How can each individual improve the feeling of “society is a bit shit right now”?

[Limmers14]

I was reading the thread about how people are acting more aggressively and stressed and this has become very evident in the past year along likely caused by a feeling that British society generally, is deteriorating in many ways.

I’d like to try and bring back a feeling of pride in my local area and I thought this could be a thread to share ideas, where to source things, how to fix things - even if they’re just small things. We have to start somewhere.

For example, the street sign on my road is broken. I’ve reported it to the Council many times but it hasn’t been fixed. Where can I get a street sign? I also think planting loads of crocuses in my area on the verges would be nice. Where’s the best place to bulk buy and plant en masse? Things like that. I’d love to hear your ideas.

I’m sure people will come for me and say they have bigger issues than crocuses and yeah, you’re probably right, but if we all try to bring a little light into society, maybe areas will improve and our communities will be happier, leading to more positive outcomes for everyone. (That and voting the Conservatives out next year, obvs)

You would like to think so, but the point of the thread is that this kind of everyday civilisation seems to be disappearing.

You can often buy big bags of daffodil bulbs for about £5 from places like Aldi, Home Bargains.
It's a lovely idea, when I have volunteered in local parks in the past lots of people stop to chat, which is also lovely.

How about posting something which doesn’t demonise the choices of at least half the population ( at least according to the last general election). Or does your desire to improve ‘society ‘ only extend to people who agree with your political views?

As Camus would say ‘ if you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem’.

Not quite everday, but if you're buying a car get one a sensible size for your needs not a pumped up horror. More everyday: don't park on pavements or take up the box reserved for cyclists at traffic lights.

I bought one of those litter picker things from Amazon a while back and have only been out once...

This thread has inspired me to get out for at least an hour later today as I'm off work. Dog will enjoy it too. Will report back later to keep myself committed.

I totally agree with the posters above who highlight that there is so much work that volunteers do .. but is not recognised and assumed that 'the council/government' provide this sort of thing. And also, please don't complain about what volunteers do unless you are prepared to get involved yourself.

I am fortunate to live in a community where there is a huge amount of goodwill and support .. most things are available - from help with shopping, IT support, odd jobs, free food via 'Community Pantry', Food Bank for those who need it (no questions asked), numerous grants towards fuel bills, school uniform, Swap Shops, Free Cycle, Litter Picks, community gardeners, Youth Clubs (many free), old folks lunches, commute transport etc etc yet people still complain!!

Lovely idea for a thread. I do some bad things (eg posting in anger on MN) but I do try to do small good things IRL, and of course these benefit ME as much as any of the recipients of my actions. Being kind makes me feel soooo much calmer, relaxed, positive.

I always try to smile at shop staff and thank them. If the situation makes it natural to do so I catch their eye briefly while I am smiling/thanking. But I don't press that to the point of artificiality because that would just place an additional burden on them - to perform politeness, etc.
I also try to be especially polite and appreciative to any phone-answering staff in jobs where they might get a lot of hasstle, eg doctor's receptionists.

If any staff member in a shop or on the phone or anywhere has to give me a frustrating response I always thank them anyway for trying to help.

The other day I got a cappuchino in some cafe in an indoor shopping mall where the staff spend whole days in this horrible fake plastic environment with no glimpse of the world outside.
The guy serving me did a really nice one of those little swirly images in th top of the coffee foam. I remember looking down at it and spontaneously saying to him how pretty it was. I also vividly remember his smiling face when I caught his eye whilst making the remark and thanking him. It certainly makes me feel better to think of it. I hope it madeone tiny part of his day a bit better too.

Tiny things in an increasingly unbearable world.

I should do more in the village where I live, but honestly there are so many people here trying to do their bit in various ways that the best way I could help would be by sneaking out to distribute litter so that the litter pickers in the village would be guaranteed to get their little buzz from helping us all.

I did give a blackbird nest that had falled from my tree to a local children's nature group. And I once left a garden gnome outside the house of a neighbour whose child had admired it in our garden, hoping that the child would get a kick from imagining that it had made its own way to live with her.

I volunteer as a parish councilor. Apart from planning and fending off predatory developers, we organise for footpaths to be kept clear, street lights & stiles to be mended, petition the county for traffic calming measures and adjustments to parking outside schools etc. We ensure ditches on our patch are cleared so the roads don't flood.

We run the emergency winter food & heat plan. Manage the community bus and the village halls. Secure funds for the weekly family centre. Liaise with police, neighbourhood watch etc.

And I do a quarterly litter pick along my regular running route. It doesn't take much time. Maybe 5 hours a month for the council, plus most of a Sunday litter picking, four times a year.

goodoldemmaness people may think that in our town we also get a buzz from picking up litter but actually I saw others doing it which at first annoyed me because I thought of the various volunteering that was already replacing/filling in the gaps and here was another, meaning the council would employ fewer refuse workers (specifically the litter pickers). However with cutbacks they were already only seen maybe one fine day a year while bins were overflowing and a real attraction to wildlife. Since joining in I now only pick up the odd thing and rarely see anyone having to pick up rubbish.

Aggression breeds aggression and a smile attracts another smile.

I get what you're saying @woush. You can condemn and action and be understanding too. It depends on the situation and whether the person is remorseful for their past behaviour.

Enjoying the suggestions here!

It would be good to plant the bee friendly Crocus.
We help at a dog rescue local to us.
We have lots of bird feeders and a wildlife pond in our garden.
I think manners need to come back in fashion, people have got too impatient in queues etc.

Get a local group together for a litter pick.
You start it, put it on a Facebook group and see who joins in. It's a great community builder.
Do a shop for the elderly rota, help out for those who need help with chores where people give half an hour to do a quick job for someone in need.
Community car wash

All the back gardens on our block of houses back onto a small field/ patch of waste ground. It's currently completely overgrown and full of rubbish, but if it was sorted out could make a lovely playing field.

