How to stay connected to DC when working full time

[Bluedande]

I’ve had to increase my hours back to full time out of financial necessity but I am finding it hard emotionally. My DC are 8 and 5, we leave the house at 8am and often don’t get home until just before 6pm, 5 days a week. We don’t have family nearby so are relying on childcare which is working well but it means the DC are tired.
Can anyone suggest any ways to stay ‘connected’? We have stories at bedtime, and I’m trying to make sure we have lots of family time at the weekends but so far it feels tough on us all.

Put a small note in their picked lunch or bag every day, a surprise to be found later in the day.
Make sure you make time to listen to how their day has been.

I’m sure other people will say that this is normal and for many families it is. But I would find this hard. I suppose it’s about trying to be present with them as much as possible when you are together.

We all eat at the table together; sometimes the kids (7 and 3) will just have porridge if they’ve eaten at the childminder but we make sure to all sit together at 6:30 for dinner. We all say 1 good thing and 1 bad thing that happened that day, the 3 year old is even starting to understand the game.

dh and I don’t pick up our phones from walking in the door until after they’re asleep (8:30ish)

homework atm is usually reading and done on a morning at breakfast time then we talk about the story on the way to school and also use the travel time to just chat about the day ahead and plans we all have. We’ve never known any different.

Maybe try and introduce little (quick) things every now and then that give you opportunities to connect, but aren't too taxing. So for example in the morning during breakfast, or on the way to school or whatever everyone has to share one thing they're proud of from yesterday and one thing they're looking forward to today (even if it's just bedtime!). Or at dinner, or car ride home from childcare, pick one thing from a question dice or cube (https://veryspecialtales.com/question-dice-conversation-cubes/ for example but there are loads of ideas out there) and everyone answers the same one.

Mainly I think it's just trying to make sure that you have interactions with them that aren't just task-based, which is easy to fall into when you're busy and trying to get everything done. So every now and then it's good to just interrupt yourself in the middle of 'come on, get in the bath' and be a bit silly, e.g. 'right, everybody stop. Emergency dance party!' and play music on your phone and dance. It can derail things a bit, but it's those kind of moments you connect in, rather than the general slog of the day.

Coming together around the table regardless sounds good, they eat at childcare so we often eat without them. Sure they won’t refuse a little snack!
Not feeling alone in our lifestyle helps, I feel like the only parent not at pick up recently.

Completely normal, OP. As they get older you get longer with them in the evenings.

Eating together, even if it's just hot chocolate and biscuits. I don't practise what I preach but a nightly chapter of a book would be lovely. You can talk about the book at other times too.