General public and the rise in aggressive behaviour towards people just doing a job - DH job as an example

[Picklemeyellow]

My dh has been working in the same job for over 30 years.

He is a road engineer and although he very much enjoys the job and has a great relationship with his colleagues he is finding the general public to be a complete pain in the arse.

He says the aggression towards them is becoming an almost daily occurrence. This never happened years ago and he says he has seen this steadily rising over the last 5+ years or so.

It is becoming such a problem that the company he works for is offering the employees who work on the road, the use of body cameras. They also attend regular safety training and learn how to diffuse confrontational situations.

Road closures appear to cause the biggest rise in aggression. These closures are planned in advanced and in most cases the local residents will have been notified via letter etc. It goes without saying these closures are done so to protect the public from harm, there could be exposed electrical cables and large holes left in the road etc.

However, there are always the few who will truly believe they are above the rules and regulations and feel they should be ‘let through just this once’ and when these people realise the rules can not be bent just for them they often go ballistic - shouting and swearing is the most common (they are often being called Fucking Cunts and Arseholes).

One guy went crazy, ran back to his car, produced his lunch box and proceeded to hurl his sandwich, sausage rolls and chocolate bar at them (what a knob!).

Another work colleague once had a bottle of urine thrown at him!

The best one was a woman who announced that she was going to drive through the road closure regardless of the fact DH had told her there was a massive hole in the road further down and she would absolutely not be able to get through. She totally ignored him, drove past him whilst swearing and muttering. She arrived at said hole and realising DH was in fact correct and she would not be able to get through she proceeded to drive up the adjacent grass embankment, failing to see the ditch on the other side, she drove straight down into the ditch ending up with her car on its side - what an absolute idiot.

They are the lighthearted stories though, what happens when it turns violent?

I just don’t understand why people are like this now. We hear constant stories of supermarket workers being verbally abused to the point they are also being offered body cameras.

People are just doing a job, trying to earn a living, they do not deserve to be abused whilst doing so.

I am 50 years old and worked many years in customer service but never have I recalled supermarket staff being abused at the rate they are now and I dare say the same goes for many areas of the public facing workforce.

What is happening to society, I personally find it concerning?

I work in the veterinary industry and the abuse we get daily is unreal. On Saturday I had the first 4 clients shout, complain, refuse to pay and reduce one of the other staff members to tears . We have had to call the police to get a client removed in the past!

Working in A&E is even worse.

I worked with a search & rescue team for a decade. We were attacked when searching for a missing three year old, by people lobbing bricks at us off the walkway of a block of flats while we searched bushes drains and undergrowth.

Certain areas, that wasn't unusual. It was potentially lethal. I despair of some people.

Sadly it’s a growing minority. I work in a primary school and you’d be shell shocked at the abuse we receive on a daily basis and people do it in front of their kids!

My dad retired early from his bus driving job due to how awful the passengers had become. We don't live in a city so never previously had large amounts of crime.
Now there's knives being carried, drivers being threatened and spat at daily, thefts, sexual assaults, police regularly having to stop buses en route due to safety issues for those on board.

2 of his colleagues dropped dead of heart attacks in the bus station after confrontations with some of these arseholes and my dad didn't want to be the next.

So many people just seem feral these days.

I was assaulted twice during the covid rules. Hit once and pushed so hard I ended up with a huge bruise on my side. And that's just the physical stuff - I was shouted at, sworn at, called names and more. It all seems to have escalated since then.

But why are so many people like this now though?

There appears to be a current lack of respect for fellow human beings.

There is no excuse in my mind, we all have personal shit and heartache to deal with, I just can not imagine shouting, screaming and swearing at people just doing a job.

DH says it’s all people from all walks of life too - young/old, men and women. Not from any particular sub-section of society.

There is not the consequences, police don't act enough, and I think in many instances companies are not supportive, retailers especially.

I also think that there is a lot of anger from the way the pandemic was handled and the cost of living crisis, which is taken out on frontline workers.

