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Original poster

Feeling alone

17 replies

BloominFlower · 21/09/2023 18:13

I’m a single mum and recently I’ve noticed that I my life is essentially being a mum (nothing wrong with that) and work and that’s it, I barely am able to meet with friends anymore as either they’re busy or I am. DS, whilst he’s incredible and no bother, has a lot of anxiety so requires my attention a lot. I just don’t feel like I have anyone to talk to which makes me melancholy

OP posts:
Tiredbehyondbelief · 21/09/2023 18:17

This is a common theme among single mums. Can't you join an activity that both of you might enjoy ? Then hopefully both of you will make some friends

Original poster
BloominFlower · 21/09/2023 18:26

Thanks for the reply! We do do things together at the moment, although they’re more tailored to DS and so I don’t find I have another adult I can chat to. We live in a semi-rural area too so difficult to find an opportunity but perhaps I’m just making excuses up at this point

OP posts:
saltnsaucey · 21/09/2023 19:33

Maybe arrange a coffee morning or meetup at a play area / centre, so the mums can chat while the kids play?

Original poster
BloominFlower · 21/09/2023 19:38

He’s 13 so a bit too old haha

OP posts:
Datdamndamp · 21/09/2023 19:48

It's a difficult age. They don't necessarily want you along or to do things but you can't leave them alone either.

I've found a Saturday morning class to do, so that I'm back just as my child is stirring.

But yes, it is hard. I've never been able to do an activity or date or commit to friendships as I don't get enough childcare from ex (he moved a 6 hour drive away).

Tiredbehyondbelief · 22/09/2023 08:44

Have you looked into volunteering? You usually commit to 3 hours per week slot. A lot of charities do online support. It could be something as simple as phoning an elderly person on a weekly basis. I used to volunteer for 3 different charities. You get training, ongoing support and regular get together with other volunteers. Alternatively, why not enquire at your local charity shop? It's a great way to meet people. I am fairly confident you would be allowed to bring your child along.

Original poster
BloominFlower · 22/09/2023 10:38

Datdamndamp · 21/09/2023 19:48

It's a difficult age. They don't necessarily want you along or to do things but you can't leave them alone either.

I've found a Saturday morning class to do, so that I'm back just as my child is stirring.

But yes, it is hard. I've never been able to do an activity or date or commit to friendships as I don't get enough childcare from ex (he moved a 6 hour drive away).

Yes exactly, it can feel so emotionally exhausting at times being the sole responsibility.

OP posts:
Original poster
BloominFlower · 22/09/2023 10:38

Tiredbehyondbelief · 22/09/2023 08:44

Have you looked into volunteering? You usually commit to 3 hours per week slot. A lot of charities do online support. It could be something as simple as phoning an elderly person on a weekly basis. I used to volunteer for 3 different charities. You get training, ongoing support and regular get together with other volunteers. Alternatively, why not enquire at your local charity shop? It's a great way to meet people. I am fairly confident you would be allowed to bring your child along.

I haven’t thought about that but that could be a good idea, thank you! I’ll look into it

OP posts:
xogossipgirlxo · 22/09/2023 10:50

God, I can’t believe how many of us feel lonely and yet it’s so hard to make new friends. Loads of threads on mumsnet about loneliness, when you walk the street you feel like the only person in the world in this situation and probably many people you see are lonely too🫣 Sorry OP, no words of advice, as I am struggling with loneliness on maternity leave (and I can’t expect from working friends/acquintances to entertain me at the drop of the hat), but I wanted to tell you that there are people feeling the same as you do😢 hugs and hopefully things will be better for you

Bibsmum · 30/10/2023 13:28

I've been a single mum too, it's so lonely isn't it. When you see families doing stuff together, especially at weekends, it's so hard isn't it.

susanaa · 30/10/2023 13:29

I feel really similar too - happy to discuss with you. I work from home a lot so don’t even really get much social contact from work!

Bibsmum · 30/10/2023 13:34

I work from home too which doesn't help. Sometimes I can go all day without seeing anyone then it's not as if there's another adult walking in the door at 6pm, just me and the dcs, who Iove to bits but it's just not same!

Bibsmum · 30/10/2023 14:02

@susanaa I think it feels worse on the run up to Christmas and occasions like Halloween etc when you see all the families out together and there's just me and dcs. I'm obviously not the only one who feels this way and I do take some comfort in that.

Original poster
BloominFlower · 30/10/2023 16:58

Thank you both for sharing ❤️😊

OP posts:
Bibsmum · 30/10/2023 17:27

@BloominFlower you are welcome, seems like there's a lot of us in the same position. We should start a club!

BerfyTigot · 30/10/2023 23:18

Have you tried your local brass band?
I had no intention of joining but my son had seen an ad in the paper, so we went along.

There were a mix of adult learners and kids. And we had several happy years when all 3 of my teens and I did it.

BerfyTigot · 30/10/2023 23:19

Also it's usually pretty cheap- £1 per person per week which included instrument hire.

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