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Original poster

Is it OTT to never let your child have a TV/games console in their bedroom?

29 replies

BasinHaircut · 18/09/2023 09:56

My son is currently 10 so I think it’s perfectly fine for all TV and gaming to be done downstairs for now, we have kitchen/diner/family open plan room and also a separate lounge and this is where DS currently plays his games console and watches shouty YouTubers. So we can keep an eye on him but equally he can have his own space. It means we don’t have to have his friends upstairs when they come over and we have half an idea what they are doing.

I don’t want TVs in bedrooms because I think it’s really easy to fall into bad habits re bedtime, I.e. falling asleep to the tv day in day out. Plus at his age, getting DS to switch the TV off and go to sleep would be a constant battle.

DH and I haven’t had a TV in our bedroom since we moved to this house when DS was a baby. We have a small TV that we bring out if someone is poorly so they can stay in bed and watch TV, but its not a permanent feature so we are practicing what we preach.

We are about to do DS’s bedroom, as it’s a bit babyish for him now, and he needs a desk for homework etc. He wants a TV and console in his room, DH thinks he is ‘old enough’ but I say no way. Still too young and as we have a space he can socialise in downstairs, I can’t see why he ever needs these things upstairs.

OP posts:

ShineBright1209 · 18/09/2023 10:04

My oldest DS was probably about 10 when he had his games console put in his bedroom but that was more because he didn’t have his own space anywhere else in the house for it so was either in the living room which meant the others couldn’t watch tv or in my room and that drove me mad. Even now he doesn’t have an actual tv in his room, I bought him a gaming monitor instead.
He can still watch YouTube and other tv apps through his games console but the turning it off at bedtime hasn’t been an issue because he knows that off means off and not to even try to sneak it back on. He’s now 13 and still no issues.

Owjrbvr · 18/09/2023 10:04

I think at ten that’s fine but when he’s a teenager is there somewhere else in the house he can watch tv? We got our teen a tv in her bedroom as she watches different shows to us and she is up until a similar time to us so then wasn’t able to watch what she wanted.

ApoodlecalledPenny · 18/09/2023 10:06

I don’t think it’s too much. We don’t have a tv in our bedroom either. We have one console hooked up to the tv in the living room.

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Phos · 18/09/2023 10:06

I think this depends so much on what the layout of the house is and on the nature of the kid as well. I had a tv and SNES (yes I'm that old) from 10 but I had reasonable amounts of self control and only used them as long as I was allowed to, generally (except the couple of times I sneakily set an alarm because there was a sports match on late at night I wanted to see)

PuttingDownRoots · 18/09/2023 10:06

Neither my 10 or 12yos have a TV in their room.

But occasionally watch stuff on their tablets or laptops!

Indeed last night DH was watching the Rugby so I watched trash on my phone in my room instead.

underneaththeash · 18/09/2023 10:07

No TVs in bedrooms here either. But, we do have a separate playroom with a TV.

We don't allow phones in rooms either.

Nicesalad · 18/09/2023 10:08

No of course it's not OTT.

SabrinaThwaite · 18/09/2023 10:10

We have the same set up as you - our boys have never had a TV or console in their bedroom and it was not an issue. They always had a separate room (lounge or snug) that they could use.

CharSiu · 18/09/2023 10:21

I didn’t allow any tv or console in DS bedroom till he was about to do his GCSE exams and he was allowed a PC for homework. His gaming console remained in a family area till he was 16 and post GCSE.

I say that as a lifelong gamer as is DH and before anyone assumes we are some sort of layabouts we both had careers in academia.

Allthegoodusernamesareused · 18/09/2023 10:22

I don't think it's necessary to have a TV in the bedroom. My DD (13) doesn't have a TV in her room, but she does watch TV on her laptop in her room sometimes. All her devices (phone, tablet, laptop) have to be downstairs by 9pm on school nights, 10pm at weekends. We have a games console in the lounge, but she's not hugely interested in it.

user1492757084 · 18/09/2023 10:32

No phones, TV or consoles need to be in the bedrooms of anyone who wants to get a good nights sleep.
Many sleep experts agree that screens and a restful brain do not mix well.
Your son has access to screens else where so I would keep them downstairs. You are right to want to know where and what his friends get up to - you sound like a mindful parent.

Bullying happens over phones and kids can be more relaxed and worry free without the constant phone connection.
Porn also is very destructive to teenagers and more a temptation with devices in private rooms.

I would not risk changing what is working very well now.

Boshi · 18/09/2023 10:45

My ds is similar age and I am not planning on letting him have a tv or console in his till anytime before his GCSEs.

My DH had a tv in his room growing up and he says he regrets having had that, he opted out of family life and stayed in his room and I don’t want my ds to be able to do that as he struggles to stick to screen times etc.

If they have a separate space for screens and gaming I just don’t see the need for kids to have screens in their bedrooms. Where’s the benefit in it?

