Pretty much as the title says. To give some context. Had a really horrific experience with an ex and probably still suffering from post-traumatic stress if I'm being honest.I posted a thread on here over a year ago titled 'Did he hack my phone?'. (Sorry, using a different phone, so apologies can't post link, but easy to find doing a Google search).
I was in Asia at the time and when I returned to the UK a couple of months later, I had to start my life again. There were still no many unanswered questions though. When I got home, I opened up an old Skype, and it started to randomly change information to dox me. It sent my ex a load of stuff and he told me that his email was blocked full of horrible stuff. Bearing in mind, this stuff has been going on for almost 3 years and was STILL happening even though I had smashed up my old phone which I always thought that was the reason for it all.
Anyway, since I've been back in the UK, I still can't put everything out of my mind. I can't go to sleep without the light off because I'm genuinely scared someone is out to get me. Every little noise, I flinch.I know it's so stupid because I know it was very likely him who hacked me, stalked me, manipulated me but he was so so convincing when I finally accused him of everything. He's even gone to the police over it and got a crime number. It's almost like I need closure, but never going to get it. It keeps me up at night. My daughter's life is ruined, but of course that's all my fault too according to him. The final message I received from him he had the audacity to call me a narcissist (he's the biggest narc going!) and then placed all the blame onto me.
I thought about writing a letter to his ex or contacting her. I just really thought gaining some kind of closure would give me peace, regardless of the truth. It's just the not knowing. He has said she used to do xyz to him and I just want to hear her side. Again, in my mind gaining the truth without any room for questioning would give me peace.
Anyway, tonight I finally find her on Facebook. Her profile picture is of them together in bed (keeping it classy!). The date is March 2021, just after we had got out of lockdown. He definitely cheated and it's from that date, not recently. There are some comments from people dated 2 years ago to.
Don't know what I'm looking for here. Just felt really low. He used to bang on so much about being faithful, he could never do it etc. It's just been all lies...lies and more lies.
A part of me wants to message and ask a ton of stuff. To know the truth and move on. I'm so fucking angry but at the same time, I'm happy because I know deep down I've had a lucky escape.
WWYD in my situation? I still haven't gone to the police about anything...I'm thinking I should but nothing they would do anyway.
Thanks for listening x