We're deploying bodyworn CCTV at my work too (public service industry) just to try and deter the verbal abuse and threats of physical abuse. It's quite sad and shocking it's come to this. Most folk can go about their business being perfectly nice.
Someone told me there is a Council giving all their bin-men a personal camera because of the grief they get just emptying the bins.
"Clap for Carers" was not that long ago.

There really are no words MintJulia, that is simply horrendous.
PissedOffNeighbour22 gosh, that’s so sad.
QuestionableMouse I’m sorry you went through that, are you still doing the job? Do you still enjoy it?

My friend works in a school and there a number of parents barred from the school grounds
due to abusive and threatening behaviour

I think people are much more stressed.

So many are overcrowded, financially strained, struggling to cope while watching 'footballers wives' lifestyles on tv & sm, resentment is growing.

The slightest little thing can then set them off. I've retreated to a leafy, rural backwater where things are quieter, less stressed, more normal. I'll not live in a town again.

I truly despair.

In theatres and cinemas too - people behaving badly and being abusive to other audience members and staff if asked to follow the rules. Definitely a rise in antisocial, selfish attitudes!

MintJulia we live rurally, most of the abuse dh receives is weirdly on quiet country lanes!

UsedToBePoisonIvy we had this during our last cinema visit. There was a family of around 5 and they would not shut up, a man politely asked them to be quiet and he was showered with abuse. No one else dared to say anything. It was bloody annoying but because of their aggressiveness they got away with their appalling behaviour. It’s like a form of social bullying.

Then I don't know what to suggest.

We were issued with body cameras, and trained in calming people down and self defence but it got too dangerous for me and I stopped. Ten years was enough.

Yes, completely agree. I was waiting to see a doctor in our medical centre yesterday and two men in their 60s / 70s were extremely rude, borderline aggressive, with the young female receptionist when they did not get exactly what they wanted. One of the two followed up his comments by walking out, the second was appeased somewhat by whatever he was subsequently offered. I was appalled and to be honest, would have asked them why they were being so rude if they had continued.

I'm not excusing this behaviour. However I am by nature easy going and non confrontational. But even I find at times the daily grind and daily frustrations hard to cope with and it spills over. Everything is fast paced, hard to cope with, hard to navigate. Even buying a parking ticket sometimes is a challenge , getting a Dr's appointment, talking to customer service, doing anything is hard and then work pace is so grinding and hard, managing information from school, getting back to collect from child care. Many people are frazzled. And no its not ok to behave badly but I don't think modern life helps.

If someone had thrown urine over me they would get punched. Hard . That would take me over the line .

@MintJulia

...So many are overcrowded...

This is it on a nutshell really. I'm not condoning people having a go at roadworkers but I can see why it happens if we use that as an example.

Roads are crowded as it is thanks to overpopulation, poor infrastructure and draconian traffic management; they get dug up for months on end, contraflows, overnight closures etc, yet there only ever seems to be 4 blokes sitting in a van doing nothing on a 3 mile stretch.

Everything seems to take ages now. Everything. And people will snap, unfortunately.

I worked on the reception desk of a charity. Obviously giving our counselling services for free and not dependent on donations from the public (we relied on grants for funding). The sense of entitlement from some people was incredible.

No I don't have an infinite number of counsellors
No I'm not trained to counsel.
No that isn't our remit (some funding streams were very specific with regards to what we could do).
No, shouting louder isn't going to get you a faster service . These people were here first.
Being aggressive will get you nowhere except being asked to go elsewhere.

This.

Not against someone doing their job but I witnessed a road rage incident today where a driver got out of his car and threatened a pedestrian, screaming at them that they were a 'cunt' and a 'nonce' and threatening to fight them. There was some dispute over who had right of way crossing the road (temporary lights in place). Shocked pedestrian was protesting mildly. Small children nearby in full earshot of driver's foul language. Terrible behaviour.

But it doesn't matter how frustrated, angry, stressed, tired or anything I am, I don't take it out on staff anywhere. None of those things are excuses to be vile to people doing a job. I'm an assertive person and I'm able to tell someone I'm dissatisfied without resorting to shouting, swearing and being aggressive. I've been on the receiving end of it at work and it's horrible.