Help me with my weird public speaking anxiety

[HerbalTeal]

So a bit of an odd one, I’ve developed this weird anxiety specifically on introducing myself in a group situation. I think I’ve always had it but it’s definitely got worse.

I think it’s the anticipation. My heart pounds, voice goes shaky, I can’t hide it.

For context I’ve given presentations to rooms with 100s of hostile people, delivered training to large groups but this is really affecting me now as you can’t change a first impression.

It happens in real life or on teams. On a call, I have claimed internet issues or ‘oops I pushed the wrong button’ in the past to give me a minute to breathe. It’s better if I can dictate the order, or go first. But when it’s that run round a group, the anticipation kills me till I can hardly breathe or hear. Bonkers eh?!

It’s there on similar things too - eg swearing on the bible in jury service. Go round and give an interesting fact about yourself. Argh!

Does anyone have any tips?? Or even suffer from this?!

Tiny bump. Although I’ve been reading previous threads and think beta blockers may be my answer.

Yes! I have this! It actually escalated into a weird form of social anxiety, which I now seem to have got over. I was in a really stressful job that I hated and I think the pressure from the job caused the start of it. I took beta blockers. I’ve now quit the job but I do feel it start to creep up if I even anticipate the potential for a ‘can we just go round introduce ourselves’ 😬🚨 I’ve kind of just shut my world down a bit smaller to try to avoid these situations. There was even a group yoga class when I was pregnant that a friend wanted me to go to and I could just feel that there would be some sort of introduction required (AT A YOGA CLASS) so I didn’t go 🤦🏻‍♀️ Beta blockers are good if it’s something you know that’s going to happen. There’s a baby class near me that requires an introduction and I still have leftover beta blockers from when I was on them so if I go to that I’m just going to have to go back to taking one every week before I go.
I posted on here before about it (in a different name) and a lot of people suggested having a line ready to say but it’s not the actual what time say panic, it’s more just physically not being able to get my words out and people being able to see that I’m bright red. I started using more fake tan/blusher so blushing maybe isn’t as obvious (if I do even go red - maybe I don’t) and I find having a very cold drink with me helps as I escalate into this panic, I can just take a quick drink and it kind of shocks me back into reality. I’d looked into so many things, some people wear elastic bands on their wrist to ping themself with to get them out of it too. Counting backwards from a difficult number also helps a bit too as your brain can’t focus on both things at once

I have had the same thing for years, even down to when it gets to my turn to order in a restaurant or when the taxi is about to get to my house, I suddenly am terrified to speak.
It can be a huge issue on training course etc, however I've run big team meetings and been ok so I've realised it's about things being out of my control. I've also found remote meetings are much easier as people are less aware of my physical reaction (heart racing, blushing, fight or flight response) and so actually covid has been really helpful for mine.

I have put mine down to my undiagnosed neurodivergence. I hate being the focus of attention and I hate being in busy rooms.
I don't have a magic answer but you have my empathy.

I mean lockdown and wfh rather than actually having covid!

I could’ve written this. Awaiting ASC diagnosis

I had this when younger at school, as soon as l saw the books out on desks in the English lesson l would start to feel panicky. The teacher just randomly picked different pupils to read out loud. I would sit there dreading it. My voice always shook and l hated it. Thankfully my job now doesn't involve these kinds of exercises.

@somethingsomething1 I have it with the restaurant thing too! Haven’t always had it but it was as if once my brain learned how to do it it would just set it off at minor things like that. I used to have to be rude and burst in with my order first to avoid it building 🤦🏼‍♀️

Happens to me. I'm just trying to work through it but I hate it. I find exposure is helping me and trying to relax as much as I can, focus on breathing and relaxing my hands and arms by my side. Positive thoughts.

It's awful, I do sympathise. I've heard others say they take beta blockers.

Yes this is me! It started in big work meetings then moved into smaller meetings, then onto things like ordering in restaurants or waiting my turn to speak in front of even a group of friends. I use propranolol now as I need to. Needs must.

I even started to get it when in a group (even if just a couple of people) and I went to tell a story about something that had happened or someone asked me a question that would obviously require a fairly long response from me. It was like a panic attack and I’d feel it grip me purely because I’d allowed myself to think ‘oh this would be a bad time for it to happen’ 🤦🏼‍♀️ I’ve stopped getting that now, just haven’t tested out the introduction to a big group thing to see if I still have that

I'm the same. I now take propranolol before workshops and larger meetings and presentations. It's saved my career.

Yep - loads of senior people I know take them. It's like an badly kept secret. People earlier on in their careers look up to senior people with awe and wonder how they don't get nervous. Senior people smugly say things like 'it's just practice - I enjoy it now'. It's all bullshit. They're all on beta blockers.

If you haven't already get two screens. Have your intro written out on the second screen so you just read it off.

In person it's slightly trickier though

It's definitely a common phenomenon as usually called "creeping death". I'm okay in groups now as just keep it short as realise no-one is really listening. So it becomes a detached list of facts I'm just reciting.

I completely get that vague panic attack feeling when suddenly realising you're telling a story to group. It's like overwhelming self-awareness. Horrible, not had it for a while but horrible.

How easy is it to get beta blockers?

Wow, thanks for all your responses - it’s good to know it’s not just me, and it’s such an odd thing I’ve not felt able to talk to anyone in real life! Interestingly I suspect I may be on the spectrum, but I’ve never pursued a diagnosis etc.

I'm also exactly the same in that it started with big meetings, and then crept into smaller ones, and now in utterly meaningless no pressure situations! I used to get the reading thing at school too, but if the teacher asked for volunteers to read I’d happily to it, it’s the anticipation that gets me 😫

I’ve been on pharmacy2u and attempted to order some propranolol - I’ll keep you posted if it goes through!

just thinking about it a bit more, it could be a bit of Pathological Demand Avoidance, in that the expectation on us to talk in these circumstances could be perceived as a demand on us, which might kick off a PDA reaction (common part of autism) whereas if we are in control of our contribution to the meeting etc, or if we volunteer to talk, then PDA wouldn't come into it.

@HerbalTeal Just wondered if you ever found anything to help with this. Did a search and it’s ridiculous because I had to check I hadn’t written your original post because it is exactly me! My mind is blown with having g the exact same thing with same circumstances. I had this years ago like 20 and have managed it on and off and it has started again. I have just had to get out of a big meeting now as just couldn’t bring myself to do the introductions. I’m gutted as this feels like a slippery slope. Any advice on anything that has helped you?

Hey @Stressheadmumma just found this, propranolol is what worked for me, dependent on meeting type! 10mg takes the edge off for meetings, 80mg for presenting on stage at massive conferences