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Living on benefits

167 replies

Worriednanof1 · 18/09/2023 15:36

Are there any single mums on here who live successfully on benefits alone? My pregnant daughter who has already got a 2 year old has suddenly found herself alone and much as we would, of course, take her in, it wouldn't be ideal. Would she be entitled to enough to support herself in a house/flat of her own?

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 18/09/2023 22:45

Effervescent999 · 18/09/2023 22:08

she needs to find a job

Who's going to employ her heavily pregnant? How many nurseries take new born babies? Not too mention the money is paid in arrears so she needs to find the money up front for a 2 yo and a newborn baby.
No baby should be pushed into full time childcare cos their father is a useless used wet wipe.

Pleaseme · 18/09/2023 23:11

SleepingStandingUp · 18/09/2023 22:45

Who's going to employ her heavily pregnant? How many nurseries take new born babies? Not too mention the money is paid in arrears so she needs to find the money up front for a 2 yo and a newborn baby.
No baby should be pushed into full time childcare cos their father is a useless used wet wipe.

Well they won't employ her now but in six - nine months or so. Not saying she needs to work full time either there is a balance to be struck in how much better off you are working v. how much childcare UC are willing to pay towards. Reality is it's really tough trying to survive on benefits nowadays. However if you worked a couple of days a week you could be £300-500 a month better off even on minimum wage. Then if the useless used wet wipe pays reasonable maintenance, life becomes manageable. Also if you work it's generally easier to increase hours as dc get older.

caringcarer · 18/09/2023 23:14

Worriednanof1 · 18/09/2023 22:32

I am telling her this but i think he'd quit his job rather than pay up.

He would still have to pay her a bit from benefits. It's still worth claiming because anything he pays her for DC won't get counted against her benefits. Besides it would be crazy not to claim just in case he gave up his job. He could just be bluffing.

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Nat6999 · 19/09/2023 00:30

I'm on legacy benefits & managed for the first 2 years of being a single parent on benefits alone until I got my I'll health pension. I won't say it was easy, the mad thing was I had a lot less money coming in than I do now, but had to pay over half my rent. I had to rob Peter to pay Paul, sometimes not pay my rent so I could pay my energy bill or not pay my energy to pay my rent. It is doable but she will need a very strict budget, I shopped in the cheapest shops, I bought loads in places like Farmfoods, Aldi & Lidl, only went to more expensive shops if I couldn't find something in the cheaper ones. Things I found useful was having a pantry store of things like herbs, spices, pasta, rice, flour etc, having a freezer with enough room to batch cook & freeze meals, having a slow cooker. I would cook something in the slow cooker, eat some for tea, then box up the rest & freeze, things like curries, chilli, bolognaise, casseroles, pasta sauces, soups, we had a butcher who parked on the estate & sold meat packs for £20, one pack of meat would do me for at least 2 weeks, a kilo of mince, 6 pork steaks, 6 lamb chops, 500g of stewing steak, sausages, chicken breasts. I also shopped for veg at a local market, then when I got home I chopped & froze things like carrots, onions, peppers etc so I never wasted any & could just use what I needed, it also saved me time. When I got home from taking ds to school, I would dump my ingredients in the slow cooker & tea would be ready when I picked ds up from school, I just needed to cook rice, pasta or potatoes to go with it.

EleanorLucyG · 19/09/2023 03:22

I am telling her this but i think he'd quit his job rather than pay up.

And live off what? You're not eligible for benefits straight away if you've quit, because your circumstances are your own fault. When you do become eligible, it's UC with the expectation of you looking for work and taking a job when it's offered. This is what the poster who's friend doesn't want to work is talking about. Her friend doesn't have any reason eg very young DC or disabled etc that would mean she doesn't have to work, so if she doesn't work she will have her UC stopped. The ex potentially quitting isn't a reason for DD to not claim child maintenance. Even if he's on benefits she'll be awarded some small amount and when you're skint every bit helps.

The reason people are saying to get a job is because it's easier to get one with a current work history than after a long break out of work, when you've got no proven track record. People work when pregnant. How far along is she? She could potentially work from home if she has internet, the company might provide a computer. People applied for jobs, had interviews and started work over lockdown without ever having met anyone at the company. Depending on her skills she shouldn't rule out working just because she's pregnant. If there's other reasons, fair enough. In terms of UC, I'm not sure if there is an option to not work if you're pregnant. People with jobs have to work during pregnancy so I expect UC will come with an expectation of job hunting at this point, until she's given birth, unless her other DC is of an age that means she's allowed to not work.

would imagine she would be bumped up the HA list considering she has a dependent and another on the way. You need to make it clear to the housing association you have no room for her and the kids at yours and they cannot stay at with you as this will go for her and help her become priority. From what I remember you could only turn down 3 properties before you were turned down

As she doesn't currently live with mum, DD doesn't need to do this, as mum has no legal obligation to house her. She'd only need to do this if she moved in with mum and realistically a vague "she can't stay here" won't help much. It needs to be an irreparable breakdown in the relationship and she's being evicted on X date. You're thinking of permanent accommodation. For temporary housing there's no veto option, you take what you're given or you're wiped off the priority list. If her private LL evicts her she'll become a priority then.

