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Original poster

I need to be in 2 places

31 replies

Anotherdayanotherfuckup · 19/09/2023 22:29

I have a problem.

So DS who's 16 has had alot of issues . Which lead to him trying to end his life, and domestic violence towards me, and his sister on a lower level. He's been diagnosed with emotional disregulation.

His psychologist has arranged for me to go to a group that helps support parents and give better understanding of people with emotional disregulation it was arranged a while back and tomorrow is the first session.

The problem is I ( think) dd may have broken her hand. It does look a bit swollen but she has cried wolf a few times so I left it thinking she will start using it. When she does something she enjoys .

Obviously I have to take her to the hospital. But im not sure if she is pissing about . A nurse at hospital did tell me that if she's holding her hand in the same position it can be come painful and stiff. And look abit swollen. So I'm mlt sure if that the case now. (This was a different occasion)

The group I'm meant to be going to is quite important.

OP posts:
Peppermint81 · 19/09/2023 22:31

Take her to hospital now and then go to group tomorrow?

LizzysDrippings · 19/09/2023 22:31

Take her to the hospital tonight, or after the session?

theduchessofspork · 19/09/2023 22:33

Take her before or after the group

RoseAndRose · 19/09/2023 22:34

What time is the appointment for the support group?

Surely you can fit in a trip to A&E or a minor injuries clinic (depending on what the set up is in your area) outside those times? Possibly even this evening, depending on your logistics.

Original poster
Anotherdayanotherfuckup · 19/09/2023 23:06

Peppermint81 · 19/09/2023 22:31

Take her to hospital now and then go to group tomorrow?

I can't I have 2 other children with me. One is autistic and won't cope . Sitting in the hospital for hours

OP posts:
Original poster
Anotherdayanotherfuckup · 19/09/2023 23:08

LizzysDrippings · 19/09/2023 22:31

Take her to the hospital tonight, or after the session?

I can't tonight. I have 2 other children here one has autism and won't cope
After the session then I'm stuck for the afternoon school run. There's no one to help out

OP posts:
Original poster
Anotherdayanotherfuckup · 19/09/2023 23:11

RoseAndRose · 19/09/2023 22:34

What time is the appointment for the support group?

Surely you can fit in a trip to A&E or a minor injuries clinic (depending on what the set up is in your area) outside those times? Possibly even this evening, depending on your logistics.

It's 10-12. Waiting time could be 4-6 hours. I then can't pick my other 2 children up from school

OP posts:
RoseAndRose · 19/09/2023 23:38

Anotherdayanotherfuckup · 19/09/2023 23:11

It's 10-12. Waiting time could be 4-6 hours. I then can't pick my other 2 children up from school

Show quote history

Who's the emergency contact for school?

I'd activate that - not exactly an emergency but important an exceptional circumstances out of your control - so you take DD to A&E as soon as you've finished with the support group, and if you are still waiting, then your emergency contact does the school pick up and looks after DC until you are back.

melmonroe · 20/09/2023 00:21

Not everyone has someone who could help out @RoseAndRose I wouldn't have anyone that could pick mine up and look after them.

OP can you speak to your GP in the am, ours will send you up for an x ray, sometimes a little wait as you have to slot in but never more than an hour or so.

determinedtomakethiswork · 20/09/2023 00:22

You poor thing, that sounds really difficult. Does your daughter have a history of crying wolf?

determinedtomakethiswork · 20/09/2023 00:22

So sorry, I've just seen you said that she did.

ThePoint678 · 20/09/2023 01:44

How old is DD? Can you take her after the meeting then if time is dragging on leave her to get the other two from school and bring them back to meet her again? Or is she too young for that?

If so, I’d wait, collect everyone from school then take her to the hospital/doctor.

frozendaisy · 20/09/2023 01:54

Would anyone sit in the hospital with her? Even if you have to.pay them for the 2-3 hours you need to be at meeting?

Original poster
Anotherdayanotherfuckup · 20/09/2023 06:50

frozendaisy · 20/09/2023 01:54

Would anyone sit in the hospital with her? Even if you have to.pay them for the 2-3 hours you need to be at meeting?

No I don't have anyone

OP posts:
INeedNewShoes · 20/09/2023 07:09

How old is your DD?

Do you have any neighbours you could ask for help?

Do your other kids' schools have any wraparound/after school clubs?

If your DS goes to a special school could you ask if any of the staff would be willing to stay with him while you take DD to hospital?

