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Original poster

I'm scared to call the police- DV

23 replies

iimmy5647 · 23/09/2023 03:02

Husband went out tonight, very very drunk and I wonder about drugs, never normally violent ( has been before we had children) I was awake still when he was awake, as I have been feeling ill, my fault for trying to start a conversation as he wanted to sleep, as he got violent ( bruises on legs I and arms) woke the kids up, and still wouldn't stop, I may have also kicked up to get him off me, we are safe in a different room, he is asleep, i know I'm going to have to call the police but he is a ex officer so knows the drill, and reckons my word against his. I'm scared of everything atm

OP posts:

FlamingoFloss · 23/09/2023 03:09

Sending a hug x what he has done is not ok and will be taken seriously. Just because he’s an ex officer doesn’t mean his word against yours and plus you have bruises.
yes you are going to have to report this but you can get help and support to do this.
women can call The Freephone National Domestic Abuse Helpline, run by Refuge on 0808 2000 247 for free at any time, day or night.

jswnp · 23/09/2023 03:11

Agree with previous poster.

Please call the police, it should be taken very seriously.

If not then contact the people above.

Sending love x

Original poster

iimmy5647 · 23/09/2023 03:11

Thank you @FlamingoFloss I'm petrified, there has been a lot of emotional abuse too, I know for my girls sake I need to report but it's so scary

OP posts:

MrsAnon6 · 23/09/2023 03:14

I would call them now. As he's still there they'll be out quickly and he can be removed from the house tonight so you can have peace. I cannot stress enough how important it is you call them.

NeunundneunzigHorseBallonz · 23/09/2023 03:21

The police will definitely believe you. You have the bruises to prove it. You deserve to live without fear.. the sooner you do this, the sooner he can be tested for drugs as well. If they are still in his system, the police have more to work with.

Original poster

iimmy5647 · 23/09/2023 03:23

Thanks, I'm defo calling them in morning, he won't be up for ages, girls are asleep and I don't want anymore issue for them tonight. I'm terrified, house is my father in laws, I have started a new job in the nhs in the last 4 weeks, everything is gonna fall apart

OP posts:

FlamingoFloss · 23/09/2023 03:26

Please call the number I posted above. They are available 24/7 so you can even speak to someone now just to talk it through and help to calm you. They will all help you I promise xx

Original poster

iimmy5647 · 23/09/2023 03:50

Thank you, I feel Calmer now after just talking about it on here, still scared though but I do suffer with anxiety

OP posts:

Hibiscrubbed · 23/09/2023 04:27

A physically violent and emotionally abusive ex-copper? You do surprise me.

Yesnomaybeok · 23/09/2023 07:00

Do it for your children.

Artemi · 23/09/2023 07:13

Thinking of you and sending you courage and sisterly love

SaltedCaramelIcedLatte · 23/09/2023 07:17

Hope you got some rest and stay strong for your girls x

Rulesrules · 23/09/2023 07:20

I hope you're ok OP? Is he still sleeping? xx

Shadesofscarlett · 23/09/2023 07:24

how are you OP?

Original poster

iimmy5647 · 23/09/2023 07:30

I'm now awake, both kids still asleep, (we are in a small kids single all of us, as he wouldn't move in here, so I had to) I woke up and was like ahh shit it was a dream as am sore, haven't got up yet as I have a child using me as a pillow. I will add he has never taken drugs before but the way he was I have never seen it before, which is why I'm wondering what he had. Whether the hell he actually remembers what he did I don't know, I have the bruises to show for it I'm gonna ring the number @FlamingoFloss first and see what they say. Thank you all. I'm terrified but my girls are everything.

OP posts:

Comtesse · 23/09/2023 07:30

Oh love, this can’t go on. You don’t have to put up with it

Original poster

iimmy5647 · 23/09/2023 07:34

Just to add, my parents where violent towards each other growing up, they are still together somehow, I remember getting in the middle of them to stop them hurting each other. I won't let my children be like that. They will always come first.

OP posts:

Tortiemiaw · 23/09/2023 07:37

Stop talking about how you want to protect your kids and actually do something. The police are open now, you know
Phone them

Zimunya · 23/09/2023 07:40

Sending you a hug, OP. You are a good mum. Stay strong.

Mamma1982 · 23/09/2023 07:41

You are doing the right thing. You and your girls deserve a better life than this. It doesn't matter he's an ex officer, all police forces are much better at dealing with domestic abuse now (in all forms emotional, financial, physical) than they ever were previously. You don't have to be scared anymore. Also he may have not taken anything, other than alcohol. His level of aggression is inside of him, not caused by an outside influence, that just enhances it.

Call the police for you & your girls it's the best thing you can do. You don't want them to grow up thinking violence is acceptable. They will think that and will base their future relationships on what you think is acceptable to put up with yourself. You are so much stronger than you think. You can do this!!

ArseMenagerie · 23/09/2023 07:41

you don’t need to centre him on it all or wonder about him: has he done drugs, has he done this before, he is an ex copper, will he have control if you call the police? Etc
centre the kids - what is going to help them best in the next hours days and years? The answer to all of those is to phone for the police to help you and than if needed, woman’s aid. With every step you take to get the kids into a place of calm and safety the more you are showing them that THEY matter not that pig of a man.

Passepartoute · 23/09/2023 07:43

You need to call the police now. Not only do you have your bruises as evidence on your side, but they may be able to assess whether your husband has taken drugs - but only if they see him while they are still in his system.

TurqoiseJasper · 23/09/2023 12:15

Listen darling.
I called the police. You have to, you absolutely must.

They came, and my husband was escorted out of the house, at 11pm,. He actually asked them where was he supposed to go? The police laughed

I contacted the equivalent of woman's aid the following morning (local to me, I'm in Ireland) and the very next day I obtained a protection order, two weeks later a 3 year barring order. I was hysterical, thinking that my life as I knew it was over.

No job, on disability benefit, can't drive, financially controlled to the max. It will all work out! You can't see it, you don't believe it, BUT IT WILL. I'm still in my home, I've less money but so what, I'm free!!!
The only thing I'm pissed off about is that I didn't do it the VERY FIRST TIME it happened.

Do it for your daughters and do it for you. xxxxxx

Please,PLEASE do it.

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