotto · 27/09/2023 15:06

Ask them if they've picked a winner yet. Might make them self-conscious enough to twig once their finger starts twitching.

NemoIsFound · 27/09/2023 15:10

Ask them if they have found any gold nuggets yet? 😀😁

Original poster

wateraddict · 27/09/2023 15:24

These are hilarious! They are a peer, we don't share the same line manager so something lighthearted may be the way to go. If it fails to work any future line manager chats would give me away though. Hmmmm. Maybe I have a box of tissues my end and offer a virtual one?

OP posts:

burgundytoday · 27/09/2023 15:26

Just put a small minimised computer window or a physical post it on their face to block it for yourself

Original poster

wateraddict · 27/09/2023 15:26

Oh to answer another question, they know they are on camera, as you have to turn it on intentionally. It's a strange thing to be happy to do in front of others isn't it?

OP posts:

Noselikeyorkshirepud · 27/09/2023 15:27

Ugh, are you sure they know camera is on?

Snoken · 27/09/2023 15:28

Is their finger actually inside the nostril, rummaging around? That’s horrible. I often have a ticklish nose and sort rub the tip of my nose. It might look like I’m picking my nose when on camera. I hope not.

burgundytoday · 27/09/2023 15:28

wateraddict · 27/09/2023 15:26

Oh to answer another question, they know they are on camera, as you have to turn it on intentionally. It's a strange thing to be happy to do in front of others isn't it?

Maybe they have self view turned off or something. I still wouldn't say anything but that's me. Would just block off their face on my screen.

SuperfluousToRequirements · 27/09/2023 15:31

wateraddict · 27/09/2023 15:26

Oh to answer another question, they know they are on camera, as you have to turn it on intentionally. It's a strange thing to be happy to do in front of others isn't it?

I had a childhood friend who’s mum did it. You could be stood in the kitchen talking to her and she would have her finger up her nose. Even at my young age I knew it was disgusting. I just think she had no clue she was doing it because it was just such a normal thing for her to do, like someone who twists their hair or clears their throat subconsciously. Vile.

Sunshinenrain · 27/09/2023 15:46

Bringonthesunforthewashing · 27/09/2023 14:51

Could you make a joke of it, something like, ‘stop picking your nose, you’re worse than my kids’. Or ‘are you not well adam? Just you keep touching your nose, you got a cold?’.

it will draw his attention to it if he does it subconsciously

I agree.

I would probably make a joke out of it like “are you digging for gold?”

You can try and say it privately to stop embarrassment.

Do they have their nose pierced because I know people who look like they’re picking their nose but they’re fiddling with their nose stud.

I urge if I see someone picking their nose 🤢 so I feel your pain. I just can’t believe he does it on camera!

Sunshinenrain · 27/09/2023 15:48

like someone who twists their hair or clears their throat subconsciously.

Yes I agree.
I think for a lot of people it’s a habit when they’re concentrating or daydreaming.

I had a boy in my class who would have his finger up his nose every 5 mins.
I would tell him and he’d apologise and stop and then he’d automatically start doing it again.

Treecreature · 27/09/2023 15:49

Ask if they are digging for their brains.

ReeseWitherfork · 27/09/2023 15:54

Are you using teams? I’d just turn their incoming camera off.

Original poster

wateraddict · 27/09/2023 15:59

I love how some people assume this is a man! No nose ring and finger in, having a poke around. Bleugh!

I will look into switching the camera off, but if that works like muting someone on teams, they can see if they have been muted. Not who by tho mind...

OP posts:

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