OP if she moves in with you, it will affect your relationship. Better to have you in her life providing whatever help you're happy to from a distance than to move in with you, have the inevitable major falling out that will occur when she - spends money in a way you disagree with, parents her DC in a way that isn't yours, DC get older and argue like teens do or take over the home noisily with their friends, DD gets a boyfriend who you may not approve of and he always seems to be there or their relationship isn't progressing how you'd like or as fast as you'd like ie she's not about to move in with him but they're always out having fun, then you're resentful she's not seemingly grateful enough for your help and is having more fun out all the time than you are living with all these people in your house, she's resentful you won't let her live her life how she chooses without making comments, the DC sense the atmosphere and are difficult, and everyone is miserable having a hellish time that your relationship may never recover from.

Having a quick google suggests that la housing is a benefit that pays rent on privately rented places and is nearly £900 in my local area. Sounds too good to be true, no?

Have you looked at the rents in your local area? You'll soon realise the maximum for a 2 bed property is £900 for a reason. It's set so you can afford approx 25-30% of the properties with enough bedrooms. They are unlikely to be the best property or in the best area. And just because you can afford it doesn't mean LL will accept you, many won't either just because the person is on benefits and they know that one mistake from DWP means the tenant may default on the rent, they know that tenants will have trouble finding another rental and may stay put without paying rent until they're evicted if the LL ever needed the property back, or they may have financial criteria eg an income of X times the rent that someone on benefits just hasn't got.

For private rental she won't be hit by the bedroom tax, which isn't a tax at all, it's a reduction in the amount of housing benefit someone can get if they have a room they're not officially deemed to need. Housing benefit is for people in housing association property. The max housing benefit pays the entire rent. So where someone is entitled to the max but has an extra bedroom than they're deemed to need, their entire rent won't get paid as there will be a deduction in housing benefit.

Local housing allowance is for private rental and it's calculated on where you live and number of bedrooms you're deemed to need. They don't care what the tenant does with the money as long as it goes on rent. So if DD rents a 3 bed place and pays the shortfall, fine. If she rents a 2 bed place that's more than the LHA and pays the shortfall, fine. If she rents a 1 bed place so there is no shortfall for her to pay, gives the DC the bedroom and sleeps on the sofa herself, fine. If she eg lives in your garden shed summerhouse for free and claims LHA, that's fraud, not fine. If she's entitled to £900 and rents a 1 bed for £850, she'll get £850, fine. If she rents a huge farmhouse with a pile of friends and her share comes to £900 or less, she'll get her entire rent paid, fine. You get the picture.

Worst thing she can do is move in with you. She'll never get a housing association place and if she's someone with no prospects who realistically is going to be in a min wage job all her life, it helps to have the cheapest rent possible ie social housing and it gives stability not to have to move all the time because the landlord is selling up etc. If she can't afford her private rent due to partner leaving and gets evicted by the courts, she's officially homeless and a priority for housing.

MissTrip82 · 19/09/2023 03:50

MrsMarzetti · 18/09/2023 17:33

mycoffeecup Not everyone has a career, some Mums stay at home and raise their children and some have a job, you know those minions that scan your shopping, serve your coffee or sweep the pavement you walk on.

All parents raise their children, whether working outside the home or not.

An essential part of raising children is providing for them.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 19/09/2023 04:17

Wellsaid, @MissTrip82

Beezknees · 19/09/2023 07:30

caringcarer · 18/09/2023 22:21

She definitely needs to be claiming CMS. The father should not be able to just abandon his financial obligations to his family.

Easier said than done. CMS don't care. The unpaid child maintenance bill runs into the millions every year and just gets written off.

bingbongbang23 · 19/09/2023 07:59

Well said @MissTrip82

I would have quite liked to spend more time at home with my kids, but I also know that going out to work is essential part of my parenting as this is one of the ways I provide for them....

Beezknees · 19/09/2023 08:00

bingbongbang23 · 19/09/2023 07:59

Well said @MissTrip82

I would have quite liked to spend more time at home with my kids, but I also know that going out to work is essential part of my parenting as this is one of the ways I provide for them....

OP's dd is pregnant, are you not reading that part? Nobody will hire a pregnant woman and she can't work with a newborn.

BathingBeauty · 19/09/2023 08:17

Any chance she could move closer to you? Just for a bit more support. Or will dad also want access.

TigerRag · 19/09/2023 08:22

SleepingStandingUp · 18/09/2023 22:45

Who's going to employ her heavily pregnant? How many nurseries take new born babies? Not too mention the money is paid in arrears so she needs to find the money up front for a 2 yo and a newborn baby.
No baby should be pushed into full time childcare cos their father is a useless used wet wipe.