Pleaseme · 18/09/2023 10:50

Even at 13, I’ve said no to computers upstairs. Former playroom is now screen room though! It might be different if they didn’t have space downstairs that could be used.

Pleaseme · 18/09/2023 10:51

I don’t allow phones/ pads in bedrooms either. Dc need to sleep.

Querypost · 18/09/2023 10:52

I had a TV and playstation in my room as a child from the age of around ten. I was able to monderate the use of both myself so I'd say it depends on the child.

parietal · 18/09/2023 10:54

We have only one TV in the house. But dc (age 15 and 12) do have phones and iPads in bedrooms because they need them for schoolwork.

redskytonights · 18/09/2023 10:56

I think it's fine if you've got a separate lounge for him to go to.

It's a slightly different question if the only non-communal space is the child's bedroom - no one wants a shouty online gaming teen in their lounge.

Also, with adults, it's becoming more prevalent to make spare spaces into home offices. We had a separate space with a TV that the DC used as a playroom and then a gaming room. But now DS is an adult with a wfh job, it's had to be converted into a work space for him, so TV/games console has gone into his bedroom.

DelilahBucket · 18/09/2023 10:58

We don't have TVs in bedrooms here either, DS is 15. He used to game downstairs on the PlayStation, now he games on his laptop or watches TV on it, and that comes downstairs at 10:15pm. Some people may find this approach odd but I have a non-argumentative, very pleasant teen, who gets a good night's sleep every night. When he goes to his dad's on a Saturday night, he stays up until the early hours playing on an Xbox and it takes him three days to return to his usual chilled out self. The attitude and arguing is horrendous because he's tired.

ForestofBears · 18/09/2023 11:03

DC1 is 12 and doesn’t have a TV or console in her room, but she does have a laptop that she watches Netflix and YouTube on as well as doing her homework. She also sneaks her Nintendo switch up there sometimes too. We only have 1 tv in the house and the only console type thing is a Nintendo switch for each DC.

whatsagoodusername · 18/09/2023 11:11

Dc (11 & 12) do not and will not have TVs in their room.

There is a TV in the lounge which they usually monopolise. There is a TV in the playroom if the lounge is occupied. They sometimes take iPads to their room.

But no TVs and consoles permanently there. They have no self control and would try to sneak it on after bedtime or too early in the morning. No need for that easy temptation.

CeeJay81 · 18/09/2023 11:21

If we had the space then we would dp the same, but we only have a small house. Only 1 small lounge and kitchen. So mine have them in the bedroom, as we aren't rich like most of mumsnet.

InTheFutilityRoomEatingBiscuits · 18/09/2023 11:24

No TVs, computers or phones upstairs full stop with the exception of laptops to do homework at secondary age (returned downstairs when homework is finished) and kindles.

No phones allowed upstairs, ever including mine. No TVs upstairs and no games consoles upstairs. Bedrooms are the place to retreat from all the noise and intrusion of life. All charging cables and plugs are downstairs and remain so. I don’t see any need for even a teenager to have their phone in their room, gives them no place that’s safe from the incessant messages and demands.

MissDollyMix · 18/09/2023 11:29

My DC are 10 and 13 and I say no screens in your room until you've done your A-Levels! After that they're adults and can do what they want. I do the same. For me it's about good sleep hygiene.

ICanSeeMyHouseFromHere · 18/09/2023 11:30

No. I don't think it's unreasonable at all.

My boys share, and keep what could otherwise be a second bedroom as a 'play room' with the console/TV in - it means that when they go to bed, they go to bed, with devices plugged in elsewhere (but that I still have use of the living room without them monopolising it).

It works well for us, and I don't see me ever letting them have consoles/TVs in their room - and I'll even discourage ipads in their rooms overnight for as long as I can.

Eldest came down this morning knackered because he'd been listening to an audio book on his kindle far too late, so I might have to ban them too!

Sleep hygiene matters, and if I wasn't on-call, I'd not have my phone in my room either (I don't have a TV in there, or watch TV in bed)

mindutopia · 18/09/2023 11:32

I think, if you have the space/funds for it, and you have more than one child, it can make life easier to have a tv/whatever in more than one place in the house. For example, we have a tv in the lounge and then we have a tv in the spare (guest) room. So children can be separated so they don't fight over the tv and there is a separate space where older one can watch tv/films/play games (there is a very aged games console in there which hardly plays anything) with friends with they visit/stay over. It minimises the fighting over who gets to watch what and gives older one a space for hanging out that isn't with younger one.

But me personally, I wouldn't want a tv or games console in a bedroom, at least not as a permanent feature. We have never had one in our room. Bedrooms are for sleeping and relaxing. As I wouldn't have one for us, I can't see an age when I'd permit it for dc either, even as an adult (18+) as it would be too disruptive to our sleep too. It's the same reason I wouldn't permit them to have their phone in their room all night.

But if it's to create a separate space for daytime use, which you remove at night (take controller/unplug/etc.), I can see how it would be useful if there are no other alternative spaces. I'm just not a big fan of tvs in bedrooms personally.

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