Argh, go for DC3??

[IcarusFlies]

I’ve umm-ed and ahh-ed about a third child for years. Finally we went for it (DH accepts it’ll make me happy but no burning desire to “risk” another, as he sees it). Two cycles, no pregnancy.

Just got back from a team building trip and realised how good I have it. Two healthy, happy DC, past the challenging baby stage.

Having chatted to colleagues, I feel so inferior. Suddenly want to take up sport, music, all the things I’ve never made time for. Now I can! But I’ve wanted to have that baby for ages, feel like I’ve had my head turned by 3 days in the sun with fun people.

What to do?! The potential age gap is only getting bigger. People regret family issues more than their career choices, typically. How can I know what will make me happy long term?

How old are you and what are the ages of your kids?

Listen to the voice telling you to have fun instead! 100 percent listen to that. You had your head turned quickly for a reason. Because actually, THAT is your heart’s desire.

You had to hum and ha about the baby thing. But you realised straight away what you really wanted as soon as you saw it, and that’s to start living for you again.

I’m 32, kids are 3.5 and 5.5.

Sorry, I’ve misrepresented the umm-ing, I was obsessed with another one for 3 years but DH was not keen. Now that the moment has come, I’m losing my enthusiasm! I can’t tell what’s my REAL heart’s desire…

It at least sounds like it would be worth pausing for 6 months or so to see how you feel.

Ah, you are young enough to take some time to properly think about it.

I can't imagine many regret a 3rd - or would admit to it - but my understanding is that the impact is huge.

You have had an awakening in terms of how your life could be enriched going forward.

A 3rd baby would delay that, plus the financial impact too.

Give it some time. Personally, I wouldn't. I stopped at 2 and so glad I did as things 'fit' in ways they wouldn't if they were 3.