How to get more fun/adventure into life?

[SilkieChick]

So I did one of those personal values assessment thingys and my top value came out as Prudence. My lowest was Zest.

Obviously these things aren't a 100% accurate marker of how you are as a person and I'm not taking it too seriously - but it did give me a bit of a wake-up call. Honestly, who wants Prudence to be their top trait??

It's true though, I'm so boring at the minute - far too cautious and not exactly living life to the full (within the constraints of a normal work/home life and an average income of course!) I'm 45, at a total crossroads in my career, have an almost non-existent social life and trying to piece together what I want the next phase of life to look like.

What can I do to inject a bit of adventure, fun, play into my life?? Suggestions on a postcard. If you've done it, tell me how!

Try thinking about something like a bucket list? Maybe even just starting with one thing a month? Could be little things like trying out a dance class, visiting a city you've never been to, or having a go at a craft you've never tried. I think it's easy to imagine these things need to be big adventures but zest is about being excited by little things too and taking joy in the every day.
That or you could just go crazy and sign yourself up for a charity sky dive!

Lol, definitely not - that's a bit too extreme!

But I like your idea of starting a list - and in fact I read just this morning about someone who did a 40 things list for her 40th birthday and is having some great adventures and trying new things. That was quite inspiring. I guess it's the sort of thing you can dip into when you need it, or if an opportunity comes up.

Will get my thinking cap on... 🤔

A lot of it is through holidays to places like Costa Rica, jungle, wildlife, zip lines, active volcanoes, watersports, white water rafting, snorkelling, speedboat, tubing.

Within UK I have done wakeboarding, surfing, helicopter ride, snorkelling with seals, kayaking, canoeing, speedboat, classic car hire, there's quite a few things can do though does cost a bit but sometimes can just switch a regular thing to a more exciting one.

I’m a bit of a home bird and this time of year doesn’t encourage me out a lot.

I have decided to learn how to shuffle dance. Just need to get my arse onto some YouTube tutorials.

Im overweight and don’t get enough exercise. Dancing and music is good for mental health. It’s a win win.

Just need to get my lazy arse into gear.

Ps what was the name of the quiz you did. I bet my scores would be even more dull. Perhaps doing it will give me some motivation too.

I did a list of stuff I wanted to do this year, and alongside that a "treat" each month

One of them was wild swimming which has actually stuck and I really enjoy it
My list was 23 hard things to do in 2023 and the treats were stuff like haircut, manicure, buy a nice cake

Make a list, not all of them have to be big or bold. Just something new or something you missed doing from before. I'm trying to challenge myself with new things to get out of mental health slump earlier in the year. Some are easy and free to do - Duolingo to learn a new language, have better sex, learn some new recipes, write a book, bloody parallel parking.
Others are proving harder - trying to get over my fears of spiders, trying to swim using a proper technique - but I'm keeping at it.
Some are still on the wish list, mainly due to budget reasons - I want to ski again! - but I'm working towards them.
And it's opening my eyes to the fact I can do new things and it makes me feel better in every way about myself and the future. Still a work in progress though!

And I am also interested to try the test - I know prudence wouldn't be my top one though !

@rosemarypetticoat here's the test I used - it was suggested in a midlife book I'm reading which has also prompted these thoughts of needing to give myself a kick up the arse!

www.viacharacter.org

And the book - which I have really enjoyed and it's helped my thinking - www.themidlifecoach.org/midliferedefined

@ShadyPaws I like your list - it's a good mix of easy and ambitious!

Definitely going to start my own list - am putting learning or relearning a language for a start. I'd also love to go on a retreat - possibly a yoga retreat - and try a sound bath!

I did that got top strength is bravery. 😂

I'm older than you by a considerable few years but felt similar last year after many many years of chronic illness, I'll always have the illness which causes fatigue and pain but I wanted to get back to doing something I loved so I joined a women only group that go hiking, camping and swimming together, hiking and swimming don't appeal but I love camping so I dug out my 30 year old gear, bought a new tent and a camp bed (then discovered self inflating mattresses) and headed off full of nerves never have met these women before and it was wonderful, they were aged from 30 to 60, so welcoming and fun, we laughed a lot, sat around a campfire til the early hours, lay back and admired the beautiful sky, giggled at the two drunk guys trying to get in to their tent and the argument that followed, we've met a few times since and even camped in a forest in February, I'm looking forward to another outing at the end of the month complete with a beginners hike. I know it's not that exciting compared to others but it's a first step and I'm enjoying it immensely. Find something you want to try and go for it

Mine is trying to be organised when I see things I fancy doing I write them into my diary at that time.
Where I am there are loads of free events but I used to see the ad, think that looks cool then see photos after it was over.

