Feeling so blaaaaah

[fedupofbeingbroke]

When do you start to feeling "normal" after having a baby, or at the very least, a small bit like former self?
I had a baby 14m ago and just feel the worst I have ever felt. I've put on two stone, eczema round my eyes (dermatologist booked for December), c section belly hang so can't tuck tops in etc. when I look in the mirror, I look so tired and haggard and I feel like I desperately want to look good but just don't have energy to: I'll be honest, I skip showers, don't wash my hair etc and I would never every have done that before. Can't remember the last time I did my hair. I comfort eat so much as I feel it's the only thing I look forward to now. I try and try to diet but I just can't do it.
I feel so desperately unattractive.
I also feel like I just "get by" each day, I basically wait for it to pass - not sure what I'm waiting for but I don't ever enjoy anything. I dread finding something to wear each day, can't remember the last time I felt good - honestly it must have been pre pregnancy.
I have suffered with PND and I'm pretty sure I still have it to some extent but I just thought I'd feel better by now. I want my baby to have a happy, fulfilled mum, not the shell of a person I am.
Not sure why I'm posting, I think I'm just ranting: husband and baby with virus this week and it's been very exhausting and just needed to get this off my chest!

I think anything seems bettermore interesting, more funwhen we're making progress. I see it all the time in my job; people start making fast progress as soon as they have managed to understand something. That little bit of understanding then inspires them to keep going. I saw the same thing when I started dieting and exercising after a long break. Once I could tell I had made progress, I was excited about continuing.

So it is a bit like the chicken and the egg. You need to get to where you feel good enough that you notice you feel better.

1. If sleep is a problem, my advice is to put that at the top of your to-do list. You need to be getting enough sleep and on a regular schedule. It may sound nuts but it's true that our bodies deal with certain processes on a schedule. So if we don't sleep regular hours, that all gets thrown into chaos. I notice that I break out in cold-sores when my sleep is disrupted and have friends who get eczema. Vitamin deficiencies (vitamin D and iron) do the same thing...

I'm wondering if similar issues might be behind your eczema and general blah feeling. Can you get a blood test from your GP? Is there anything you can do to improve your sleep patterns?

1. You probably don't feel up to addressing all of your problems at once but you could consider setting small goals. Could you take a shower every day, for example? Make it your golden rule. Bet that'll help you to feel better. Can you load up a yoga class on YouTube so that when you do feel up to it, you can do the class? If you've been stuck in the house not feeling good, I bet you have a lot of muscle stiffness and tension. Could you start doing some squats when the kettle is heating? Even doing just 10, for example, will help you feel stronger over time and you'll start feeling better and more up to doing everyday tasks.

Also, keep in mind that no matter what you can or can't do right now, it will get better. The baby will become more independent, you'll have time to relax. And don't beat yourself up about the kind of mum the baby has. The baby will not remember and probably has no idea that you're not feeling 100% right now. And you're certainly not the first mum who has felt overwhelmed. Good luc

Plan some treats for yourself - a walk, a soak in the bath, facetime your family or friends, visit them for a few days, get your hair done. It is an exhausting time and you have to look after yourself.