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Original poster

What the actual fuck has my dog just done?

77 replies

SelkieSeal · 25/09/2023 20:59

We live on a farm. I've just let the dog out into our orchard (her fave field) for an evening sniff/wee, the same as I do every evening about now. She ran off into the trees and then...didn't come back.

After a few minutes I went looking for her with a torch and realised there was a bunch of deer in there - I could see their eyes and hear them snorting. They ran off when I came near calling for the dog. Eventually the dog came absolutely pelting back to me looking terrified, absolutely covered in mud/bits of field/smears of god knows what, and stinking.

OMG the smell. She has made the whole house stink, some sort of musky putrid smell (not corpse or shit though). And she is so scared, I can't hardly get near her to try and wipe her down. She's just gone and hidden in her bed. I am literally retching from the smell, I've never smelled anything like it before. The DC are out of bed because they could smell it through their closed bedroom door!

Assuming the deer scared her? But she's seen deer plenty of times, they're always wandering around here Confused And has she rolled in something (but what??) and tried to hide from them? Or...?

Any tips for de-stinking a scared dog?

OP posts:
Prescottdanni123 · 25/09/2023 21:37

Pissed off a fox or badger?

FreeRider · 25/09/2023 21:53

That's for the reminder that I'd rather chew my own foot off that ever have a dog.

Spudlet · 25/09/2023 21:53

Ketchup gets most smells out, IME, or at least helps. It did take quite a few baths before the smell of decomposing seal came off my old spaniel 🤢

Will something like peanut butter smeared onto a suitable toy or surface (like the side of the bath) keep her occupied enough for a ketchup-ing session?

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Dogs
Theunamedcat · 25/09/2023 22:01

Honestly if I had stinky stuff all over my face the LAST thing I would do is open my mouth to BARK

Bath time with ketchup you will all feel better afterwards

Original poster
SelkieSeal · 25/09/2023 22:01

FreeRider · 25/09/2023 21:53

That's for the reminder that I'd rather chew my own foot off that ever have a dog.

Any time. I can tell you about the time she found a dead gannet on the beach if you need a further reminder? Always happy to help 😆

All you ketchup suggesters - would white vinegar work similarly? It's just I think she would try and eat the ketchup as I was doing it, which would be counterproductive and unhelpful in true doggo fashion.

We've just gone out the back into a different field and she ran ahead of me and wuffed at a pheasant 🙄 so I think she is fine, just very smelly and a bit scared of the orchard now!

OP posts:
Original poster
SelkieSeal · 25/09/2023 22:02

Spudlet · 25/09/2023 21:53

Ketchup gets most smells out, IME, or at least helps. It did take quite a few baths before the smell of decomposing seal came off my old spaniel 🤢

Will something like peanut butter smeared onto a suitable toy or surface (like the side of the bath) keep her occupied enough for a ketchup-ing session?

Decomposing seal 🤢🤢🤢

OP posts:
Fluffyrug191 · 25/09/2023 22:08

Is she a spaniel OP? Mine have a unique ability to find and eat or roll in the most hideously smelling things. Fox poo is my least favourite closely followed by dead badger.

TheShellBeach · 25/09/2023 22:09

I'm not sure I want to know how the decomposing seal incident occurred.

Dunnoburt · 25/09/2023 22:13

Isn't it rutting season soon?......stags like to make pits they fill with urine along with spraying themselves.......

Original poster
SelkieSeal · 25/09/2023 22:14

Fluffyrug191 · 25/09/2023 22:08

Is she a spaniel OP? Mine have a unique ability to find and eat or roll in the most hideously smelling things. Fox poo is my least favourite closely followed by dead badger.

No, collie/lab cross!

OP posts:
Original poster
SelkieSeal · 25/09/2023 22:17

Dunnoburt · 25/09/2023 22:13

Isn't it rutting season soon?......stags like to make pits they fill with urine along with spraying themselves.......

It is coming up to rutting season yes, and I think this is exactly what she's been in! It's not a dead thing or actual shit smell. It's a sort of putrid sweetish musk. Vile!

OP posts:
BellaAndDave · 25/09/2023 22:20

It’s deer rutting season. They tend to wallow in their own shit and urine, that’s probably what your dog has on it. We don’t let our dogs wander far as the stags can be very aggressive.

ImAStallionBaby · 25/09/2023 22:22

Wish I'd known about the ketchup trick when my dog did this. Never found out what he'd rolled in, but I was in bed upstairs, when I smelled him coming through the kitchen door.

