Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

AIBU hubby birthday

4 replies

MarleneH · 18/09/2023 22:09

Good evening lovelies

AIBU?
Hubby 40th next week. His parents have booked a surprise and hired a cottage for us, our 3 kids.. lovely right? Dh doesn’t know yet, and won’t know until we get there. One problem, mum and father in law are coming, and sister in law and brother in law and his wife.

the issue is.. I really do not get on with mother and father in law. Like really don’t get on with them. They make my life difficult, undermine me as a mum (for example, I am strict ish with my kids consuming sweets, and if I tell them no, she will undermine me and give it to them behind my back and tell the children to keep it a secret.) They purposely make my life difficult and MIL was a cow to me during all 3 pregnancies. Father in law is an ex alcoholic with a horrible temper and a narcissist.

AIBU if I back out of this week away? It really is no good for my mental health and has been stressing me out for months. I can’t imagine anything worse than having to spend 5 days with them.

would it be unreasonable if I told DH I was unwell and sent him on his own?
I know it sounds harsh but the thought of being with MIL and FIL for 5 days is making me panic. Big time.

honest opinions and advice welcome

Marlie x

OP posts:
SpottedHandkerchief · 19/09/2023 08:17

How did the idea of the weekend come about? If you’ve supported the planning to make the weekend happen I think it’s poor to back out now

Harrriet · 19/09/2023 08:40

Is your husband supportive and aware of the problems with his parents?

frozendaisy · 19/09/2023 08:46

Why can't you ask H, will have to be when there, to back you up with the choices you make about your children?

I think you need to go and just suck up.

Be the bigger person.

Try and not sweat the small stuff, it's not the end of the world if the kids eat sweets during the week away. You can ride the storm and say "as it's dad's 40th"

It's only a few days.

Freezingcoldinseptember · 19/09/2023 08:51

How about if dh found out? Would HE even want to go? They sound awful. Does he know how they treat you?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page