How much do you spend on children's birthdays?

[Mayhemmumma]

It's getting a little obscene as my two get older and the gifts/clothes get more expensive.

DD is turning 12, she's doing an average cost activity and lunch with friends.

Presents are converse trainers - adult size and either theatre or experience type gift.

I'll buy a cake, balloons, badge, card, wrapping (obviously but still adds up) and will have a family dinner on her actual birthday.

Im happy ish with this, kids aren't grabby or demanding but do have expectations and I have always tried to treat them on birthdays and Xmas but I've looked at my bank balance and am likely going to use my credit card, and is does seem a bit too much. I have no idea what reasonable is.

How much would you spend on a birthday for a pre-teen all in?

It does sound obscene and over the top. Trainers or a theatre gift is quite enough.

I wouldn’t get into debt over a child’s birthday, they’ll have lots of fun with their friends and probably get presents from them too. Do you have any leftover paper to wrap the shoes? Maybe get a reusable bag and use it each year. I’d skip the balloons.

Forget what anyone else would spend, everyone has different budgets, lives and expectations. If you can't actually afford it and are likely to use your credit card then it's too much for you.

Usually comes to around £150, either cheaper outing/cake with £100 on gifts. Or a party and £50 on gifts, depending on what they ask for.

We normally do one main present and a couple of other little bits. So I would buy the trainers or the theatre tickets but not both. I certainly wouldn't get into any debt for it.

What does the lunch with friends involve? As in, you're taking them out somewhere? That gets expensive if so. We tend to say have friends over for a sleepover and get some pizzas.

Lucky my kids and their friends have a policy of doing something together but everyone paying for themselves.

They get a new phone every other birthday from their dad. (He works in the industry so gets them at a good price) On the other year they usually get something like trainers or a new coat.

With Christmas around the corner I wouldn't get the credit card out unless you can pay it off next pay day. Personally I think that the converse, experience with friends and gifts from friends and other family will be plenty.

I would never get into debt over presents .. converse trainers and a theatre trip (presumably tickets for other members of the family?) sounds very generous.

We probably spend around £100 and it's usually something 'useful' like sports kit ...

I think the request for trainers threw me as it seems like a fairly basic want and i usually buy clothes and shoes but they are nice ones.

Thanks, I think I'll get the tickets for Xmas.

I’ve bought DS (going to be 16) a coat and trainers that he’s requested… £350 😬
And that’s without the meal out, balloons, cards etc - ridiculous BUT I’m cutting down at Christmas he can’t have it all ways, but it’s what he’s asked for.

However what makes it worse is other DC’s birthday 2 weeks later 😒

Tbh if this is something I would have bought anyways, then I tend to go for it.

eg dc is getting very good at climbing/bouldering and asked for climbing shoes of a ‘better standard’. I would have bought those anyway so they go on the b’day gift list - just a bit earlier than I would have. Even though they are expensive (about £120~150 a pair)
Same with a good quality coat - but dc would know not to come and ask for another one for a long time (assuming not still growing iyswim)

Less ‘needed’ stuff has a much lower cap.

Glad it's not just me NKD!

And that's the thing red and white I would have got the trainers anyway when she needed new ones.

The food with friends will probably be Itsu noodles and I'll love taking her and her friends out.

But I don't want to get this wrong, I never grew up like she has nor did my DH so we're happily paying out but equally not wanting for her to be spoilt or a brat.

You’ll get a mixture of both chronic overspenders and competitive overspenders here, OP.

Just do what works for you and your family.

Personally, this year DD turns 10. Her party cost £200 and her gifts will probably cost around £100. Trying to get as much as possible second hand (riding gear) but it’s expensive even on vinted! She’s not grabby at all and is aware that parties will stop after primary school and has no issue with that. She’s a very good kid: hard-working, kind, empathetic and mature and responsible. We can afford it so it’s fine for us.

I wouldn't say this is over the top at all?? Just sounds nice

I do spend a lot but I can afford to do that.

I don’t think this sounds over the top.

My son is 17 in October and is getting graphic novels and 2 games that are coming out. We’re away the weekend of his birthday and will go out for a meal the night of his birthday and he’ll have a shopping trip to spend money/vouchers (on more graphic novels!) gifted from family.

My dcs are now young adults.
They didn’t become grabby or entitled or spoiled ☺️☺️

I think this happens when children/teens get anything they want as soon as they want them.
And there are plenty of opportunities to teach them about the value of money outside if b’days (or Christmas).

I've spent £400. This is wasaaay over what I'd normally spend but I've done a party too.

Thank you this is really helpful, a mix of responses.

I'm mostly thinking I need to save for Christmas tbh!!

I will reign in a bit and save tickets for Christmas but I know there's books and bits she'd like so will tell my parents to get those things, she's a lucky girl!

DSS just turned 11 last year. He went to the trampoline park with three friends (£50) had a friend over for a sleep over (free but we probably spend 10 or so one pizza and treats), had a cake ( home made probably 15 quid on ingredients and decorating). Present was 2 computer games £50

Previously we have taken him to legoland but haven't been able to afford it last couple years. This year we discussed thorpe park and I'm sure he would love it but we couldn't justify it going on credit cards

I think a gift and an experience is pretty much in line with what I do. However I tend to book the tickets only for myself or DH and the birthday child rather than the whole family otherwise it gets too expensive.

For an 8yo boy I'm planning a dinner at Sticks n Sushi the night before the birthday, then Thames Rib speedboat, lunch at Benihana and a trip to Hamleys to choose a gift up to £30.

Birthday card, some mini Colin caterpillar cakes, special birthday bacon sandwiches plus some bath bombs.

It depends on your financial situation I guess, but I don't ever think it's good to spoil them. It's a slippery slope. About £80-£100 normally. Might go over slightly if it's a big thing they genuinely will get a lot of use from.

It depends if they need what they’re getting. So last year we spent more money than I care to think about on a cricket bat for DS (10) because he’d outgrown his and made the county squad. Normally a couple of friends overnight with pizza for a party and then one ‘big’ present. This year I despair because he neither wants nor needs anything four weeks out from his birthday!

For us it’s usually one ‘big present’ and the a few smaller cheaper things to open. My daughter wanted a laptop so she saved up and we put £120 towards it and then bought little bits like lip balm, craft items etc to top it up. Probably £150 all in. Oh, and the meal out.