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Original poster

Hen party woes

18 replies

TwoCatsandaspankedarse · 24/09/2023 08:05

I'm hoping for a balanced opinion please.
I have never been to a hen party that involved staying away before.
I don't know anyone else socially. But the expectation is to share rooms.
I really feel uncomfortable about this.
Is this how it's done usually?

OP posts:
Whataretheodds · 24/09/2023 08:06

Yes, often. Is it self-catering accommodation or a hotel? If it's a hotel, much easier to pay to have your own room.

Owjrbvr · 24/09/2023 08:08

Yes normally although ones I’ve been on people who know each other have shared rooms. The time I didn’t know anyone I shared with the bride

RampantIvy · 24/09/2023 08:08

I would pay for my own room if I really wanted to go. I won't share with anyone other than immediate family.

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YourNameGoesHere · 24/09/2023 08:08

Totally normal and I did exactly the same earlier this year. It's often self catering accommodation and given the normal size of the group, even if the hen do is kept small it's unlikely you'll find a property with that many individual rooms.

pictoosh · 24/09/2023 08:09

It's often the way, yes. I wouldn't like it either.

Original poster
TwoCatsandaspankedarse · 24/09/2023 08:17

I can't share with the bride. It's a hotel. If I don't share it makes the cost for the other single person higher and that's not an option either apparently 😔
I guess I'm going to have to decline.

OP posts:
PurpleChrayne · 24/09/2023 08:17

How it's done usually for me is that I receive an invitation to a hen party, politely refuse, and then go on happily with my life!

Totaly · 24/09/2023 08:19

If you don’t share the other person pays extra
If you don’t go the other person pays extra

So what’s the issue?

Pay for your own room if that’s what you’d prefer?

Inyourwildestdreams · 24/09/2023 08:20

@TwoCatsandaspankedarse how long are you going for and how much is the accommodation?

Jibo · 24/09/2023 08:24

How many nights is it? Maybe just push yourself out of your comfort zone, have a couple of drinks and make it work? You might make a new friend. You'll find the wedding more fun as well if you've been on the hen.

Lizardonachair · 24/09/2023 08:26

I was literally in the same situation recently. The bridesmaid booked the place without checking if everyone was ok with sharing not just a room but a bed! I didn't even know anyone! There was one single bed so I asked for it. I wouldn't have gone otherwise. It's weird to share a bed with people you don't know. I would possibly have shared a room, but you know your own boundaries so I would just make them clear and don't do anything you're not comfortable with.

Airdustmoon · 24/09/2023 08:48

I wouldn’t be keen on this. I have been on a few hen dos where I’ve had to share a bed which I’m not keen on even when it’s someone I know - I’m just very much over that stage of life now, fine when you’re at uni, not so much anymore. If it’s a hotel I’d insist on my own room, and pay the extra. If that leaves another odd person with no-one to share with, why can’t the cost be split between everyone else - if there’d been an odd number of people on the hen do to start with, that’s probably what they’d have done.

foulksmills · 24/09/2023 08:52

@Lizardonachair and @Airdustmoon Share a bed?? Hard "No" from me there.

RampantIvy · 24/09/2023 08:53

The last hen do I went on was an afternoon tea that cost less than £20. It was a cracking hen do.

Airdustmoon · 24/09/2023 08:55

foulksmills · 24/09/2023 08:52

@Lizardonachair and @Airdustmoon Share a bed?? Hard "No" from me there.

Edited

@foulksmills tell me about it … one was an old school friend so I didn’t mind that one too much, but the other I had to share a bed with a colleague who I didn’t really know … it was not the best!!

Newestname002 · 24/09/2023 10:38

I'm way past the stage in my life where, at a hen do or similar, I'd share a bed or even just a room with someone I didn't know or was just acquainted with.

I think I'd either politely decline the invitation or pay for my own room, with my own shower/bath/toilet so I could relax properly and not disturb or be disturbed by anyone else. 🌹

TheOpen · 24/09/2023 10:55

Is the hen do close enough that you could still go to the daytime parts without staying over? Even if it means sitting on a train home for a couple of hours, I'd probably do this and invent some reason why I couldn't stay overnight. (All upfront so they know you're not paying for a hotel room)

Alas I do think expectations to keep costs down mean people are expected to suck it up for a night or two and share. On the other hand, the other person will likely also be a bit worried and it could be a way to make a new friend, which in turn makes the wedding day more fun. I've done this in the past, but the odd hen do I go on these days I take option 1!

Original poster
TwoCatsandaspankedarse · 24/09/2023 12:39

It's a distance away, if it had been reasonably local I would have had options.
I will weigh up the ins and outs but definitely leaning towards not going.
Thank you for your insight and advice, it has been appreciated 🙏

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