Phobias

[Whatintheworldgirl]

If you have a phobia, what is it?

I'm finding that it's frustrating having a phobia and people assuming you can just 'get over it'. Do you believe you can just 'get over it?'

I have several, but I think it’s easier for people to understand if it’s one of the “normal” phobias, like spiders or heights. Some people have phobias that others find comical, eg phobias of cotton wool or buttons. Not only do people not understand, but might mock the phobia-sufferer.

One of my phobias is belly buttons. Can’t even look at them. I get “OMG how can you be scared of belly buttons, everyone has one”. I know it’s irrational, but I’m still scared.

Crabs. I can’t watch them on tv or look at photos etc. Makes me avoid the sea and beaches x

Vomit. Me vomiting, others vomiting included. I've come a long way with exposures therapy though!

I've had treatment three times for arachnophobia and they all failed.

The third time was more beneficial as the therapist changed direction and suggested ways to deal with the anxiety and panic when suffering.

She also gave me an interesting theory that some people are born predisposed to having a phobia and something in life will determine what that phobia is.

A bit like addiction where you are born predisposed to having an addictive personality but life's events will determine whether it's gambling, alcohol, drugs, over eating or something else.

Therefore if your phobia of say snakes is overcome, you may find yourself developing a fear for something else which could be more debilitating.

Dolls. Give me the creeps. Can't share a room with them.

Cats. They terrify me.

Thunderstorms and dogs.

Vomiting - me and others. I have ptsd (diagnosed) from the initial incident then other incidents piled on top of that (child threw up on the back of my head in a line up at school etc). Have had cbt many times, EMDR, regular therapy etc . Morning sickness affected me so badly I was under the psych team as wanted to end my life.
So sadly no I don't think I can just 'deal with it' or 'get over it'. It's ruined my life in so many ways. :(

Learning to meditate, focus on my breath and be in the moment has helped me manage my phobias- heights, flying, creepy crawlies

Flying and spiders/cockroaches. I've always been scared of spiders and in a way that's easier to overcome as I can get things to help me deal with them like (sorry insect lovers) a long fly swatter and bug spray (that's mostly for roaches though).

Flying I really don't know how to deal with. It's not something I can avoid as I live overseas. I used to be fine then developed this phobia after some bad turbulence. I have panic attacks if I fly unmedicated. Even with medication it's not pleasant. I've never had a panic attack with a spider so it feels more surmountable.

Driving. I’ll do it, but it’s nerve-wracking. I don’t think I’ll ever get over it because it seems perfectly rational to me. People who enjoy driving are the weird ones.

I also have a bit of kosmemophobia, which is fear or revulsion toward jewelry. I find dangly, big earrings disgusting, especially when you can see them visibly pulling on the lobe.

Birds, dead ones. I can't look at one and run as fast as I can. I'll never have cats again after I found a dismembered bird on the floor by my baby's cot. I ran up the road with her in my arms, screaming. Luckily a neighbour heard me and cleaned up for me. Cat moved in with MIL down the street, had a happy life and lived to seventeen.

This too. I only drive if I absolutely have too. I'm terrified.

Spiders 100% and anyone who thinks you can just get over it is a moron. It's called a phobia for a reason

Mine is one of the better-known ones - heights. Particularly bridges.

Generally people don't fully understand the extent of it if they don't suffer themselves, so can be somewhat unsympathetic. Not in an uncaring way, as such, just an unimaginative way.

I find my phobia deeply irritating and am very envious of those who can skip up mountains/tall buildings/over bridges without a care in the world. For these reasons I do keep trying to manage (I don't think overcoming is possible at this stage) my phobia, which very occasionally has been successful.

A few things, and no you can't 'just get over' them, because they aren't rational but deep-seated fears.

I'm phobic of needles (that sure didn't help during the early days of Covid as refusing to be jabbed makes one look like an anti-vaxxer!), spiders (although that has been helped by having a spider catcher so I feel more in control, still I will scream loudly if even a teeny tiny one falls on me!), I was emetophobic but that has toned down to just a severe dislike, mainly because I got food poisoning and you can't avoid throwing up. Somehow that experience helped with the phobia.

