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Family’s negative views on my career history

2 replies

GenXTeaDrinker · 24/09/2023 13:34

Gen X woman here. I’m old enough that it was assumed I would get on a career ladder after uni and work my way up to management level. It was expected that I would have some sort of career path that involved promotions.

I never did have a career path like that. Self-employment, volunteering, precarious zero hour contracts, short contracts, and further study were all part of the mix.

Some loved ones in the generation above are absolutely convinced that I’ve never worked. I suspect part of the reason is that I’ve never really talked about work with them much and I didn’t have big landmark events like getting promotions and fancy titles. I can see how a three month contract could pass under the radar if a loved one lives some distance away and they’re too busy to talk because they’re busy on their three month contract!

I’m just curious whether this misunderstanding is fairly common in a family where most have followed the traditional career ladder and just a few have ended up with multiple jobs, side hustles etc…

OP posts:
toadasoda · 24/09/2023 15:44

Well I can tell you my family would be 100% like that. They were career obsessed and put a lot of pressure on us. No one ever said do what makes you happy. They love the fact that my sister and my husband have a traditional professional job that everyone understands the meaning of. It's a case of 'She is a blahblah' rather than 'she works in blah industry'. I had a slightly vague job and moved career twice so i just about pass the test. Sadly I think the fact my husband fits the professional career type that's approved of, it took the pressure off me. I got to be 'a blah's wife', the fact that I worked my ass off too wasn't acknowledged so much. I did give up work to be a SAHM so I can no longer complain about that point. Funnily enough when I decided to be a SAHM and was worried of the judgement, everyone was really supportive and positive. I'll never know did they just change their tune, or recognise that I was mature enough to make that decision or was it, as I suspect, a sexist view of at least if she can't be a blah she is a blah's wife.

GenXTeaDrinker · 24/09/2023 16:11

Yes, the sexism. I suspect if I had been a lifelong sahm I wouldn’t have been looked at so negatively.

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