To be concerned about their mental state?

[Shadowsinbed]

I’m currently on Mat leave so I’m home all day for the first time since moving here over a year ago.
my direct neighbour is a 50 something single woman who doesn’t appear to work or leave the house much. Her daughter and grandchildren visit every day and I mean from morning to night, no idea why they never go to their own home or leave the house altogether but there’s never a break. The conversations must be so boring.
at weekends they’re extremely loud and always have been. We blocked it out knowing we can’t expect silence but it did eventually come to our attention that it’s on purpose - eg thumping on the walls, banging the fences if we’re in the garden, slamming doors, blocking us in on our legal dropped kerb drive. We carried on ignoring it to not give her the reaction she clearly wanted, but it’s got to the point where the noise is unbearable. I’m convinced she uses the grandchildren as a means to make noise as they throw toys at the walls, stomp on the spot for hours and throw broken toys into our garden while she laughs and says well done.
As we still haven’t reacted she has resorted to jumping on the spot and running around the house for hours (at night when alone so I know it isn’t the children as they pass my window to go to the car each night) she also seems to wake every couple of hours to slam a door or thump a wall clearly intending to wake us.
I’m now quite concerned and creeped out by her obsession with living her life to disturb us. everything she seems to do is aimed at us and no it isn’t paranoia, my family and friends can see it too and we’ve overheard conversations she has had confirming it. She picks and choses as she quietens down when my husband is home which means she is also watching our every movement. I set up a voice recorder as a test and she doesn’t do it when she knows our house is empty.
i have tried talking to her but she blanks us and all neighbours. She is very anti social it seems.
aside from this little rant that why aren’t they working and have all the time in the world to spend sitting on their ass all day, I’m starting to worry about this woman’s mental state and how far she will take it. Her daughter is either oblivious or enables it as she is there when it happens. They won’t look at us if we leave the house at the same time, they look at the floor and rush past (shared pathway).
Now do I keep ignoring it and hope she gives up or do I report it somewhere? She clearly needs help as I wouldn’t consider this behaviour ‘normal’ for an adult. My husband laughed at me but I genuinely feel unsafe and also threatened by the constant noise aimed at me for no reason. If it’s escalated this much she may become violent for all I know. I get the impression she doesn’t like having neighbours and wants to bully us out although it’s her choice to live there. I think police would be too far and may make things worse.
Any advice?

I agree with Rachel, wishing you the absolute best of luck lass. Life is stressful enough x

I thought from your post that you hadn't had your baby yet. So congratulations! Is it possible that your baby is keeping her awake? Or maybe you got one of the quiet ones lol. We have adjoining neighbours and hear all sorts that I'm sure they don't realise we hear - family arguments, screaming at the kids etc. My daughter is a kids' nurse and when she is home, she hears their new baby through the wall, loud and clear. She says she is so pleased to know she is not at work and doesn't have to care, she is quite happy! Nasty neighbours are not fun though. We had one lady who was constantly harassing us and other neighbours; she had an issue with our houses being built and constantly made vexacious complaints about anything and everything. Objected to every single planning application, etc. Accused me of arranging a burglary in her house. In the end all the authorities became wise to her - but all her complaining kept her going to a ripe old age and she passed away recently. When she was at her worst I used to feel invaded. I felt I couldn't go into my garden because I felt her malevolent presence all the time. She was sad and angry and bitter. But I eventually learned to let it go a long time ago. So then she had no power over me. Perhaos you need to try to do the same. No reaction from you will frustrate her, but eventually she will move on to someone else - it's what bullies do. I still think it may be worth a diplomatic/genial approach first though. But I do understand if you are past that. all the best, CX.

We had neighbours like this when I was growing up. I believe you.

I had neighbours like this op, so I believe you, I think some people think everyone can be reasonable and that one can always talk it out - nope. Noise is bad enough but when you add malice and vindictiveness into the mix it’s a whole new story. Her mental health issues sound awful and she’s trying to drag you down. Wishing you all the best to convince your husband a move would be a fantastic thing 🙂🤞🏼

It certainly sounds like she's mentally unwell.

I'm all honesty, I'd be looking to move as it won't improve.

But in the meantime absolutely stay as you are, a friendly hello to her as she scutters past and no mention of the noise. She's clearly looking for a response so no response is best. Just act normal.

I believe you. Is there any chance that she is hoping you'll sell and her daughter can buy?

My guess was they had their sights set on your house before you moved in.

She sounds like a total loon OP.

She sounds batshit. I think as pp mentioned, she wanted your house for her daughter perhaps. Or just hates people and enjoys being a twat. DM used to have a neighbour who enjoyed reporting things/people. It was his life’s work, he wasn’t well so would write letters of complaint about everything- for his own pleasure. She isn’t a very happy person if you’re taking up space in her brain.

Keep a log, take photos of dumped toys, record noise. If it’s a local authority property you can have a noise box (can’t think of the official name) installed to measure decibels.
Do they acknowledge your DH? Could you confront her about this odd behaviour calmly… of course she may deny it.
I’d install cameras that record sound like Blink or similar.

Do you own or rent and is it a council property?
if you own I would not complain to the council as you would have to then tell any potential buyers.
If you own put it on the market but keep quiet about the issues. It must be hell to live with, especially with a small baby.
If you are renting see if you can move. If a council property try to find a swap.