What is wrong with me ?

[Mynamehaschanged89]

Last few weeks I cannot bear to be either alone at home (teen DC are in but doing own things in their bedrooms) or without my DH at home. As soon as DH goes out I'm bored/lonely. We don't live in each others pockets and sometimes we are both in but doing separate things. All of a sudden I've found myself feeling really dependent on DH for company (I have friends) to the extent I don't want to go out without him or go out with friends because then he's not there (I'm still seeing friends). Im 47. Is this possibly peri-related ? I'm anxious if I ever lost DH (no plans to ! Marriage is good, but hasn't always been this good/ easy). I'm doing anything and everything to please him eg popping to shop, watching whatever he wants on TV regardless if I like it or not, having takeaway just because he wants it. We've been married for 24 years.

Sounds like anxiety might be an underlying thing. Is there anything that could have caused that?

I'm also wanting a drink (wine) every night. It's very unlike me. I can do at least half bottle a night when at home. Regardless if I'm alone or with DH

try stopping wine for 3 days - that might help with the anxiety too.

The wine-anxiety could be a vicious circle, so do try to cut that out and see if it helps.

Apparently social anxiety is a peri symptom (but so many things seem to be that ymmv).

I sympathise though, DH is away for a week soon. Normally I'd be looking forward to having some peace and quiet, eating what I want, watching what I want, and enjoying missing him for a while, but right now I'm suddenly feeling very anxious and stressed at the idea of being completely alone for a week. I don't actually need to be alone for a week, I can go to work for company, see friends etc... But the sense of general anxious unease makes making social plans feel extra risky.

(I have GP diagnosed GAD so am aware that's what is at the root for me, as I'm feeling very stressed generally at the moment)

I have become like this, too. Previously, DH lived away during the week and I was perfectly happy only seeing him at the weekends, and getting on with my work and seeing friends by myself during the week etc.

Now, if he isn't working from home, I feel very unsettled and anxious. He has had to go into work every day for the last few weeks and instead of just thinking, 'Rightio! See you when I see you!' I've been tearful and anxious (hidden from him, of course!). I feel pathetic and not at sll like my self.

I'm also drinking more wine than I should. I usually only drink on a Friday or Saturday night but now I'm having a glass nearly every night.

@Excitingnewusername I know what you mean. My DH is always whizzing off on work trips to far flung places and I am usually fine about this - wave him off cheerfully and look forward to a few weeks of doing whatever I like. But recently I have started dreading his trips and miss him horribly when he is away. Normal domestic stuff seems insurmountable. It's ridiculous.

I'd say hormonal. My DH used to work away, I love space, love being home alone but at 48 I spent the entire 3 weeks he was away totally on edge.

Almost verge of panicking daily fur no apparent reason, I couldn't focus, had to keep busy and didn't fully sleep.

I've never in my life felt so strange as I do now with meetings, work, being alone or travelling.

@Alighttouchonthetiller gentle hugs from me. I'm planning on deep cleaning the house when I get in from work on the evening he has gone to enjoy the novelty, and then living off (healthy-ish) ready meals for a large part of the time, as I suck at cooking for myself. I have so much I need to do that I should be able to distract and occupy myself. Though I've never been great at sleeping alone, even when I lived on my own for years and years.

I wonder whether lockdown has played a part in this, as I also feel a lot more anxious now when my parents travel, and when I do too.

I feel like I possibly cannot function without DH. I'm so confused why I feel like this. I don't want to be so dependent on 1 person but I can't bear to be away from him atm. We've previously had periods where we've been a bit estranged from each other and just done our own thing; periods where we've both pissed each other off just for breathing. I'm still seeing my friends, although a little less, but still making plans where I can with them. 1 friend has commented/noted that I'm seeing her a little less. I'm worried I'm pissing her off