There's a fund which means you can now get childcare paid upfront

caringcarer · 19/09/2023 08:42

Beezknees · 19/09/2023 07:30

Easier said than done. CMS don't care. The unpaid child maintenance bill runs into the millions every year and just gets written off.

They chased my exh and there was a review hearing with a forensic accountant. His declared income was 'inconsistent with lifestyle' they decided what he had to pay every month based on accountants calculations and got DC money by telling him if he didn't pay he'd lose his driving licence as a sanction. He stormed out of the meeting but paid for a year then he then stopped working for himself and got a job and after repeated warnings for non payment they got his employer to send them the money every month. I was very pleased with them and thought they did all they could to make him pay. In the end he had to pay back payments for months he missed.

bingbongbang23 · 19/09/2023 08:59

@Beezknees , yes I did see the part about her being pregnant. I hadn't suggested to work now, my previous comment was to go back to work when baby is 6months. I was surprised to see a few posters saying to rely on benefits and no work until child is 3...

I just don't understand that mentality. I would have loved more time with my kids, but I also appreciated that I didn't have enough money to not work so I did what a lot of others do- put child in nursery and went out to earn money.

ginandtonicwithlimes · 19/09/2023 09:02

Beezknees · 19/09/2023 08:00

OP's dd is pregnant, are you not reading that part? Nobody will hire a pregnant woman and she can't work with a newborn.

When her maternity leave is finished she can.

ginandtonicwithlimes · 19/09/2023 09:05

FWIW I am better off working a couple of days and getting a small UC top up than relying solely on UC. Obviously the daughter can't find a job right now but it isn't outrageous to suggest getting one once baby is six months plus. If you start a new job UC will pay the cost of nursery upfront.

Cowlover89 · 19/09/2023 09:09

simnel · 18/09/2023 17:50

I think coffee cup was only stating the fact that, sooner or later, she will be expected to work. I don’t know what the age requirements are though.

Work is the only way you can help yourself, even part time from home at the moment if she could manage. UC isn’t enough to live on alone. And I think at some point she would be called in to the job centre which by all accounts sounds like an unpleasant experience.

Think it depends where you live in the country and I'm lucky I get all my rent paid for. Some people can survive on UC. Just depends how much you get

Worriednanof1 · 19/09/2023 10:45

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 18/09/2023 22:41

What rough area of the country does your dd live in, round me she would probably be rehoused within 3 months, near my sister no chance.

She's in Yorkshire.

OP posts:
TeaKitten · 19/09/2023 12:09

Worriednanof1 · 19/09/2023 10:45

She's in Yorkshire.

I’m fairly certain the LHA for a 2 bed won’t be £900 then, it’s just short of £650 in North Yorkshire.

Worriednanof1 · 19/09/2023 12:36

TeaKitten · 19/09/2023 12:09

I’m fairly certain the LHA for a 2 bed won’t be £900 then, it’s just short of £650 in North Yorkshire.

The £900 was for where i live.

OP posts:
Beezknees · 19/09/2023 14:42

bingbongbang23 · 19/09/2023 08:59

@Beezknees , yes I did see the part about her being pregnant. I hadn't suggested to work now, my previous comment was to go back to work when baby is 6months. I was surprised to see a few posters saying to rely on benefits and no work until child is 3...

I just don't understand that mentality. I would have loved more time with my kids, but I also appreciated that I didn't have enough money to not work so I did what a lot of others do- put child in nursery and went out to earn money.

I don't think anyone is suggesting it's a good idea, but the fact is that OP's daughter CAN do that if she wants to, whether people like it or not.

TeaKitten · 19/09/2023 14:52

Worriednanof1 · 19/09/2023 12:36

The £900 was for where i live.

Have you looked what she will get for where she lives? To see what the shortfall is

user1471538283 · 19/09/2023 14:55

I was on benefits only for 2 years with my DS and it wasn't manageable even then. I could only pay bills, feed us and clothe him. We had social housing. I went back to work and started my degree and slowly got on my feet.

ThatbloodyRoblox · 19/09/2023 15:50

It is worth checking one of the benefits calculators to see what your daughter is entitled to.
If the whole rent isn't covered a lot of councils have discretionary housing payments that will make the shortfall up for a limited period of time.
How old s your daughter as standard allowance for universal credit is less for under 25s?
Also look at benefit cap information which may apply.
Ali if she gets UC has no other income he may be entitled to cost of living payments, social tariffs for her broadband. Healthy start vouchers etc It s worth her checking her providers they don't automatically tell you.
An appointment with citizens advice or a benefit advice service locally may help.

WhisperingHi · 19/09/2023 18:34

@Worriednanof1

Leaving someone isn't always "doing a runner".