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If you've ever contacted social services about children you were worried about, do you feel that helped or changed anything?

27 replies

BingBunnyBlues · 26/09/2023 09:09

Obviously we can't always know what happens 'behind the scenes' of a child protection referral, but if you've been in the situation where you contacted social services or the NSPCC because you were worried about children, do you think it helped those kids? Did anything change?

I'm feeling quite demoralised because over the course of years I have made multiple calls/emails about a pair of sisters in my wider family who have been subjected to emotional abuse, and nothing has changed. They're still living with their insane, tyrannical father and their mum who doesn't protect them from being screamed at constantly and called cunts and fucking little bitches and evil and losers by him.

I've spoken to SS, NSPCC, their primary and secondary schools. So far as I can tell, nobody has intervened to help. I've spent years trying to empower the mum to leave with the kids but she always goes back because she'd rather live in a 'nice' house than 'slum it' as a single parent.

Is this just the state of overstretched child protection now? That it's ok to grow up being called a stupid cunt by your dad everyday and to be told that when he kills himself it will be your fault (children hearing this since they learnt to talk) because there aren't the resources to count that deplorable, sustained abuse as actionable? That it's ok to go completely unprotected by your other parent so long as no physical violence is occuring?

It makes me so sad.

OP posts:
Mayhemmumma · 26/09/2023 19:05

In my experience as a social worker anonymous referrals hold little weight, parents deny and say it's neighbours who don't like them.

They can however build a better picture in a context where there are already concerns. So it's always worth (and a persons duty IMO) to report concerns about children.

When reports are not anonymous I find parents are more likely to accept concerns and look to move forward without the defensiveness that comes from anonymous reports where it's hard to get past 'who said that'.

Grumpyold · 26/09/2023 19:25

The sad fact is that if mum won't leave, the only option is to remove the DC and that's the nuclear option. Reality is, they're highly unlikely to be better off in care 😪

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