Was this sexual assault or not?

[Slay1981]

I've been thinking a lot about something that happened to me when I was about 10. I was out playing in a school field with my brothers and a few others.

I was the only girl and while the boys were off playing football quite far away, I was on my own. One of the boys who would have been about 12 came over and started play fighting with me. However it was not what I would call play fighting and it was a horrible experience. He was pinning me down and dry humping me, grinding up against me. I kept shouting get off but he wouldn't stop. He didn't try and get inside of my clothes or anything like that, but he had completely over powered me and when I did manage to occasionally wriggle free he would drag me back. It only stopped when my dad turned up to take me and my brothers home.

No body had noticed what had happened. I cried my eyes out all the way home. I don't remember if I told them what had happened but if I had it definitely would have been brushed off because it was never mentioned again. And I know I never would have said about the grinding type movements out of embarrassment.

Was this just a childhood scuffle or something more than that? Sexual assault? I think I've been triggered by all the Russell brand stuff and not sure what to think.

I’m sorry that happened to you.

I think a lot of people are triggered by the news & reevaluating what was normalised & brushed off back then.

No one can tell you what to feel. It does sound like an assault to me.

Thank you. I should say that this incident regularly comes into my thoughts (as in once or twice a year) and it's not a deep dark memory that's only just resurfaced. I'm 42 so along time ago now. The boy was a couple of years older than me at school and I've always had a hatred of him come over me if I ever hear anything about him

I don't know OP but I agree with the other poster, what you feel is what you feel and there is no right or wrong way to feel. Whether it would be defined as assault or not isn't really going to make a difference, its OK to talk about it and allow those feelings without guilt. I'm really sorry

I’m a police officer and if you felt there was a sexual element then yes id deem it a sexual assault.

I'm so sorry you experienced that and feel it would have been brushed off.

can you talk to anyone for some support? Rape crisis may be able to help you if you can’t talk to anyone IRL.

look after yourself 💐

The Rape Crisis site has some useful information about this sort of question, here.

rapecrisis.org.uk/get-informed/types-of-sexual-violence/what-is-sexual-assault/

So, yes, it was a sexual assault as well as a physical assault.

I'm sorry that no one took it seriously at the time, and I'm not surprised at all at your reaction to it.

Thank you everyone The reason I've been giving it a lot of thought this weekend is because I was watching the Russell Brand dispatches programme with my husband and he said he's sceptical because these women should have contacted the police and not the media. I was trying to explain until I was blue in the face why this wasn't fair. I took myself by surprise by blurting out about this incident and why I didn't tell anyone through sheer embarrassment and also because I thought I'd be making a mountain out of a molehill and just causing drama. I've never told anyone about this incident before and up until now just considered it kids just being kids. I don't think it's necessary something I need support with, just something I'm trying to make sense of in my head really. Thank you 😊