Hello all,
Longtime (albeit, inconsistent) MN user, but using a different name.
I am not quite sure where to start with this one.
My 13 year marriage broke down towards the end of last year and we officially split not long after. In April, I started dating a new man, who I got on with very well.
However, as the love goggles are beginning to wear off, I am seeing things between us that I am not a fan of. For example, he's very tight with money when it comes to our relationship. Everything has to be split down the middle, but he doesn't help with grocery costs (which he also consumes when here at the weekend) or other bits and bobs. He's never paid for a dinner out etc.
He is also a bit lazy. He likes to watch TV when here. His sex drive doesn't match mine. His is much lower. I feel like I am cooking for him and behaving like a wife again. This is a bit triggering for me at the moment because I entered into my marriage when I had just turned 19. I was pregnant with our son when I was 16. Our DS is about to be 16 and I have no other DC. I have also lost over 11 stone over the past 18 months. I feel like I have a whole new lease of life and I want fun and adventure. Not to feel like a wife again so soon!
Anyway, DP is a marijuana smoker. He smokes it every night throughout the week. He didn't smoke it whilst with me at the weekend until recently.
For the reasons above (and more), I ended our relationship 2 weeks ago. He came to my place and told me how he felt we could work through the things I had explained was a problem. He believed that his weed smoking habits were impacting our relationship because I wouldn't hear from him very often or many hours would go by whilst he was getting lost in his video games and smoking. He told me he would forget to contact me or thought he already had. He didn't like this so said he was going to cut it out of his life and binned it.
This week, I have noticed communication has been very few and far between again, so asked whether he was smoking marijuana again. He said tonight that he had bought more.
I feel a bit let down. I know I never asked him to stop and I believe I should accept him just as he comes! I knew he did this a few weeks into our relationship, but hadn't realised the impact it would have.
I am not sure how to move forward. I am already so unsure about our relationship, but this made me feel like it was all just empty words to pull me back in, then once I was back in, he went back to his same habits and routine again.
Sorry this is so long. Navigating relationship's after a marriage breakdown has been so tricky. If anyone could offer some advice, I'd be so thankful. 