Think my boss and I have a crush on each other - how to make it go away?!

[CrapBucket]

Argh. I seem to be in a situation where I logically know I don't fancy my boss, but I do seem to have a bit of a crush, how does that work?! I need to just never ever mention it, don’t I?

We are both single and both quite outgoing/friendly so I think it’s just nice being around a person that’s positive and supportive and good at what they do. But I really do not need the complication of this crush.

Say nothing, it will pass. Crushes do go away, in 6 months time you will probably be thinking 'what came over me??'
This too shall pass...

Explain how you ‘don’t fancy him’, but have a ‘crush’ nonetheless? Your title suggests you think it’s mutual, but you don’t mention this elsewhere — what makes you think this?

That’s the wierd thing, I don’t feel that ’pwoar’ thing just still get the kind of butterfly feeling… I don’t know how to explain it. He has said a couple of things when we have been at works social events (Ie slightly pissed) which is how I know it’s not one sided.

However. I will do and say nothing and let it pass! I like the job and all the people so I am not jeopardising that.

Possibly this is just part of me coming back to life after a shitty relationship and attaching feelings to someone safe and responsible, the opposite of my ex. Like when a newly hatched duckling imprints on the first thing it sees 🤣

Well done for not acting on it and fucking your career.
I did that in my younger years and it was a terrible idea!

Is this an unimportant job or an important job / career?

It’s important to me! It pays well, I like it, I have a future career path, training etc. I cannot be that woman who copped off with her boss.

(But it’s not important as in I don’t have loads of responsibilities or saving the planet or doing brain surgery)

If you're both single what's the problem?!

The problem is he’s my boss and colleague… loads to go wrong… and not enough reason to take a risk, it’s just a crush but I want to speed up the process and fast forward to NOT having a crush and still have the job I love including a nice boss.

Fucking someone in your direct management line is generally viewed pretty poorly by companies, plus what exactly do you plan to do if the two of you split up?

The expression "don't shit where you eat" exists for a reason.

Say nothing and carry on being friends? Maybe it will fade, maybe you will grow closer… key thing is don’t do anything (yet) !

Who said romance was dead @donkra?

Romance is great. Don't fuck your boss.

I think just follow your instincts. He could be the love of your life in which case maybe you can change jobs to avoid complications but it's more likely he's not and it will be awkward if something happens and more awkward if you split up.

God I’m sure he’s not the love of my life, don’t wish that on me lol! Literally just a crush that I don’t want to have. Hopefully it will evaporate soon.

Sounds like your minimising it and he's already step over the line when he's been drunk. A crush is fancying someone, wanting to be with them more isn't it? How can you be so sure he isn't the one for you?

I’m back self indulgently posting on my own thread just to keep telling myself this would be a terrible mistake!! Been spending a lot of time together and nothing has changed. Gaaah. I mean it is a lovely problem to have but it makes it difficult to concentrate sometimes.

So tell us some things about him, what is it you like about him? I don't have anyone crush-worthy at work so want to live vicariously through you!

I met the love of my life at work.

At the time it was wholly inappropriate and wasn't the right time, the right circumstance. It was all wrong...he wasn't though and I thank my lucky stars every day that job brought us together.

We both work at different places now (not as a direct result of our relationship) but that's life isn't it. You'll not work at the same place forever.

Just thought I'd give you a different slant on it 😊

I'm so curious to know what he said when he was slightly pissed that made you think it's mutual?

Just casually keep your eyes open for new jobs which you think you’d like that are a nice step up.

If you see one apply, hand in your notice, shag him at your leaving do 😀

I don’t want encouragement or to list nice things about him 😂 he’s just funny and kind and clever and all that stuff. But so are lots of other men who are not my boss! Also I don’t want a love of my life, I want to be single but potentially just with someone uncomplicated to shag now and then. This would not be uncomplicated!! I’m sure it’s mutual, we are both a bit touchy feely in an equal sort of way. And he makes the odd comment about how awesome I am, that sort of thing.

If I knew how to find someone else for shagging purposes all this would evaporate I’m sure.