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Original poster

Feels like ages 20-25 is the least common age group to be trying / pregnant these days?

34 replies

Babydust00 · 23/09/2023 17:51

We are within this group and soon to be trying and can’t wait.

I feel like there aren’t any mums in this age group anymore and not particularly very many under 30, either? Maybe just not in my circle.

I am happy to make friends of all ages when we go to groups etc but wonder if we will perhaps be a bit judged, despite being married, with a house and career or if people will wonder or even ask if the pregnancy was planned???

There’s a myriad of reasons why being this age suits us better, biologically and other circumstances within our family. It’s my observation that less and less people are doing same. Is anyone on here in that age group or friends with anyone who is?

OP posts:
SouthLondonMum22 · 23/09/2023 17:54

I had my first DC at 35 and I wouldn't judge but I'd definitely be surprised because it isn't usual for my area due to the expense of mortgages, nursery fees etc.

I'd also never ask if the pregnancy was planned.

SueVineer · 23/09/2023 17:56

there are no school mums in my dds classes at all who are that young. But if it’s right for you, go ahead

Hubblebubble · 23/09/2023 17:56

Had my one and only at 26. Felt like a teen mother.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

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Mushroo · 23/09/2023 17:56

I’m not (currently pregnant and 32!) but I wouldn’t judge you at all.

One of my close work friends is in the exact same situation as you and I’m so happy for her (she’s pregnant now). Age is just a number, we’re really close and it doesn’t really make a difference that she’s younger - we’re in the same life stage which is more important.

You just have to do what’s best for you. I’d recommend when you do get pregnant going to a few pregnancy based activities (yoga, Pilates etc) and you can meet lots of local people.

SherbetLemonn · 23/09/2023 17:57

I started trying in that age bracket, altho didn’t actually have my lovely son until I was 27. Of my 6 closest friends, they were all 27 and under when they had their first, a few were under 25.
Anyone who asks if any pregnancy was planned is very rude indeed. Unfortunately the joy of motherhood is that people often see it as a free for all with opinions.. you learn to filter it out and, frankly, not give a fuck.

SellFridges · 23/09/2023 17:57

I’d say it’s getting rarer and rarer for people to actively try to have their family at that age.

I think average first time mother age is around 30 now.

cocksstrideintheevening · 23/09/2023 17:58

Yes it's young, but do what works for you.

LolaSmiles · 23/09/2023 18:01

If it is right for you, it's right for you.

The other thing to be aware of is that people who are trying for a baby but not having success are unlikely to talk about it. You'll meet a range of people once you have a child and most people don't judge by age.

Most of my friends who live/lived in areas with affordable housing started their families between early 20s and early 30s. It's young by Mumsnet standards, but I suspect lower overheads mean people could get on the property ladder sooner than friends in the South East. Our South East friends were mid to late 30s before they started thinking about children.

TropicalTrama · 23/09/2023 18:02

I had DC1 at 28, was the first of all my friends and am a good decade younger than most of the other school mums and being honest, no it wasn’t planned 🤣 I didn’t finish uni until almost 22 and then you want to live your life a bit, enjoy having some money and independence. I find trying sub 25 unfathomable tbh. But you do you!

MinnieMouse0 · 23/09/2023 18:02

The average age of a first time mother in 2023 is 31. Most people go to uni then need to establish themselves in their careers, save up for house deposits etc I guess.

If it’s right for you then it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks ☺️

PurpleBananaSmoothie · 23/09/2023 18:06

People will likely ask if the pregnancy was planned regardless of your age because people are dicks. If people ask, just point out how rude they’re being.

lede · 23/09/2023 18:07

It's just the social bubble you're in. I had my first dc aged 20 and it wasn't uncommon as we lived in a deprived council estate, nobody was spending years building up a career or saving for a house deposit (everyone in council flats). I had more dc in my late 30s and everyone is a similar age as I've been able to afford to move to a more expensive area and I'm no older than the other mums. They are utterly shocked when they find out I have an adult DC!

greengreengrass25 · 23/09/2023 18:07

It's so hard financially

DD was 25 when she had dgd in the last few years but she was the youngest in her group

Waggytail · 23/09/2023 18:07

In the mums and tots/breastfeeding support groups I go to there is absolutely no judgement of young mothers. About as many are under 30 than are over 30. This is an inner city group too. I think most women at these groups really don't think twice about other mum's circumstances, you're there for your babies to interact and play and that's the important thing.

