I used to self-harm as a teenager and my arms are covered in scars. I haven't done it for 15 years now, and although I wouldn't say I'm ashamed of my arms, it doesn't make me feel good to look at them. They're a reminder of a bad time in my life that I've otherwise moved on from, and I find that they sometimes bring back bad memories. I decided a long time ago that I wanted to get some tattoos over the scars, so that I have something nice to look at instead. I've had a very long time to decide what I want, who I want to do it, and I firmly feel that I'm making the right choice.
However, my appointment is now fast approaching and I've become a bit anxious about something...
Nearly all the people in my life now didn't know me as a teenager. I tend to keep my arms covered unless it's very hot, so some of my friends probably haven't ever seen the scars. Others definitely have, but nobody has ever mentioned it (and the scars are very noticeable, so it's not like people are unlikely to notice them when I do wear short sleeves).
I'm therefore a bit nervous about when people inevitably show interest in my new tattoos! I'm under no illusion that the scars will be completely hidden - this really is just for me and about how it makes me feel. But I think it's going to be awkward when people see the tattoos for the first time and are having a good look!
Has anyone else been in this position? I'm not sure what I hope to achieve with this post, I suppose I'm just getting this little worry off my chest because there's nobody else I can really talk to about it...