Also phobic of public speaking (dropped out of a PhD in part because of that).

Reptiles. Especially tortoises. It's the thought they have cold blood and live longer than humans that freaks me out.

I've got that one too. Can you cross a bridge at all? I can but it's not pleasant. Not so much the low bridges: I'm fine over Waterloo Bridge for instance. But a long high bridge with struts, like Brooklyn Bridge for instance, is my worst nightmare. Especially as it's on two levels so you can see the traffic underneath.

I'm so bad I can't even comfortably watch someone else on a cliff/high building/tight rope etc, even if it's not live so I know they're okay.

It doesn't really seem that irrational though as you really could die if you fell from a height.

@Greenberg2 they are never irrational. A phobia is a debilitating thing no matter if someone else thinks yours is irrational. I'm not personally phobic of heights but I can absolutely understand why people are, is it just a phobia itself or do you suffer vertigo?

Knives. No idea why or what the cause of it is as (to my memory/knowledge) I've never been in an incident involving knives!

My Mum said even as a toddler I was terrified of knives and would scream in horror and run away if my Mum/anyone else was cooking/holding knives.

I'm okay using one myself more or less - certain large or weirdly shaped knives freak me out a bit though and I can get intrusive thoughts while I'm holding it of stabbing myself. My main issue is other people holding/using knives even if I trust them.

For example I can't be in a kitchen if someone else is using a sharp knife. I either get intrusive thoughts that they're going to come at me with the knife (either on purpose or hit me with it by accident), or I have a physical adrenaline type bodily response where I feel like I need to tackle them/fight them to get it out of their hand. It's worse depending on who is holding it; i.e if its a man or a woman, my feelings on that person, what I think their personality is like

When I live with my partner/have kids I'm going to have to keep the knives in a locked drawer where I only have the key although I know that's massively unreasonable and weird

Spiders.

Can't use a spider catcher, put a glass over them or even hoover them up. That involves being close and the movement of them terrifies me.

It is my biggest fear of being alone in older age. I think often about how things might be and I can't get past 'but what if there is a spider'

Therapy in its usual form doesn't work for me as I'm autistic so when people flaunt 'just get therapy' I wonder how o could even begin to find someone who wouldn't just be taking my money.

Im hoping to do the course at London Zoo in the future as I think it may be helpful to reduce a bit of the fear but I live far away and it will cost a lot of money so I live in fear just now

@Greenberg2 I can cross some bridges without any issues at all- mostly wide, low bridges to be fair. Some bridges I can cross sometimes, without any problems. Other times they cause my palms to sweat and my heart to start racing. I have realised that these times coincide with being extra tired, so at least there's something of a pattern.

One particular annoyance is driving over bridges, particularly going round a bend. A few years ago I drove my boys to France and discovered that the ferry port we were sailing to had a large bridge I would have to cross. I had to change ferry crossings- after Googling bridges/France/ferry ports😳

I am, however, totally fine if someone else is in charge of the bridge-crossing/heights. So flying is fine. Being a passenger in a car is fine. The only time that rule didn't apply was when I was persuaded (in the name of 'getting over it') to do a tandem paraglide. That did not go well.

Mine is spiders, and it doesn't help when every autumn the threads about spiders are started, and then the people who don't understand about phobias start posting about how unreasonable you are, how awful to kill them, how they won't hurt you, how they're much more scared of you, how they catch flies, how you're much bigger than they are, how much they themselves love and adore all spiders, how they have pet ones in their homes, called Doris, Boris and bloody Fred…
… and breathe.

No, you can't just get over it.

You can't 'just get over them' without effort, no. They are, however, highly treatable, easily the most treatable of all mental illnesses.I had multiple phobias as a child, and I have overcome most of them with help and a bit of work.