I had my first at 31 and may as well have been just out of school 🤣 not in a stable career, don't own my own house, not married to my partner. So there you go!

Bubblemoons · 23/09/2023 18:08

I had my eldest at 29, and now they are at school I am definitely one of the youngest mums. A lot of the other mums are in their 40’s, so I guess had their dc at 35plus. It’s quite nice feeling young 😅

TwighttimeVandhuk3 · 23/09/2023 18:09

This reply has been deleted

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Ponderingwindow · 23/09/2023 18:12

It is young.

women need to have a career established so they are able to support themselves and their children if something unexpected happens. It’s the very rare woman who is in the position take a career break by age 20 these days.

if you happen to be one of those rare women who has her education and a sufficient CV or simply has a large enough trust fund that neither matters, then that is great.

AutumnDay90 · 23/09/2023 18:13

I started ttc at 23 which was 10 years ago. I have a nearly 8yo now. Took me a while to conceive but not "top" long just didn't happen straight away. I was 25 when I conceived and had my baby

My friends were all similar ages or younger. I agree things do change in 10 years but I wouldn't be shocked if my cousins who are in that age bracket became pregnant

Good luck on your ttc journey

Broodywuz · 23/09/2023 18:15

It seems young and a bit crazy now to have kids at that age but biologically it's really not, my grandmother was 21 when she had her 4th baby! Go ahead if it works for you. I was 30 when I had my 1st, my sil was 25 and tbh she seemed soo young. Only thing I would say while you have time on your side, make sure you do everything else 1st. Have nice romantic holidays, drunken nights and weekends away with friends etc (or whatever is your thing) do all these things now. Before children it feels like having kinds is the ultimate goal and don't get me wrong it is the most amazing thing in the world but once they're here you can't put them back. I do sometimes wish I'd had children younger so I'll be around longer for them and to see grandchildren etc but I'm also so glad I had my 20's full of fun and experiences we'll never do again. I also think having the life experience and maturity has made me a much better mum than the mum I think I would of been in my early 20's, that could just he me though.

sunseas24 · 23/09/2023 18:16

I had DC1 just before my 27th birthday & DC1 at 29.

My closest friend is 34 & is hoping to start TTC next year, I definitely feel there's been a shift in "average age" these last few years.

Certainly seems to be 30s as opposed to 20s.

I'm glad I had mine late 20s, We felt it was the best choice for us & we we're ready.

sunseas24 · 23/09/2023 18:17

*DC2

AM1994 · 23/09/2023 18:19

I was 25 & 27 when I had my two planned children and am the youngest of mums at school and usually in playgroups etc. have never felt any different to other mums or not made mum friends because of it :) I don’t consider myself a young mum either as I’m not really but not sure if others think it.

RecklessBlackberries · 23/09/2023 18:23

I wouldn't judge but I would be surprised. I don't know anyone who had children at that age, and I would say there wasn't anyone significantly younger than me (31 when he was born) at the baby classes and playgroups we've been to.

Strawberrycheesecake7 · 23/09/2023 18:24

I started ttc at 24 and just had my DS just after I turned 25. I know what you mean as I don’t know anyone my age with children and feel young. But I have a house and a degree. My DH is a few years older than me and we want quite a few children (3-4) so it makes sense for us to start now so we don’t have to be having children into our forties (nothing wrong with that we just don’t want to).

VanillaFlotilla · 23/09/2023 18:24

I agree that most women are closer to 30+ nowadays when they start having babies. I was 35, and I feel that's about average for most of the mums I know. So, if you're in your early- or mid-20s then yes, you will probably be among the youngest in your antenatal class etc. But that's not to say being older is better (or worse). Personally I'd say that being a older is generally easier financially but harder physically! Anyway - anyone who judges you or your partner for the decisions you make - or the circumstances you're in - regarding your own family's planning is a dick and therefore you can ignore them Smile