How would I go about making this happen? Is it as simple as just going out and doing it or would I need council permission?

A lovely elderly neighbour of mine goes for a walk every morning and does a litter pick all round the playground and playing field at the end of our road.

I drive through a small village on my commute, and they currently have a big sign up advertising their "KEEP (village name) TIDY WEEK", encouraging everyone to do their bit to make the village nicer.

There's also a Good Neighbour group in our town run by volunteers, where people can ask for assistance with gardening, lifts to medical appointments, assembling flat-pack furniture, stuff like that, and are matched up with their bank of volunteer helpers, who are all DBS checked.

Is that the sort of thing you mean, OP?

We live in a National Park and when a local group proposed some daffodil bulb planting on verges around the village, the National Park authority (or maybe the local council, I forget which body) told us firmly that this was not allowed. We would have to buy some kind of (very expensive) permit, seek permissions and demonstrate that native species would be used. Somebody got bolshy and said “well I’ll just go out there at night and shove some bulbs in the ground.” She didn’t, and everyone just lost heart anyway.

But on the whole our village is good at this stuff. We have a group of volunteers who drive people to hospital appointments, do shopping/dog walking for the sick/elderly etc. There’s an annual ‘village tidy up’ which includes litter picking, cleaning signs, painting lamp posts and so on. And there’s another group who meet weekly and look after all the public footpaths; cutting back overgrown vegetation and repairing styles.

I recently paid for a local chainsaw artist to carve a dead tree trunk that’s on the edge of my land, but also on the verge of a public footpath, into a piece of art - carved owls, hedgehogs and flowers. It puts a smile on the faces of people walking past. At first Dh was appalled - “You’ve spent what doing what?!” But then he kept getting stopped in the street by people thanking him for doing it. He’d bluster about it being nothing to do with him but quietly changed his mind about it and now admits it was a nice thing to do.

@Sprogonthetyne I’d take the ‘ask for forgiveness instead of permission’ route 😁 at least to begin with. And if you slowly start clearing it you may see others joining in too.

I always smile and say hello to the elderly when I'm out and about. I rarely react to people lane changing or cutting me up, I always thank other drivers and let them out if a junction whenever I can. At work I always welcome new staff to our team and try to help them feel at home. None of it costs me anything.

@Limmers14 - the village where I live has a group of volunteers who go out and litter-pick, and another one that plants things like crocuses and also bushes etc around the village, and then takes care of the areas they plant.

Does your area have a FB group, or could you start one, and see if there is any interest in something similar where you are?

I don't go out much (mobility issues) but when I do, I make a point of being friendly to the people I meet - I chat to the staff in shops or cafes, and compliment people.

I think it would be good to see a return to the Victorian idea of the wealthy having a moral obligation to invest in public buildings and funding. Eg in the area I grew up, every old school, hospital, library, town hall had foundation stones with plaques on declaring ‘this building erected for the community by Ebenezer Mill Owner in 1867’

Instead of the yachts and private jets that today’s super rich indulge in.

@Poppingoutnow apologies if it came across as if i was having a little dig at volunteer litterpickers. I didn't mean to give that impression. I admire them and am very grateful to them. I was just trying to be mildly humerous about the gentle loveliness in my village, where so many people are trying to do good.

And re the worry that you used to have, that volunteers were simply facilitating councils' decisions to cut back on basic services such as litterpicking, I too used to have those worries. I still feel uncomfortable about it, but I guess the reality is that we have gone beyond that, now, with all the stories of councils going bust, etc.
Councils are now in the position of having to choose which basic services they are continuing to provide. And I guess that many of the services where volunteers are now filling the gaps are those where we can better tolerate the absence of council provision - compared with the most vital services such as provisions for children at risk etc. So I should feel more and more willing to contribute volunteer activity.

Perhaps as a dog walker I should do targetted litter picks of the bagged-up dog poo that so many other dog walkers seem shamefully to leave behind. I suppose many volunteer litterpickers not unreasonably decide this is too unhygenic and hazardous to include in their litterpick without special precautions. There certainly seems scope for targetted volunteer action of this sort.

There's an older couple near me who make a little scene in their front garden that they change up every couple of months.

I'll take a photo next time I go past...it's very eccentric but the kids love it and I have to admit I'm always delighted when I see that the scene has changed so I can stop and see what they've done with it!

I don't think it costs them a lot of money as they use a lot of bits that I imagine they got from charity shops.

This summer they did an English beach theme with beach huts and seagulls (and then the various characters/toys having picnics or sunbathing with little knotted handkerchiefs on their heads)

I would not be good at things like litter picking. Smiling and thanking people.

If you are dealing with a helpline (I work on one) please understand that I have to ask if you will provide feedback and other questions. I’m absolutely happy for you to say no, but a rant is harder.

I think local newspapers where they still exist can be quite good because they have stories of the good things as well as bad.

You could start off with a neighbourhood whatsapp group. Somebody made a community book swap/library type thing and put it in their front garden.

One thing that works really well in our community is that someone set up a 'Village Pay It Forward' Facebook group.

It's set up like a normal 'selling' page but it's for people to give things away for free.

We're a (large) village of 4,000 and almost 50% of the village are on it so I think that's probably most households.

When it was set up I was a bit sceptical that people would give things away for free when they have the option to sell them but that was unfounded.

It helps people (especially on lower incomes), it build community spirit and it helps the environment.

You often see things like children's toys or baby gates that are coming back to the page for their fourth or fifth owner!

I've attached pics of the 'about' and 'rules' in case anyone likes the idea and wants to set one up...