A friend of mine who a very cool, arts filled life and she taught me to write down everything I see that takes my fancy. If its free all I have to do is show up if I'm available.

If it needs tickets then a bit of thought into do I want to go/who with/family friendly/babysitter?

But now most weekends I can look and see I have 3 or 4 options for things that are on that weekend. And usually through the week too but they are harder to manage with family commitments

Split it up into

Simple ideas like trying new recipes, attempting some diy or home/furniture renovation, going out on a bike ride, going somewhere different for a walk, taking part in a new hobby or doing a course in something random you're interested in (lots of free and cheap online)

Slightly adventurous ideas for a weekend maybe once or twice a month like going to a different city, booking a theatre trip, concert or exhibition, entering a charity run

Really adventurous ideas once or twice a year (more if you can afford it) like travelling abroad, climbing a mountain, hiking trip,

following for motivation.

I have decided to try and get a bit more creative, so looking at embroidery kits, paint by numbers. I'm also currently decluttering because I feel like it will give me a clearer head and more space at home to try out new things

@Minibreak2023 completely agree on the decluttering. I think it’s huge to how you feel about yourself & your life, to have a clean and ordered living and work space. I am a messy person so this decluttering and ordering is something I am working to change by building better habits like dealing with admin stuff straight away rather than forming messy piles and getting rid of broken or unused crap. I always feel better when things are orderly but then backslide and it all builds up again.

This doesn't surprise me having read your list of adventurous activities above! 😂

@InterstellarDrifter that's a really good idea to categorise - mixing up big things with smaller things which are easier (and cheaper!) to fit in when there's a chance. I'm going to do that!

@Doggydarling camping is definitely not for me - I hate it! But you've definitely hit on something that I do need - more female friendships. My friendship circle is tiny and not very well nurtured at the moment.

I love the idea of going on adventures - or even just a day out - with a few friends and having a good giggle or putting the world to rights. It's something that I've never really had but I would really like to. It's so hard to find/make new friends in midlife though when you're so busy on all fronts! Or maybe that's just an excuse - I need to make time... I think that's why the idea of going on a retreat appeals, it's an opportunity to set aside time specifically to meet people and share an experience together, without the baggage of home and work getting in the way!

I'm nearly 48, and lost both parents suddenly last year. This summer, I resolved to find more joy as life has felt flat for a while. The reality of a busy life as a working single mum is that most of it has to come from finding joy in the mundane. Seconding what others have said about the joy of a clearer space, I paid someone to come and declutter my living room, and they completely reorganised it, found space for things like the grandfather clock from my parents' house and prompted me to get all my pictures framed and hung. Just gave me so much pleasure to see it all looking really lovely, and all the crap gone, or tidied away.

Spending time in nature is also important for me, so I try and make time a few times a week to go the forest with the dog rather than just popping to the park, and trying to keep up with reading. Then the joy from adventure is really important for me too... I went to Glastonbury and danced up at the park until the sky went pink over the vale of Avalon, and had various little fun things over the summer, culminating in a massive dance with friends at Queer on the Pier in Hastings last weekend - check out the drag act Drag Syndrome for inclusive and life affirming. I find I have to seek stuff out though. It doesn't drop in my lap at 47. Always easier in summer too.

If you want a yoga retreat in Costa Rica, I'm organising one next march (my business is yoga, pilates and barre studios) and I'm taking 10 year old DS and spending a few weeks there, and the yoga teacher is AMAZING. I've run 3 with him in Sri Lanka before, and it's just the most wonderfully restorative week. There's waterfalls and horse riding and the place is set in jungle with views of the pacific. That's what will get me through the winter!

Wow @PollyIndia Sounds amazing. Very inspirational.

I love a sound bath! Definitely have a go at a sound bath.

A retreat sounds lovely and well done PollyIndia

I am not that brave at all, well am half brave, half scaredicat.

@PollyIndia I think I would LOVE a yoga retreat in Costa Rica... sounds amazing! I might have to work up to that though - I'll start with the day retreat that's coming up at my local yoga studio and then get going from there 😄

It's funny you should mention Sri Lanka as someone I was speaking to this morning (who I met recently through quite random circumstances) lives there now after basically turning her life around, travelling all over the place and finding a new lease of life - I confess I'm a bit jealous! Although I know that sort of drastic action isn't for me (I think DH and DDs might object!) it's reinforcing the idea of trying to find some version of it that does work for me.

I'm self-employed now after working for 20+ years in corporate jobs so I'm determined to make the most of that big change to really find the lifestyle I want, so I can live life and have interesting experiences. And also to remember to enjoy the little things - it's 100% true and necessary to find enjoyment in nature or a hobby you love or making a connection with someone, and that stuff often comes along for free every day 🙂