Panicking about something I’ve done - therapy

[ohhelpandbother]

Talk me down, please.

Had an appt this afternoon and told CPN I was having a lot of flashbacks and nightmares but didn’t verbalise to her what they were about.

Got home and I’ve written her a letter explaining what they were; detailing abuse in childhood. I wasn’t sure whether to email it or not, rang OOH team and they said to send it to her email and they’d let her know.

I’ve sent it. Now wishing I hadn’t in some ways. Feel guilty and scared and that I’ve said too much. It’s stuff I’ve never talked about out loud. I don’t know how she’ll react. She’s always lovely but I don’t know what she will say about what I’ve told her. I sent her six bloody pages (once you start writing…). I wish I hadn’t done it and had just kept it in.

It's your therapist. They train for years and are paid good money to to help you deal with exactly this problem. You don't have to feel guilty. Not only will the letter give them understanding, it will have really helped your own MH writing it all out

You did exactly the right thing. My therapist is always telling me that I need to write things down in between sessions and share them. It will help her do her job better and get you the support you need. I'm so sorry for the trauma you've experienced too.

Well done, you! What a very brave thing to do. I can imagine your therapist will feel very happy that you felt you could open up to her. Remember, this is her job, a job she chose to do. She wants to guide and support you, by giving her all the information and facts she’ll be able to better assist you on your journey. Good luck with therapy I hope it all works out for for you - it sounds like you’ve made an amazing start 😊

Thank you, hopefully she understands. She always comes across as the sort of person who would. It’s stuff I’ve never talked to another person about properly. I feel guilty for putting it all on her and also for saying all this stuff about my parents, neither of whom are in a position to defend themselves. I keep worrying I’ve remembered it all wrong but I don’t think I have.