Why am I so angry all the time?

[Yesnomaybeok]

I find I'm getting increasingly angry at the world and I don't know how to solve it. I don't want medication and absolutely do not want counselling.

I would say I'm a bit stressed but no majorly so (work related stuff), a bit depressed but not majorly so (loneliness related) but in reality I am ok really. A bit worried about money but better off than some.

It's usually about such minor things e.g. drivers not thanking me for letting them out, neighbours parking inconsiderately, rain when I've got the washing out, the dog barking etc etc.

What do I do?

Peri-menopause?

How old are you? I got irrationally furious at things once perimenopause hit in my mid-40s. HRT has been a major game-changer and I feel like my normal chilled out self again since I started taking it.

I was going to say 'menopause' too..how old are you?

At one point, everyone only had 2 faults, 1)everything they did
2) everything they said

I'm on HRT already and have been for a few years.

To be fair, people are very inconsiderate these days. I am often muttering under my breath. I take the Tube and the number of people listening to loud music without headphones, swearing loudly, not giving seats to pregnant ladies or the elderly.... Grrr..

I think I have just run out of patience.

Why so opposed to counselling? It's very useful to understand what's going on.

You could be angry for any number of reasons - unhappy with your life, frustration about something specific, hormones, underlying illness, depression getting deeper.

Counselling would potentially help with the depression too.

Perhaps you’re right and you don’t need medication or counselling. The way things are going in our country, it feels perfectly healthy to be angry about some things. Your example of people not having manners - it makes people feel they don’t matter. I loathe the way it has become so so much about individualism and not community.

Can you get to the source of your anger (open up to friend who is good listener, journal, give yourself weekend away to ponder?) then direct your anger into making a difference to whatever is most important to you. I know it’s not the whole solution, but it might give you some agency?

You might need to up your dose OP. But also, I do think people have become less considerate in recent times. There is SO MUCH bad driving nowadays, it really shocks me. I drive approx 200 miles a week and it's rare that a week goes by when I don't see an example of appalling, dangerous or just inconsiderate driving. I'm thinking of fitting a dashcam actually so I can hand over the footage to the police.

I made one day a week 'treat-day' - whatever cheers you up, special chocolate or going for a run at lunchtime or turning your phone off and soaking in a warm scented bath, but make it your time. A ring-fenced time to unload all the irritation, the phone is off, someone else is looking after the DCs and people know to just leave you alone. And relax ! 😊

Well, if you're not interested in medication or counselling I am not sure what to suggest. counselling might help you get to the bottom of it. Medication might help you to manage it better.

For me, I find small things irrationally enrage me when I am feeling frustrated and resentful in other parts of my life. It's like a referred pain response - I'm angry at that work situation but taking it out elsewhere.

Incidentally, your examples are largely about people (and nature?) being inconsiderate. So maybe you feel like you are ignored/not seen generally and it's infuriating you.

World is shit, no wonder you’re angry

but… it’s likely it won’t end well, anger cannot be managed once it’s within you (I had a huge problem with that)

meditation , positive thoughts , learn to ignore and focus on something that makes you really really happy; perhaps have a goal on how to get it

'Can you get to the source of your anger (open up to friend who is good listener, journal, give yourself weekend away to ponder?'

I think this is really key. Where do you feel your anger is coming from? It sounds like your anger is being triggered regularly, but what is the source of that anger?

I'm curious about why you're so adamantly against counselling. I used to stomp about on the edge of rage all the time, there were sound emotional reasons for it, but it was horrible. I saw a therapist for a long time and I am WAY more balanced and kinder to myself these days. I'm still angry but about specific things and my responses are more proportionate

Loads of sympathy for you by the way. It's exhausting and unsettling when you feel angry all the time

It is menopausal rage, and it is shit, I know.

Maybe enrol in some yoga or meditation classes, to see if a bit of zen calm helps you to manage your mood swings.

Peri menopausal? I had the absolute rage- which was my main reason for wanting HRT. I’m 42.

I don't want counselling because it makes me irrationally angry 🤣. I loath over analysis of everything. I've had counselling for work stress a couple of times in the past and found it no help whatsoever and actually made me worse. Medication wise, I've been there and done it for depression and having tried 2 different kinds I can safely say it did very little for me even when dose was upped.

Source of anger - loneliness maybe, society going to shit, people being utterly self involved, no money. Not just that though but I don't know what else. It's like I've lost patience with life.

Human contract helps
Good partner at home
Kids
Good friend or two

Anyone even if it's via WhatsApp but it's more fun in person who can lift your spirits, basically put things in perspective.

Almost every driver deals with inconsiderate parking and not being thanked. Who hasn't had almost dry washing only for the forecast to fail to mention the heavy rain back to square, well not one but it might as well be.

If you get angry you are in the end only hurting yourself. It's only your body the rage hormones are flowing through.

I think I gave up on the human race as a whole when everyone was squabbling over toilet roll at the beginning of the pandemic. But hey never mind I am not going to add to the problem.

So yeah some people are going to be arseholes. Sometimes the rain is going to fall. No biggie in the grand scheme of things.

Message a friend.

I recommend herbal tea, chamomile for day, valerian for night, they calm the mind and the latter helps you sleep. Yes I know you want to punch me right now, keep reading. Plenty of water and vegetables because your body and brain needs nutrients that can't be found in cake. Journalling about whatever is annoying you to get it out of your head. Meditation in the evening, yoga in the morning to help with any aches and pains. Or switch that if you're not a morning person, both will help you calm your mind and body. A walk (probably alone is best for you) every afternoon or evening, even if the weather is shite and your town is boring and it's the last thing you feel like doing. Read a chapter of a novel before bed, reading calms the mind. Swimming once or twice a week during a swimming lanes session so there's no splashing, shouting kids.

This is really interesting because I feel exactly the same! I have spent the last few days just wanting to scream with rage. I am 42 and pretty sure I’m perimenopausal. The state of the world and just everyone being dicks isn’t helping nor is child related lack of sleep but I feel like it is more than that. HRT here I come perhaps…

That said, it does seem like a lot of people are angry right now. Even on here a lot of people seem to just want to have a go, much more than previously.