You have my sympathy, op.

hereismydog · 25/09/2023 22:22

My dog is a prolific shit-roller! The worst episode by far was the human shit I found him rolling in at the park. Some dirty fucker shat in the bush (I know it was human because of the tissues that accompanied the turd!) and my boy was delighted to find it. I cried my eyes out in despair trying to wipe him down enough to get him in the car and threw up in the process.

See also unidentifiable maggoty carcass, fox poo, swan poo, dead hedgehog. Dogs are fucking VILE, truly 🥴

And yes to ketchup. The cheaper and more vinegary, the better! We have an own-brand bottle of ketchup in the house at all times specifically for stinky dog incidents. He gets thoroughly marinated in the ketchup for 10 minutes and then showered with Dirty Beastie shampoo. Nasty boy.

Grumblebees · 25/09/2023 22:32

OP if it helps make you feel better, at least it's only the dog that smells so vile. This time last week I'd just discovered that our 13 year old dog had done a very rare poo in the house. Unfortunately our robovac had been out at the same time 😨🤮. It took me three hours to clean and disinfect the floors, and I am still thanking the universe that the bot's wheels were so caked in dog shit that it got stuck getting up the join between the hallway hard floor and sitting room carpet, let out its usual cry for help and I discovered it before I went to bed. If it had got into the sitting room and I hadn't found it until morning (actually my 4 year old DS would have come down first and gagged everywhere) I think I'd have had to burn the house down.

Good luck with de-musking your hound

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 25/09/2023 22:32

It's rutting season, which might be relevant!

DogDream · 25/09/2023 22:35

Another vote for ketchup. Don’t worry if she tries to lick it off, it will keep her busy at least.

Be very generous with it! You can use regular dog shampoo after if you’d prefer her not to smell like a tomato.

Original poster
SelkieSeal · 25/09/2023 22:39

DogDream · 25/09/2023 22:35

Another vote for ketchup. Don’t worry if she tries to lick it off, it will keep her busy at least.

Be very generous with it! You can use regular dog shampoo after if you’d prefer her not to smell like a tomato.

I'd be very happy with her smelling like a tomato right now tbh. That would be infinitely preferable to smelling like...like this 😬

OP posts:
jlpth · 25/09/2023 22:42

If she is covered in deer piss, she presumably needs to soak in bath. Thing is, I find once my dog is seriously scared (eg fireworks), then it takes hours to calm down.

Original poster
SelkieSeal · 25/09/2023 22:46

jlpth · 25/09/2023 22:42

If she is covered in deer piss, she presumably needs to soak in bath. Thing is, I find once my dog is seriously scared (eg fireworks), then it takes hours to calm down.

I've given up and gone to bed. I'm going to vinegar and ketchup her in the morning then take her to the river to swim for a bit and rinse it all off in a fun and non-traumatic way. Hopefully that will sort it!

OP posts:
LuluBlakey1 · 25/09/2023 22:47

Deer absolutely stink during the rutting season. Stags release some horrible, vile smelling stuff that they roll in. It's disgusting.

Sezza57325 · 25/09/2023 22:53

Grumblebees · 25/09/2023 22:32

OP if it helps make you feel better, at least it's only the dog that smells so vile. This time last week I'd just discovered that our 13 year old dog had done a very rare poo in the house. Unfortunately our robovac had been out at the same time 😨🤮. It took me three hours to clean and disinfect the floors, and I am still thanking the universe that the bot's wheels were so caked in dog shit that it got stuck getting up the join between the hallway hard floor and sitting room carpet, let out its usual cry for help and I discovered it before I went to bed. If it had got into the sitting room and I hadn't found it until morning (actually my 4 year old DS would have come down first and gagged everywhere) I think I'd have had to burn the house down.

Good luck with de-musking your hound

And I thought I’d had a bad time having to scrub everything and unscrew the robovac to bleach it after it sprayed cat vomit across my carpets and walls! I don’t envy you, I bet the robot went in the bin!!

LuluBlakey1 · 25/09/2023 22:54

She's lucky they didn't turn on her and kill her.

DesteB · 25/09/2023 22:55

Grumblebees, that really made me laugh out loud.

justasking111 · 25/09/2023 23:00

Our worst was decomposing sheep in the reeds at the lake side. OMG the smell in the car.