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*Trigger warning* I'm getting a tattoo to cover up my scars, but...

9 replies

Elevant · 25/09/2023 19:57

I used to self-harm as a teenager and my arms are covered in scars. I haven't done it for 15 years now, and although I wouldn't say I'm ashamed of my arms, it doesn't make me feel good to look at them. They're a reminder of a bad time in my life that I've otherwise moved on from, and I find that they sometimes bring back bad memories. I decided a long time ago that I wanted to get some tattoos over the scars, so that I have something nice to look at instead. I've had a very long time to decide what I want, who I want to do it, and I firmly feel that I'm making the right choice.

However, my appointment is now fast approaching and I've become a bit anxious about something...

Nearly all the people in my life now didn't know me as a teenager. I tend to keep my arms covered unless it's very hot, so some of my friends probably haven't ever seen the scars. Others definitely have, but nobody has ever mentioned it (and the scars are very noticeable, so it's not like people are unlikely to notice them when I do wear short sleeves).

I'm therefore a bit nervous about when people inevitably show interest in my new tattoos! I'm under no illusion that the scars will be completely hidden - this really is just for me and about how it makes me feel. But I think it's going to be awkward when people see the tattoos for the first time and are having a good look!

Has anyone else been in this position? I'm not sure what I hope to achieve with this post, I suppose I'm just getting this little worry off my chest because there's nobody else I can really talk to about it...

OP posts:
satellitesunshine · 25/09/2023 20:05

i understand your worry but i got a whole patchwork sleeve in the space of a couple months and even then nobody really looked at them closely - i think you’re possibly overthinking it! if anyone does notice i doubt they would point out the scars too x

quitequietly202 · 25/09/2023 20:28

Elevant · 25/09/2023 19:57

I used to self-harm as a teenager and my arms are covered in scars. I haven't done it for 15 years now, and although I wouldn't say I'm ashamed of my arms, it doesn't make me feel good to look at them. They're a reminder of a bad time in my life that I've otherwise moved on from, and I find that they sometimes bring back bad memories. I decided a long time ago that I wanted to get some tattoos over the scars, so that I have something nice to look at instead. I've had a very long time to decide what I want, who I want to do it, and I firmly feel that I'm making the right choice.

However, my appointment is now fast approaching and I've become a bit anxious about something...

Nearly all the people in my life now didn't know me as a teenager. I tend to keep my arms covered unless it's very hot, so some of my friends probably haven't ever seen the scars. Others definitely have, but nobody has ever mentioned it (and the scars are very noticeable, so it's not like people are unlikely to notice them when I do wear short sleeves).

I'm therefore a bit nervous about when people inevitably show interest in my new tattoos! I'm under no illusion that the scars will be completely hidden - this really is just for me and about how it makes me feel. But I think it's going to be awkward when people see the tattoos for the first time and are having a good look!

Has anyone else been in this position? I'm not sure what I hope to achieve with this post, I suppose I'm just getting this little worry off my chest because there's nobody else I can really talk to about it...

@Elevant I have been in your exact situation almost. Went through a troubled time and self harmed in my late teens. I wore long sleeves for a big part of my 20s, as I felt that the scars told a story that I didn't want to share. I felt as though the evidence of self harm probably made me look unstable to others (even though I was way past that period of my life). I was very self conscious and insecure because of my arm, and then one day I decided a tattoo would be a good idea to cover. The tattoo gave me back my confidence and allowed me to let go of the anxieties attached to my scars. I have a tattoo sleeve of sorts...with a nice feminine intricate set of imagery. I love it and always get compliments. I have since had a few more small tattoos, and I have no regrets

sleepyscientist · 25/09/2023 20:31

OP well done for moving forward. Have you discussed it with the artist? Lasering the scar 1st might give you a better base to hide them fully especially if the designs are complex

Peacendkindness · 25/09/2023 20:33

I haven’t self harmed but I have scars - big massive ones too - from abuse that I wouldn’t want to elaborate on - firstly you don’t have to show anything you don’t want to, second of all a tattoo sounds positive and like you are taking control. Depending where they are (arms?) they will heal over the winter and the tattoo can come out on summer. You can shut any conversation down but most people just will not ask.

Some callous people have asked over the years and I just say ‘from my childhood and I don’t want to discuss it’ not aggressively but calmly and it shuts it down.

gamerchick · 25/09/2023 20:33

I got a tattoo over quite a big scar I got in an accident. You can't see the scar unless it's in a certain situation like bright sunlight and it's a bit shiny looking. Honestly stop worrying. It'll give you a new found confidence.

quitequietly202 · 25/09/2023 20:37

@Elevant I forgot to mention that whilst my scars were very obvious before, I don't get the impression that anyone notices them since the tattoo. I can see the scars easily, but I think that may be because I know they are there. The size and style of the tattoo is what tends to get attention...people usually just ask 'how much it hurt' or 'how long it took' or 'if there is a special meaning or inspiration behind it'

Helenahandkart · 25/09/2023 20:51

I got a big tattoo to cover the worst of my scars. They are still quite visible and I do feel self conscious when people admire the very beautiful tattoo.
I think in retrospect the cover up would have worked better if the lines of the tattoo followed the lines of the scars. There are two or three really prominent big scars at my wrist that I wish I had tried to incorporate into the design of the tattoo.
I would speak to the tattoo artist and see if they can bring the scars into the design a bit, particularly if you have especially deep ones.

VikingLady · 25/09/2023 20:53

If you're worried about people asking why you got them, and you don't want to say what they're covering, I offer you my own excuse. They're my mid life crisis! Cheaper than a sports car, less effort than an affair!

Good luck, and I'm sure you'll feel much better taking ownership of your skin Flowers

Elevant · 25/09/2023 21:49

What lovely, kind responses, thank you all. This has really boosted my confidence again and rekindled my excitement about getting it done! Also I love the "midlife crisis" response, that sounds like a great way to use humour to deflect any awkwardness Grin

The tattoo artist is a really nice guy and very experienced with this sort of thing. I've been in to see him and he's had a look at my arms. He's come up with something that should hopefully work really well.

Flowers to everyone else who has struggled or been through something unpleasant x

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