7 week old cries all the time

[Levi18]

My baby is 7 weeks old and cries 90% of the time, the only time he doesn’t is when he’s on me either feeding him or rocking and patting his back. I know babies cry and they want to be on you, but it’s constant, I feel like I’m losing my mind.

He won’t settle in the pram, the car, on
the bus, not in the swing or bouncer and never in the Moses basket. I go for 30 minute walks where he’s either cried the whole way or cried part way then just laid there sniffling once in a while. I see all these other mums and their babies all
settled or asleep in the pram whilst mines screaming, he cries at every single nappy change. He settles in the carrier so I do pretty much all my day to day jobs with him in the carrier, I take it out with me as I’ve had to carry him a few times, last week I did a shop round Tesco he was in the pram crying the whole time including the walk to the bus station, the bus journey and walk home (30 mins bus & walk) I had just fed him in the cafe, changed him etc. He’s combi fed as he had a big weight loss and was slow to gain.

The worst times are 6-10pm he cries continuously unless on the boob or again being rocked. I took him swimming yesterday he cried getting changed but stopped within minutes of getting in the pool and fell asleep, I didn’t want to leave but the pool was cold so we couldn’t stay in long, I got lots of comments like ‘oh enjoy these days whilst they last’ ‘mines a diva now they’re a toddler’ I’m not enjoying these days and those comments make me feel guilty and feel like I can’t tell people how I feel.

is this normal?? What am I doing wrong?

You're not doing anything wrong and sound like a great mum.
Some babies do cry more than others, but yes this sounds a little excessive. Is he windy or colicky?
Have you had any help or advice from your health visitor?
It is exhausting but hang in there, these days will pass. 💐

You're not doing anything wrong, as last poster said, nothing is 'your fault' with a newborn on the whole. It could be a case of 'fourth trimester' https://www.pregnancybirthbaby.org.au/what-is-the-fourth-trimester#:~:text=The%20fourth%20trimester%20is%20the,new%20life%20as%20a%20mum. where the baby is simply having a tough time adjusting to the world outside the womb and just wants to be back where it's warm, dark and predictable, and they do get over it. Baby-wearing with a sling may help him adjust, but maybe you're doing that already?

But do talk to your HV, don't feel you have to do everything yourself - and can your partner help give you a break evenings and weekends?

Reflux? If he is only comfortable upright it could well be that. See your gp asap.

I am so sorry you are going through this. Motherhood is so tough at any stage!

Do you think baby could possibly be colic? Do you have a routine? Have you tried a warm bath & swaddle. Lotion massage? White noise ?

Silent reflux? Especially if only happy laid up against your chest in the carrier
Ask GP about it asap, all my boy babies had it, absolutely draining as they just cried so much
Were happy on Gaviscon or Ranitidine (sp?)

it sounds very normal so try not to worry. look up how to safely co-sleep - it can really help and let you have a bit of sleep too. Also get a good sling- one that's ergonomic to support hips (not baby bjorn). You might also wish to try a dummy to soothe them at this age. Hang in there. it does get better but may get harder before it does. Mine is 15 months and still waking several times a night and it's killing me. I have to keep reminding myself that my eldest, another bad sleeper, was sleeping fine by 2 so a few more months left

I had this baby! Other mums would be sitting in a circle cooing at their smiley babies while I’d be walking the floor trying to keep baby from screaming.
In our case it was reflux which ended up being medicated. Because you want to medicate to the least amount possible, it was not a magic pill but got us through the worst.
Baby steadily improved especially after weaning. But the early days seemed so long..
Today the same child is a smart and funny kid who you’d never know had such a rough start! The next baby was a breeze in comparison.

7 weeks is peak crying time. Hang on in there. One minute you'll be obsessed with researching the possible causes and solutions, the next it will all be over (probably still unexplained!) and you'll be onto the next thing!

