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Original poster

I have just developed a irrational, frankly STUPID fear of motorway bridges.

37 replies

Judydoes2 · 18/09/2023 13:43

I say just, probably in the last few months. The first time Inoticed any anxiety about them however was about two years ago while my DP was driving us over a particularly high, wide one somewhere in Shropshire and it just made me feel fearful, the realisation that we were SO high up. But that didn't develop until recently and now I am very anxious while driving (or being driven) over one.

I don't really know why.

Just driven cross-counties and each time I came to one I panicked somewhat. I won't drive near the edge, I am careful obviously but I stay near the centre, to the point the car's bumping on the white lines.

Not right.

I cling onto the steeering wheel. It's almost like 'Call of the Void' but not quite as I am not thinking about driving off the edge, more like stressing in case a large vehicle was to come too close and/or and bump me off the bridge!

I've been driving twenty years-WHERE has this come from? Also a generalised fear of heights. Thinking about heights makes me anxious now never used to, and recently a relative was over from a different country and wanted to go up Blackpool tower-we did visit but I was NOT happy and while all the rest of my family tottled about having a good look, I went STRAIGHT back down in the lift as soon as I'd got up there!

I can avoid things like that-but what about this motorway bridge thing?! I drive a fair bit-I don't want to be like this. Any tips? Anyone shed any light on what has happened that this is suddenly an issue?

OP posts:
TapDancingEverySyllableFromEarToEar · 18/09/2023 13:47

A fear of driving over bridges?

Surely the real danger is from driving under them and someone dropping something onto your windscreen?

With the general fear of heights - are you sure nothing started that, not even a glass lift or dodgy escalator?

Bellybootcut · 18/09/2023 13:49

No advice but I have the exact same thing. Developed it at some point in my 20s think. No idea why.

MadamWhiteleigh · 18/09/2023 13:51

Fears like this can start anytime, there doesn’t necessarily need to be a trigger, although there probably is one if you looked hard enough.

I know what you mean. I absolutely hate driving over the Dartford Crossing. I just look ahead, focus on the car in front and don’t look around me or mentally acknowledge in anyway that I’m on a bridge.

Abeli · 18/09/2023 13:51

I've always felt like this about bridges, motorway or any other. Irrationally terrified. I won't go over footbridges either.
I have to travel over the Humber bridge quite often and much prefer to hug the inside lane. I once got stuck on there in high winds after a lorry tipped over (it happens a lot).

Recently drove North up the A1 and was diverted over a motorway bridge and got stuck there in traffic, I was really unnerved.

LittleMonks11 · 18/09/2023 13:53

This can be a peri or menopause symptom.

Arabels · 18/09/2023 13:55

Oh OP I think you’re about to get a load more fuel for the fire, in joke you get some helpful nuggets too!

It’s not completely unreasonable (knew someone with a phobia of buttons once). Driving over bridges is bloody weird. But the question is why have you suddenly focussed on it. You can rationalise all you like but as you suggest, you want to find that switch in your mind and un-flip it!

Changes17 · 18/09/2023 14:00

I developed a fear of sheer drops in my 40s. It mostly affects me when walking along paths by the side of mountains and cliffs, and was at its worst when walking over a footbridge with no barriers across a mountain ravine.

I'd have thought you'd drive over a motorway bridge really quickly though so not so much of an issue.

The only solution I found was not to think about it - or at least not to focus on it – and gradually it gets better. It was almost like I was egging myself on to feel afraid – so I just told myself not to.

fiddlesticksandotherwords · 18/09/2023 14:16

LittleMonks11 · 18/09/2023 13:53

This can be a peri or menopause symptom.

What - a sudden fear of driving across motorway bridges?

I've never seen that one on the list.

Original poster
Judydoes2 · 18/09/2023 14:17

Thanks all-interesting about the peri-menopause, I will look into that, I am early forties so it is possible although every older woman in our family has menopaused very late.

I am glad I am not the only one-good point that this thread may result in things that make me feel even more fearful, I didn't think that one through did I?😂

Just looked up Dartford Crossing-eek!

I do need to do something about this, I honestly cannot think of a trigger at all! I agree it is likely that there is one though. Hmm. I was on a coach yesterday with DP's sports team, for about an hour involving several bridges and I was so so anxious! I was fine on the way back when I had had a few tipples after the match but that most definitely isn't the answer much of the time .

