Dreading my big birthday this weekend

[Mrspimplepopper]

I'm 40 this weekend, I'm dreading it. My life is shit atm, really fucking shit and stressful. I don't want to celebrate anything... Just as well we're skint and can't do much anyway. My life wasnt meant to turn out like this.

Stupid thing is I wanted a fuss, months ago I dreamed of a lovely weekend.... but we are skint so that's that... Might be able to afford a takeaway

Yet now I'm miserable because I'd rather do nothing than paint a smile on over a shit takeaway...

Im angry at myself, I feel absolutely horrid because I know I'm a selfish cow wanting more and not being pleased with less

Im not making sense really.... I feel so bloody down and shit

S

Oh love 💐

Have the takeaway. Hope it’s a nicer day than you’re expecting.

Sorry to drip feed. Both my teen dc have sen

My dd barely attends school atm, under camhs, and Ed. Psyc. She's having suicidal thoughts.

Both dc never ever give me a break, they scream, cry, demand.... They both have horrific anxiety. Won't go to grandparents and I can't leave them

I'm absolutely done in

I have a very stressful job too