Does your financial situation always take a drop after kids?

[daisybubble]

We are only planning one, not sure if we’d have a second

For one we’d probably only need one day of paid childcare a week, and hopefully by the time we’d need it (2025) 9 month olds may be entitled to 30hrs a week anyway so our 10 hours a week that we need might be covered.

We don’t have an extravagant lifestyle at the moment and both earn averagely, and both plan to continue working full time if we can (know I might change my mind on this). DH salary should steadily rise for the next 5 years too. We do like our meals out/takeaways once or twice a week and nice holidays. Someone recently said to us to enjoy our takeaways while we can afford them! Is it really the case?

I'm unclear why your childcare requirements are so low if you are both intending on working full time afterwards. Are you using parents to help out? Or are you planning on working your work hours around the baby from home? If the latter you need to be really realistic. You get virtually nothing achieved with a baby or toddler. Even returning to work part time can be challenging. Although your husband's salary may well go up, it might not necessarily or outrun the costs of childcare etc. When babies are young, the costs are mostly childcare. However, although childcare costs go down once they start school, there is still the cost of after-school clubs, holiday clubs for 14 weeks a year, cost of activities, and once they get passed two, then holiday and flight costs go up (and more so when tied to school holiday periods). That said, you'll find that you have less time to ever eat out nor will you want the same sort of holidays. Most kids are happy being on a beach in the UK. And if you want to cut your hours, you will find ways to make it work by reducing the frequency of takeaways etc. So you will manage. But be realistic (it's very hard when you don't know what lies ahead) and be flexible because your needs and wants will change. You just have to go for it though.

Offers of support and we work mostly opposing hours.

I got a new job while on mat leave & went from 35k to 65k - although went to 0.8 FTE so came out at 52k.

Even with the 11k per year nursery fees, I was still up by 6k.

I’m on about 75k ish now, but we live pretty frugal lifestyles. I buy most clothes & toys second-hand, use a toy library, and tend to meet up with friends/go to a stay & play rather than expensive classes. Swimming is the one thing we pay for.

Wow that’s an amazing promotion! Well done you x

No, ours has improved a lot due to raises and promotions at work.

My son is almost 2 and it really doesn't feel like he costs much at all. I spend money buying him toys and clothes of course but before he was born I spent a lot more money on nights out and socializing so it all evens out. Actually I probably spend less now.

We don't have childcare costs because we work different shifts and are blessed with extremely good and involved families on both sides.

Also get €140 a month child benefit (universal payment for all children here in Ireland) but that goes into an investment trust for our son's future.

In most cases I would say definitely yes. However what you are not currently anticipating is how you and your opinions will change when the baby is here. I assumed I’d just be my normal self but with a baby in tow, but your whole world changes. I cried leaving my baby with my Mum when he was about three months old to get highlights done. And there is no way on Earth I’d put a 9 month old in nursery for 30 hours a week. At 9 months old they can’t walk and 30 hours is pretty much all day, every day. My bet is your feelings will change when they arrive and that’s what you can’t plan for.

My fear was that you were going to say that you worked opposing hours. That will be extremely tough on you both. Sleep deprivation will make working full time hard enough, but then you will have long shifts of childcare alone without, presumably, the ability to tag team. Something has to give. Right now you need to imagine what it would be like to work 7 days a week 6-9pmish and be on call at night. As a family you need the weekends to give each other regular breaks and to also enjoy your time as a family together. I think that is your first mistake. You have overestimated the amount of time that you will need childcare for. Also, as others have said, even the 10 hours provided by the govt will cost more. The nurseries won't be able to give you 1 full day free childcare a week as the govt payments don't cover their costs, so they will need to supplement them. So you will have to sign up to 2 full days with additional expenses etc. It's also unlikely that the allowance will increase in the current economic climate. You might get 30 hours when your child starts preschool, although our preschool only offered 2.5 days (15 hours) once my son was 3.5 years old).

I just think that you both working full time whilst each also covering childcare alone for 2 days each would be too much. You'd soon get burnt out.

To clarify 6am to 9pm is fairly standard hours when you have a baby/toddler..even if they go to sleep at 7pm, there is so much cleaning up/housework to do. I don't usually sit down before 9pm each night.