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Original poster

Please help overly emotional child

7 replies

FrancisSeaton · 22/09/2023 22:55

I'm at my wits end with my son who is 7
For the record he's a lovely child who is good humoured and I love spending time with him. The trouble is he seems to have real difficulty moving on from things. He seems far more sensitive than other kids his age. Last day of term- he cries and this will continue a few days of the holidays. Start of new term he will cry for days. When Christmas was over he sobbed for days. We have been on a lovely little holiday where it's been all about him having a great time and he's cried himself to sleep tonight as it's hometime tommorow and he's had such a lovely time. It's starting to wear on me emotionally as well now and I'm not sure how to help him or what to do
Has anyone been in this situation? Thanks in advance

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 22/09/2023 23:04

I think the answer might be just accepting that that's what he's like. Don't make it an issue. He feels deeply and is comfortable expressing that. Recognise his feelings and offer comfort but don't make it your job to stop him crying.

I'd probably lean into a bit and talk about all the things that I've loved and will be sad to leave and then look forward to something else that will be happening. I'd hope he could join me in looking forward as well, but if not, no problem. He's free to feel how he feels.

Original poster
FrancisSeaton · 22/09/2023 23:10

NuffSaidSam · 22/09/2023 23:04

I think the answer might be just accepting that that's what he's like. Don't make it an issue. He feels deeply and is comfortable expressing that. Recognise his feelings and offer comfort but don't make it your job to stop him crying.

I'd probably lean into a bit and talk about all the things that I've loved and will be sad to leave and then look forward to something else that will be happening. I'd hope he could join me in looking forward as well, but if not, no problem. He's free to feel how he feels.

True
I do explain it's fine to feel sad and that I remember feeling the same when I was his age. I just hate to see people sad so sometimes just want them to not be sad particularly my kids.

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 22/09/2023 23:11

It's hard to see them sad, but being sad because something wonderful has come to an end is different to being sad because something awful has happened.

The alternative is you give him a dreadful holiday so he can't wait to get home. I think that would be worse!

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MidnightOnceMore · 22/09/2023 23:13

I just hate to see people sad so sometimes just want them to not be sad particularly my kids. Without meaning to sound harsh - you need to work on this, rather than trying to get him to repress his emotions. He'll grow through this phase but trying to change his behaviour because you dislike sadness could be very damaging.

Original poster
FrancisSeaton · 22/09/2023 23:22

NuffSaidSam · 22/09/2023 23:11

It's hard to see them sad, but being sad because something wonderful has come to an end is different to being sad because something awful has happened.

The alternative is you give him a dreadful holiday so he can't wait to get home. I think that would be worse!

Ha ha ha well I can certainly try that one!

It's weird isn't it really . I'd never want to stop anyone showing how happy they are. Sadness is just as valid and emotion as happiness but I hate seeing anyone sad

OP posts:
AskNotForWhomTheBellCurves · 23/09/2023 02:09

I was just like this as a kid and eventually I grew out of it on my own. In my case it was caused by a fixation on the past and a strong feeling of loss, almost grief, when good things were over and I felt they would never come back. Maybe it would help to (gently) steer him towards focusing more on the future by reminding him of any other nice things you have coming up, and also that this isn't the Last Holiday Ever, there'll be plenty more in the years to come. As it sounds like you can anticipate when the difficult transitions are coming up, have you tried planning some fun activities on those days? It doesn't have to be anything extravagant, just something to keep his mind on the present and remind him that there's also benefits to being at home.

For the most part though I think you just have to let him go through it for now. As he gets older he'll naturally come to appreciate that these things go in cycles and be less devastated when something nice comes to an end, but when you're 7 even a week feels like forever, never mind having to wait a whole year for it to come back round again!

MeinKraft · 23/09/2023 02:19

I was the same as a child OP and I still am! I get these strong feelings of loss and grief when holidays are over or Christmas is over. It's easier to deal with now because I have ways to manage it. Eg I can come home from holiday and just book another one. Or every Christmas I leave a single Christmas decoration up somewhere inconspicuous and it helps me to make the transition into the new year. When my dog died I left her collar and lead by the front door for a good year or two as though we were just going for a walk. It must be hard for a child though because they can't control their environment in that way hence the days of feeling desolate. But maybe try using small physical objects he can carry with him as comforting reminders of the good times.

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