What age would you let dc leave school alone?

[Pleaseme]

Twins so not alone, school out at 3:30 would need to walk 300yards up the road to a community centre for after school activity at 4:15. There is a cafe there so can buy hot chocolate/ ice cream. They are 9 so allowed to leave already. I’d give them a phone. They’d be collected after activity. Would you say they were too young?

My twins are newly 10 and I have just started letting them walk to and from the bus stop (about 200-300m) alone. I would know immediately if something had happened on either end, which offsets my fears! I know they really do need to start gaining some independence at this age, so even though it feels a bit scary for me as a parent, I’m trying to give some small autonomies like that when I can.

Definitely a quiet sort of village place. People are helpful and kind. I could ask another parent but these things are reciprocal and I can’t really do pick up anymore as work hours changing. Dc could get school bus home, as their Dad works from home but it’d mean dropping after school stuff and they are really keen and have been doing it for years.

I would, mine walked home earlier than that but we live round the corner from school and lots of other DC and/or parents are walking the same way. I'd presume that short a walk there will be others walking, including parents, I the same direction.

I'd definitely get them to drop a text or call when they arrive at the centre.

If they are sensible 9 year olds, then yes, absolutely. 9 is quite a good age to start doing things like this on their own/with a friend. Mine used to walk to the shop or park with friends at that age.

My eldest started doing that in year 5, which is when school let them leave without an adult. He was 9; he was fine.

If they've got a phone so they can let you know they've arrived/call if there's a problem then absolutely fine, as long as they are happy to do it. Tbh I wouldn't think twice at 9 years old.

To whoever said not before secondary school - secondary school don't just wave a magic wand over them and make them more independent. Independence is build over time with help from parents to determine how mature a child is and what they can manage by themselves. You can't just say no because you're in primary school but then crack on now, it's ok cos you're in secondary.

Y5 - he started to walk down the road to meet us, no main roads to cross etc.

Y6 - mixture of walking down the road and riding his bike to school when the weather was ok.

By y7, he'll have further to manage on his own to meet me after I finish work and jump in the car home with me.

It wouldn't exactly be responsible of me to never let him out alone until the day he starts secondary school and then expect him to just do it all alone from then on.

We waited until first year of seniors.

Yes I would, if you know they are reasonably sensible together. If they have a phone on them they can call you and if you put a tracking app on the phone you will know they got there. Or an airtag in their bags. Agree build independently gradually before high school!

Also, OP is in Scotland, secondary school is after p7. DC will be 11.5 to 12.5 before starting. That's a bit late to start being independent.

Would they know what to do if the cafe was closed or the activity was cancelled when they got there?

Do they never play outside without an adult? They should be more than capable of walking 300 yards alone

My DS is year 4, age 8.5, and he cycles to and from school on his own now. It's not far and no roads at all. He doesn't have a phone as I think that would give a false sense of security. We've had LOTS of "what if..." discussions and he is very sensible. In your scenario I would want to make sure that an adult at the after school activity was expecting them and would do something if they didn't arrive. It doesn't necessarily mean something terrible has happened but kids can get distracted, fall over and graze a knee, forget the plan etc.

DD was allowed to walk home at that age. I'd get the life 360 app to check they've got there.

I've only read your responses so that may be a repeat but I use it and it calms me a lot

They do have quite a lot of outdoor freedom but we are rural in a no neighbours sort of way. They are quite sensible but it’s a don’t go in the river/ stay away from the bee hives, don’t go up the climbing tree unless it’s dry. They take a walkie talkie just in case, it’s generally used to request emergency snacks though.

That is a good idea. Thanks

They always email/ text if activity cancelled so I’d ask school to put them on the bus instead. If it was some sort of emergency closure there is another cafe round the corner and I’d leave early to collect them.

I let DC from year 5 (age 9.5). One of only 2 parents in a year of 90 who did. No incidents whatsoever. 2 roads, 10 minutes.

I'm secretly a bit scornful of those who don't encourage independence in their children in a safe way. It's a vital skill.

My 8 year old gets about between home, school, after school, sports, friends' houses independently. She started travelling by herself when she was 7. It's not nearly such a big deal as people make of it in the UK.

Your 9 year olds can definitely handle this.

And I don't track her and she doesn't have a phone. She knows the places in our town where she can ask if she needs to call in an emergency, but she'd probably just come home if she needed to.

i think there would be less bickering if he was being bossy without any parents there
otherwise wait til year 6

As long as they have a plan in place for things like this, then I think it's fine :)

Now is fine with the two of them especially. I live somewhere with a middle school system. Most 9yos are walking to and from school, DD has a mobile with a location tracker and I set it to stay on but go to dnd during the school day. It's a 25 minute walk.

Yes this sounds sensible and absolutely fine.

Put a find my phone type app on and insist they call on arrival