OP posts:
Cuppaand2biscuits · 18/09/2023 14:18

You need some hrt. This can be a peri menopause symptom.

Cuppaand2biscuits · 18/09/2023 14:21

A sudden fear of something you would usually do without even giving it a second thought.
Some women suddenly get anxious about driving in the dark, or using motorways or pulling out of certain busy junctions.
It's like you've lost your confidence but you don't know why.

Abeli · 18/09/2023 14:21

I must have started menopause in my twenties then.

Scampuss · 18/09/2023 14:23

Aah, yes, I've always been a bit scared of heights but since peri it's been extreme. I can more or less manage driving over bridges but have to look straight ahead and focus on the land (obviously also being aware of road/traffic etc too), but walking over most (ie anything more than a little one over a stream) bridges has become terrifying.

violetcuriosity · 18/09/2023 14:24

I've got this too, it's so random. It kind of gradually developed over the past 15 years but mine stems from being nervous about fainting behind the wheel, particularly on a bridge. My theory is that it's a type of vertigo and a feeling of being out of control- you can't pull over on a bridge so if anything happens you won't be able to stop.

Peridot1 · 18/09/2023 14:25

Can definitely be peri menopausal. Sounds odd I know but it’s linked to anxiety. A friend was exactly the same. Bridges and tunnels. It seemed to come on quite suddenly. She had no clue what it was and eventually got more and more anxious and emotional. Through talking to people she figured it out and HRT really helped.

Initially she linked it to something that had happened with driving a few years before but it was just general anxiety really and just focussed on bridges and tunnels.

northerncrumpet · 18/09/2023 14:27

A bit random, but is there anything else in your life that you are anxious about, and the increased general anxiety has attached itself to bridges?

This was suggested to me by a counsellor when I suddenly got nervous about driving on narrow lanes (where we live that is all there is) when previously I had been fine, and sure enough, there was a lot of anxiety about other stuff going on which was showing up when I was driving...like my anxiety threshold had changed?

MenopauseSucks · 18/09/2023 14:29

Im ok driving on short bridges & have never been phased by the Hogarth Roundabout flyover which I know some friends refuse to go over.
However I find long bridges not nice - the M90 & Forth Road bridge & the two Severn crossings.
I know the bridges are stable & Ive never driven over them in bad weather but I still don't like driving them.

ohtowinthelottery · 18/09/2023 14:37

I'm mystified as to where the high, wide motorway bridge is in Shropshire! There's only 1 motorway in Shropshire and it's only a 2 lanes wide.

I developed a fear of motorway driving in my early 50's. Had a panic attack out of nowhere (never had one before) after 30+ years of driving. I've also never been a great lover of heights but this has got much worse as I've got older. I've put it down to the menopause.

LittleMonks11 · 18/09/2023 14:43

If you dislike the Humber Bridge (which I do now) then try the Prince of Wales Bridge when you have a hangover - in the dark. Oh my god.

Abeli · 18/09/2023 14:49

I remember a thread on here years ago comparing the most horrific bridges, flyovers and mountain roads that people had experienced😂

Ykn · 18/09/2023 14:51

Exactly the same here OP, you are not alone. I bet there are many many more people with exactly the same fear. I haven't really got any advice I'm afraid.

I've always been scared of heights but the fear of motorway bridges, even normal A-road bridges, has crept up on me over the last 10 years or so, starting with a fear of motorways after encountering several aggressive drivers. I used to drive all over the UK on motorways, now I go out of my way to avoid them and DH does all the motorway driving, which luckily he doesn't mind and is very understanding about.

VeridicalVagabond · 18/09/2023 14:53

I have this but with tunnels. I HATE them, my husband always laughs at me when I go white knuckled going through any kind of tunnel, but I cannot express the feeling of deep existential dread they give me. Haven't always had it, used to go caving and all sorts in my youth, but the last 5-6 years or so I can't even look at a tunnel mouth without getting the willies.

My daughter helpfully offered recently that perhaps I died in a horrible mining accident in a past life.

sakura06 · 18/09/2023 15:00

Also scared of bridges! Especially over bodies of water. There's one in the north of Sweden that I have to drive over every summer and I think it's to do with the angle of the bridge and the fact it's also an uphill slope. I can just about tolerate the Öresund bridge though (long one between Sweden and Denmark). Mostly because I have no choice. The fear has happened to me since I had kids.

cornflakegirl · 18/09/2023 15:02

There is an excellent recent CrowdScience episode on this exact subject.