Shit hole

[Lostmynames]

My house /garden is heading for a shit hole. I have had worse times of my house being a shit hole. I can see it's heading that way again. My 3 youngest children have been at my ex place since Friday evening. Adult ds came to visit yesterday. All I done that day is fix a leak, and start emptying the pool.

In my front garden is a massive cardboard box and polystyrene. It's looks a shit hole I'm meant to be taking it down to the large bins where I live . It's about 8 houses down. But doing it feels like the end of the world. Everyone else's front garden is spotless then there's mine.

I need to get on top of my washing that's just getting silly as well. I have 2 black sacks of my own washing. That includes duvets etc . I think I have 2 clean items I can wear. Plus all the kids washing . I have not even washed their uniform yet.

I need hoover 3 fights of stairs wipe all the banisters and skirting and door frames. All the white wood is really grubby and dirty.

I get breathless going up the stairs. And I get tired and feel really weak. Quickly so everything feels like it's the end of the world although it's probably not that bad. But the tiredness and drained feeling really gets to me. I saw gp about this a few days ago . Have been given folic acid. Retest bloods in a few months.

I want to feel a positive vibe but I just can't get there.

No its only my 16 year old here. He's asleep. And I want it to stay that way for now as its just more stress . I just want to be on my own.

You’ve done really well there! Massive improvement. Hedge cuttings moved, still not perfect but better x

Get yourself a brew, do your local council not collect bulky waste? Ours occasionally do 3 items free.

Can you start the pool and just leave it to do it’s thing?

That feels like alot 😭. Im not going to do their uniforms till this evening . I'm not 100% of where they have dumped it. Time I have checked the middle and top floor I will be to out of breath. The kids can find it, then it can dry over night.

I have done. But the bit where the water comes out like an outlet where I attach a hose and put it down the drain. It's not set low enough and it leaves about a foot of water in the bottom. It's a big pool so even though it's only a foot it's still alot of water. So I have to fuff about trying to get it as low as possible. And I have to clean and dry it all before I can fully take it apart and store it.

Well done OP, that looks much better. I'd spend 10 minutes pulling those weeds and finish off the front. Then you've done and finished a whole job and can cross it off your list. I'd also start a load of laundry that is accessible, then when your kids are home they can bring down their own laundry and you can work your way through that over the next week. I have a laundry basket in each of my kids rooms and they have to bring their laundry to the washer every Saturday. I wash and fold and put it back in their rooms for them to put away on Sunday. If you are struggling up the stairs could you fold it, put it in a basket and they could carry back to their rooms?

The real list is every weekend until Christmas and then some.

Me too. I've taken this coming week as holiday off work to do a massive sort-out and declutter, but realistically I can't see all of it getting done, not by a long chalk.

Will your 16 yr old move the stuff when he's up?
It's hard to keep on top of everything for a family with teenagers when you're doing it on your own.

Kids need to help out.

I know the weed thing is logic. But with the bending up and down the pulling etc I still get tired And breathless.

Yeah the kids can bring their washing down later . I will make sure their uniform gets washed. But their other washing they can bring down to the kitchen at least if it's there and I can wash it over the next few days

There issues with my 16 year old. Which i don't want to go into. That's a whole different thread.

That's an excellent idea with the laundry. I have long COVID, totally understand the lack of energy for a simple 10 minute job. Maybe tomorrow morning when you have a bit more energy. I've had to change my approach to house jobs when I got ill. I used to blitz on free days, but now I have to plan and do little and often with rests between tasks. I do a load of laundry every day, so it is in smaller chunks. I will clean toilets one day, but save the sinks for the next day. I put things on the stairs that need to go up and only take them when I'm going up for another reason. It's all about conserving energy really.

Yes that simlar to what I do. But it frustrates be to as I would love to blitz it. Doing it slowly feels like it's never done.

Now it's pissing with rain sk can't even put washing out

When I am behind with washing, which is most if the time, I wash the clothes, and hang them wet on to coat hangers, and hang them from curtain poles. Windows open, but it also means I don’t have to hang them when it’s time to put them away as it’s already done.

I hope you’re feeling lifted at seeing the difference in the garden, gather one load of washing for now and have a brew. Chill for an hour x

Well done for moving the stuff, it looks much better.

I completely understand, things feel so overwhelming when there is a lot to do and it's hard to know where to start.

I like to make lists so I can see what I have to do and I feel better when I have ticked an item off. I even add things like emptying the dishwasher as I know it has to be done but it feels like hard work.

I would give the cleaning a miss today, it's quite physical and you have already moved the boxes. Put it on tomorrows list.

I don't hang anything at all
I don't even have wardrobes . I'm gonna ask my younger kids later if they know what a coat hanger is. I'm not sure if they do. I have a couple of indoor airs and can hang stuff on the banisters for now.

I have had times where its Been so much worse. Clothes gone mouldy where I did not dry them. Just left them in a wet pile for weeks. Bedrooms have in such a state you can't see the floor . I don't want it to get that way again. I could see it might head that way again if I don't do something now.

That sounds difficult op. Where do you put all your clean clothes?

Do you want wardrobes? Have you looked on gumtree? Sometimes people give them away.

I just use drawers. I hate wardrobes. I live in tops and leggings. Nothing a really needs hanging. I will probably buy another chest of drawers though . Me and the 2 younger ones are sharing a 6 drawers chest. So I will get another one then that should be fine.

Kids on way home. Good bye peace 😭

I did manage to fold some if the kids clothes and out them away. Done 2 washes . Will do one more when kids are home.

Good going op. You achieved a lot

Better than nothing I guess.

I make a checklist on my phone using the notes app, make a list of absolutely everything no matter how small. If you can start ticking small things off it can help feel an achievement no matter how small. Small things can be like replace hand towel in bathroom with clean one, just a very small job. Don’t beat yourself up.

I wouldn't even look at it if it was on my phone 🤣

It is £3 a month, which I realise is a commitment that not everyone can justify, but I'm a huge fan of the rock the housework thing on patreon. They are like podcasts where the woman is telling you to do housework. Sounds mad but it's so useful for a) getting something actually done, b) not getting waylaid by something niche, c) feeling like you've done it. If you keep at it (esp doing what she calls Tomm - front room gets 30 mins on Monday, beds get 30mins on Tues etc etc), you do end up with a much more controllable house. And you don't feel nearly so guilty!