Original poster
Anotherdayanotherfuckup · 20/09/2023 07:15

INeedNewShoes · 20/09/2023 07:09

How old is your DD?

Do you have any neighbours you could ask for help?

Do your other kids' schools have any wraparound/after school clubs?

If your DS goes to a special school could you ask if any of the staff would be willing to stay with him while you take DD to hospital?

Shes 13.

I don't know my neighbours well at all.

School have after school club but i don't have the money for that.

Ds is not in special needs school

OP posts:
Dacadactyl · 20/09/2023 07:21

In your shoes I'd be prioritising the emotional dysregulation meeting. Like, moving heaven and earth to attend that over a&e.

Are you on any parental WhatsApp groups for the younger kids? Ask on there if anyone can have them for a couple of hours.

If not that, then take DD to the GP during school hours for the hand. Tell GP the situation and see if hand is actually broken first. If hand broken then go from there. At 13 DD is able to get to A&E on her own or be dropped off altho this would be absolute last resort and you'd need to tell the people there the situation. Altho I certainly wouldn't want to do this cos she is still young and it could raise questions. That being said, you can't be in 2 places at once.

Dacadactyl · 20/09/2023 07:23

I'd also approach the school about after school club. Tell them the situation and ask them if they would pay the after school club fees as a one off.

RoseAndRose · 20/09/2023 07:23

melmonroe · 20/09/2023 00:21

Not everyone has someone who could help out @RoseAndRose I wouldn't have anyone that could pick mine up and look after them.

OP can you speak to your GP in the am, ours will send you up for an x ray, sometimes a little wait as you have to slot in but never more than an hour or so.

Schools usually require you to nominate a contact - that’s who I meant

So, what would happen to DC if it was OP with the possible fracture and you simply had to be in A&E and were unable to drive for a while

This isn’t about having friends - it’s about having emergency plans. Something that schools ask you to sort out for very good reasons

Ollybob · 20/09/2023 07:26

It doesn't require a and e if you have the option of a minor injuries unit nearby, always quicker to go there. Check your local wait times to find the best one.
Although this does depend on your local area and transport of course.

Original poster
Anotherdayanotherfuckup · 20/09/2023 07:30

RoseAndRose · 20/09/2023 07:23

Schools usually require you to nominate a contact - that’s who I meant

So, what would happen to DC if it was OP with the possible fracture and you simply had to be in A&E and were unable to drive for a while

This isn’t about having friends - it’s about having emergency plans. Something that schools ask you to sort out for very good reasons

Show quote history

I don't have anyone. When i say no one it means no one. I know some people say that but then you dig a bit and there is I this case ita actually no one

OP posts:
INeedNewShoes · 20/09/2023 07:31

If your local A&E has a paediatric department I'd take DD there armed with snacks and entertainment. At 13 I attended medical appointments on my own sometimes.

Or you just be late to pick up the others from school.

I agree re attending the meeting being a priority.

Once you've dealt with today, I'd start getting to know the people around you. I know it's hard when you've got a lot on your plate but it will make times like this less stressful if you have people you can call on. You don't have to be close friends for someone to be willing to help you out (a neighbour whose house I've never even set foot in drove me to hospital recently).

As a lone parent I have to have safety nets in place in case something happens to me.

MyHornCanPierceTheSky · 20/09/2023 07:31

So what's the plan for the other dc while you're at the essential meeting for your son? Is it dd to provide childcare or can you take them? If its dd is this part of reason to not take her? Is the 'crying wolf' as you call it related to her maybe seeking attention with a DB who is violent to her and other siblings with additional needs?

Phineyj · 20/09/2023 07:40

I think the best advice here is to look up all the minor injury units you can feasibly get to and go to the one likely to have the shortest wait, picking DD up from school at lunchtime. In my area the MIU is always rammed (they say up to 5 hours' wait routinely) but in my parents' town a half hour drive away you can be seen in MIU almost immediately.

Pay for ASC as a one-off if you can.

You do need an emergency contact for, well, emergencies!

Original poster
Anotherdayanotherfuckup · 20/09/2023 08:11

I'm going to email the person in charge of the emotional disregulation group. Tell them I won't be able to make the first meeting. Its for 12 weeks so hopefully the 1st one is introductions and I can catch up on it .

Thank you for all your suggestions. Sadly some of them things I don't have in my area . I also don't drive so it' takes quite a while to get from A to B. Gp would only tell us to go to A&E

OP posts:
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