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Original poster

Wwyd - child has cold - big family party

33 replies

smallshinybutton · 22/09/2023 06:59

Hi! What's the etiquette here? My LO (3) has a stinking cold and cough and we have a big family "once in a lifetime" anniversary party to go to tomorrow. Is it ok for us still to go or will we be social pariahs? There will be lots of other kids and elderly people.

OP posts:
Loopytiles · 22/09/2023 07:00

Is it local? If so could you get a sitter?

Original poster
smallshinybutton · 22/09/2023 07:01

Loopytiles · 22/09/2023 07:00

Is it local? If so could you get a sitter?

No we have to leave early tomorrow morning- it's the other side of the country.

OP posts:
Roselilly36 · 22/09/2023 07:01

What would you have done before 2020? Kids get colds, my two always had colds. Enjoy the party.

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Original poster
smallshinybutton · 22/09/2023 07:02

Roselilly36 · 22/09/2023 07:01

What would you have done before 2020? Kids get colds, my two always had colds. Enjoy the party.

I don't know I didn't have a kid before 2020

OP posts:
Winter42 · 22/09/2023 07:04

I would grab a covid test (Amazon prime or Tesco etc). I know there is no obligation to test but if there are vulnerable people there it is a good idea I think. It can be a lot nastier than a cold for some still.

To be honest though, if it was not COVID but a really heavy cold I would still not take them, just a sniffle and I probably would.

WildFeathers · 22/09/2023 07:04

We had this on the morning of a wedding. Our child was ok in himself but do wake up with a full on cold bug. We messaged the wedding party and explain the situation. We said that he was well enough for us to still come but equally wanted to check they wouldn’t rather we stayed away. They appreciated us checking and were happy for us to still go.

Original poster
smallshinybutton · 22/09/2023 07:06

Ok thank you. I'll grab a covid test today and message the hosts.

I think if we don't go there will be a massive fuss as its the first time the whole family will be together since precovid.

OP posts:
MrsHsGirl · 22/09/2023 07:07

I definitely agree re messaging the host - no one can say you've done the wrong thing then if you bring poorly LO/stay away

Original poster
smallshinybutton · 22/09/2023 07:13

Thanks all, most appreciated

OP posts:
MidnightOnceMore · 22/09/2023 07:13

What would you have done before 2020? This question makes no sense, times have changed.

WildFeathers · 22/09/2023 07:18

Also be sure that your child is actually well enough to go. Same child but different bug ended up getting croup when he’s was nearly old enough to be beyond usual croup getting age. If was the scariest moment of my life. I didn’t realise until then but croup is a usually a second illness that becomes an issue when the body is already weaken by a first bug. As it wasn’t our first child and because he was always happy to carry on when he was mildly unwell I often just carried on rather than resting him. I now know the value of rest for young children when unwell even if the bug is mild.

Original poster
smallshinybutton · 22/09/2023 07:20

MidnightOnceMore · 22/09/2023 07:13

What would you have done before 2020? This question makes no sense, times have changed.

Also I didn't have a child before 2020 so it's not helpful at all

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 22/09/2023 07:22

Would deffo message the hosts

rubyslippers · 22/09/2023 07:22

rubyslippers · 22/09/2023 07:22

Would deffo message the hosts

If you can’t all go could your partner etc regardless ?

IfYouDontAsk · 22/09/2023 07:24

Depending on whose side of the family it is, can either you or DH stay at home with poorly DC and the other one go to the party? That way your family is still ‘represented’ at the party.

A bit of a sniffle, I would go. A stinking cold, I would not.

WimpoleHat · 22/09/2023 07:31

I agree with asking the hosts - and maybe the wider family. Kids can bounce back very quickly with these things and she might be on the mend tomorrow. These things are tricky: if you don’t go, it looks like you can’t be bothered. If you do go - and great aunt Ethel ends up in hospital with the same thing - then all the “so selfish, should’ve stayed at home” comments come out. You really can’t win with this sort of thing! At least by asking the hosts, you can fall back on “Bob and Susan insisted we come/stayed at home because of Ethel” and you don’t take all the flak!

Original poster
smallshinybutton · 22/09/2023 07:33

Yes that's an option. DH could go in worst case scenario.

OP posts:
Wtfnowseptember · 22/09/2023 07:35

Just go. Do you still have a reclining pushchair? They can sleep tucked up in that.

Justrolledmyeyesoutloud · 22/09/2023 07:36

I would only not go if it was d & v or covid (if l even knew it was covid!)

Original poster
smallshinybutton · 22/09/2023 07:37

Wtfnowseptember · 22/09/2023 07:35

Just go. Do you still have a reclining pushchair? They can sleep tucked up in that.

They aren't really sleepy ill - they are snotty coughy but running around ill. But good shout might take that.

OP posts:
RichTeee · 22/09/2023 10:01

Covid is very much still about.
We had to cancel a family party tomorrow as my parents have it. I was with them all day earlier in the week and there would have been an extremely elderly person there.
It was the elderly person who cancelled it as they did not feel comfortable having anyone who had even mixed with the covid lot about.

I would test them just to be sure and also think if the vunerable people in the party caught a bad cold woukd they be able to recover. I know mone woukdnt so even without covid i wouldnt bring DC to visit when ill. Though mine is practically 100.

Positive41 · 22/09/2023 10:21

Please- if the child is sick, a party will be the last place he/she will want to be.

This covid/cold going round is brutal. I know- its had me out for the last week and i am a grown adult

INeedNewShoes · 22/09/2023 10:57

*Please- if the child is sick, a party will be the last place he/she will want to be.

This covid/cold going round is brutal. I know- its had me out for the last week and i am a grown adult*

DD had Covid. She was ill for less than 24 hours and was then genuinely absolutely fine. It isn't the case that grown adults fare better than children with everything.

OP, I'd agree with doing a Covid test just to be sure and if you're confident it's just a bog standard cold I would go.

Original poster
smallshinybutton · 22/09/2023 15:45

Ok so it's not covid. Wahoo!

Have messaged the host. Waiting to hear back and I'll see how things are tomorrow I guess

OP posts:
Bouncyball23 · 24/09/2023 17:03

Go to the party and take her with you poor kid will never get togo anywhere if she is kept in every time she has a cold.
Life doesn't stop for a cold!!!

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