He’s definitely colicky, he goes bright red, arched his back stiffens his body. I’ve tried infacol didn’t see much difference, using the dentinox colic drops for the last week or so and I feel that helps somewhat.
I thought it might be reflux I took him
to the GP 2 weeks ago but they didn’t think with the history that it was, they did give us some infant gaviscon to try, I didn’t notice much difference but I maybe didn’t give it enough chance I think because the GP didn’t think it was I felt a bit bad giving him it. I am baby wearing using a Tula carrier, have thought a sling might be better so I could feed in it.

We have a loose routine of coming up to bed around 7 and just feeding and rocking until he falls asleep, he’s then up 1-2 hourly which I know can be normal for a newborn. He won’t take a dummy he screams and moves his head spitting it out, he even screams when he’s swaddled, I bought a swaddle sleep bag thinking it would help I put him down in it (almost asleep) he got so worked up he broke out of it zip and all 🙈 was like watching the hulk.

I have tried massage but he just cries and tenses the whole time. I am not with his dad, he does visit and wants to be involved but in all honesty is useless, he can’t even change his nappy he gets flustered and asks me to take over, he basically comes over for an hour or so which I use to shower or eat or clean, holds him, occasionally speaking to him or rocking him and hands him back when he cries, so I can’t really rely on him.

My mum helps, she stayed for the first 2 weeks when I got home as I had a section and has stayed weekly, however she’s away for 10 days so it’s probably come to a bit of a head for me in the last week. She’s back on Friday thankfully. I’ve had my sister round to help a couple of times but she doesn’t know what to do with him either when he’s crying.

My health visitor is coming today for his 6-8 week check I plan on talking to her about it, I will probably cry.

Gaviscon is hit or miss definitely push health visitor/GP for medicated reflux and dont be afraid of giving it to him, he's probably in pain, the acid from the stomach comes back up as their oesophagus isn't well developed yet :(

The thicker comfort milk is meant to help too as it stays down but as I bf I didn't use

Carobel? Was recommended to me last baby
Really can empathise I remember propping myself up with the pregnancy pillows so baby could nap upright on my chest as I watched TV etc and cosleeping

My heart feels for you so much! I had this same baby. If she was awake she was screaming. Bottles took an hour to get down. She only slept for 20 minute increments. 40 at most. It was awful to say the least. The only thing that would keep her quiet was if I had a white noise machine...... all the way up NEXT to her head. I felt so awful! Only thing I could think of was how it would affect her hearing. I needed a break from the screaming tho! That was the only thing that did it. Eventually it went out so I would run the vacuum next to her. That worked. We tried medication for reflux as doctor thought it was silent. Tried different bottles and formula. Changes worked for a short while. About a week. Then it was right back to square one. It seemed as tho one day she just kind of grew out of it. She is now about to be 7 and has trouble with sleep still. We see a sleep specialist but those days felt like a life time and I don't miss the infant stage with her honestly. I didn't have anyone to help me either so I understand what you are going through. I wish there was some magical answer I could give you 🥺 I hope you find a breakthrough!

It's so hard but it will pass. Is he your first baby? Try and lean into it as much as you are able - so if he'll only settle on you then just go with that for now. Are you able to pay someone to do the cleaning? Or just let it slide...batch cook and freeze at the weekends. My second was so bad at sleeping at night that I'd alternate one night of awful broken sleep with him next to me with one night of ok sleep with him sleeping on my chest. Not ideal from a safety point of view but I wouldn't have coped otherwise. I think it's safer to do this if you're exclusively breastfeeding as there's some hormone that makes you sleep more lightly.

Oh man I had EXACTLY this and funnily enough my baby son would float around in a swimming pool and go to sleep. He sounds colicky and it’s hard work. It DOES get better for sure but I would rope in as much support as you can to get a break here and there.

This is a very tough time. I'd stop trying to change it and just focus on survival. You're a single parent which is extremely tough.

I'd give up on the pram just for now, for shopping take the baby in the carrier and put the shopping in the pram.

If feeding all evening stops the crying, then do that and get some peace while you watch TV. Routines can be introduced any time, now is about peace and rest for you.

It really does sound like reflux. I agree with pp that omeprazole or ranitidine is effective and you have to give it regularly.
I am on omeprazole and if I miss a dose I feel dreadful. Reflux is terribly painful.

My baby was exactly the same. If he was awake, he was screaming. I used to look at the other mums and babies in clinic or baby groups that all seemed calm and peaceful.
I discovered white noise that at that time , was on an audio cassette this helped and on one occasion when visiting a relative I'd forgotten the white noise cassette and he was screaming. The nearest thing to white noise that I could find at the relative's house was the vacuum. Within 10 seconds of the vacuum being switched on, he'd stopped crying, weird.
He always wanted to be upright and at 4 months someone lent us a baby walker which I know is frowned on these days but he absolutely loved it. We used it until he was about 8 months when he was able to start coasting around the furniture.

Hairdryers also worked for us, I’d forgotten that phase @Ahwig

Ah yeah, white noise apps on your phone, and also the "tiger in the tree" hold - total game changer - look it up.

Hi everyone thank you for all your advice and solidarity. I had a really hard few days with hun screaming non stop I was really at breaking point, my best friend popped round and gave some moral support which helped.

The health visitor felt the same that he probably has colic but she said it sounded like silent reflux she said her babies had it and it sounded the same. I have given the gaviscon religiously today and although he’s still cried and wanted to be on me, he went in his Moses basket for 20 minutes for a nap and has been in the bouncer twice for 10 minute intervals which he has never done, he’s still only cat napped for no longer then 30 mins each time but even those little things have made a big difference to me. I’m really hoping we’re turning a corner. I used white noise last night, he was still up 2 hourly be he settled much quicker! Have my fingers crossed for a good night, so far it’s been good, he only cried for a short while around 6pm and 9pm!

Wow that's great 🤗 So happy to hear that. You can think so much more clearly and positively when you get a little break and things start to change. Be on the look out for constipation as gaviscon can cause it - don't be afraid to go up and pester GP/health visitor for ranitidine etc. If he needs it he needs it!!

I’m so glad to read this! I recognised a (former) desperate mum when I read one!

Glad that the time might be turning. Baby steps, literally.

You’re doing great, it’s the “fourth trimester”, there’s also a lot of growth and brain development going on. My second was a crybaby for 2-3 months and then gradually as she began to really see me more and understand I could go away and come back, has become very contented in her bouncer and the pram, until then, it was the carrier all the time or on the boob, being held for naps (and taking shifts to hold her at night). We are a carrying species so a baby that wants to constantly be held isn’t actually unusual, cluster feeding is also normal so you are doing well to feed frequently and responsively if breastfeeding (if weight is on track and plenty of wet/dirty nappies). Both of mine weren’t terribly colicky but they definitely had some kind of sore tummies and reflux, and spit up a lot, which passed as they got bigger. It is so incredibly hard at the time, try and savour what you can, take pictures, but don’t feel guilty counting the weeks.. it does get better in a fairly short time. XX

Edit: might also want to be cautious with Gaviscon, as I think it can cause constipation

not sure if anyone will see this but OP I wondered how things are now? And when it improved? I could have written this about my son and feel like I’m going crazy with it. I have an older daughter too and it’s having a huge impact on her. Are there any glimmers of hope?!

Hi, I’m sorry to hear you’re having a similar experience! It really affected my mental health but it did get better! It was when baby got to around 3.5 months, he’s now 7 months & he is so much better, up until a month or 2 ago I told everyone he was my lap baby 😂 although still likes to be held, now he is rolling and moving around the room he is much happier I can leave him on the the floor for 20-30 mins which I never ever thought I’d do, he even likes the pram! His sleep is better too, he sleeps 8-6:30 with 1 wake up & that’s just for dummy! Naps still a bit off usually 2/3 naps can be 30 mins or 1.5 hours.
How old is your little one?

Thanks so much for replying. My son is 9 weeks but was premature. He cries pretty constantly except when feeding and cannot ever be put down which is so hard with another. I hope we follow your example and he gets better! We have been prescribed gaviscon for reflux so hope that helps.