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Original poster

Sexual dysfunction 6 months pp

25 replies

rockl0bster · 16/09/2023 07:25

Hello

I gave birth 6 months ago having a forceps/episiotomy. Episiotomy healed well, I don’t notice any pain at the scar site or anything like that. I EBF for 6 months and stopped 1 month ago (though was still able to express perhaps up to 2/3 weeks ago).

Basically, I no longer feel “aroused” in a normal way - it feels like I don’t have blood flow down below? I just don’t really feel turned on and sometimes sex feels like nothing. Like, I know it’s happening but my partner may aswell be touching my arm. When I “orgasm” it is very muted and boring. I have 0 incentive to masturbate despite previously being quite a sexual person. It is really distressing me.

I’ve been seeing a pelvic floor PT - I had a previous prolapse which I’ve recovered from and am back at the gym weightlifting. She think my PF function is now “too good” for kegels. She said there’s no tightness there. She suspects that the sexual dysfunction may be related to the pu dental nerve, but I have 0 symptoms of nerve pain. I can feel down below but everything just feels desensitised.

Help me! Can anyone relate? I am so upset by this. Is it hormonal? (My PF PT noted I was quite dry, suggesting my estrogen levels are still low. I also feel a bit emotionally numb and not able to cry properly which I’ve put to breastfeeding hormones). Any success stories?

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 16/09/2023 07:29

I think you’ll find it’s connected to breast feeding, and you only stopped expressing 1 week ago according to your OP. If I were you I’d leave them alone and let them completely dry up, then give it some time.

Original poster
rockl0bster · 16/09/2023 07:35

DustyLee123 · 16/09/2023 07:29

I think you’ll find it’s connected to breast feeding, and you only stopped expressing 1 week ago according to your OP. If I were you I’d leave them alone and let them completely dry up, then give it some time.

Edited

Thanks for the reply. I thought it was but i don't know how long hormones take to get back to normal and still feel just as asexual as I did when I was breastfeeding!

OP posts:
Original poster
rockl0bster · 16/09/2023 07:54

Has anyone else experienced this/can give me reassurance?!

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

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Antenatal & postnatal General health
SHM2407 · 16/09/2023 08:32

I've read that when you're breastfeeding you're almost in a menopausal state hormonally as your body doesn't want you having any more children at that moment as you're still feeding one. So your oestrogen is low, hence the vaginal dryness and your libido is low too as your body doesn't want you to get pregnant again.

Original poster
rockl0bster · 16/09/2023 08:51

Yeah I've read this too. So is this common in bf women? Do menopausal women struggle with orgasm and arousal? I stopped bf a month ago now so would have thought I'd go back to normal by this point but I guess not. Just hoping it's not permanent nerve damage or something from the forceps

OP posts:
Original poster
rockl0bster · 16/09/2023 08:59

rockl0bster · 16/09/2023 07:25

Hello

I gave birth 6 months ago having a forceps/episiotomy. Episiotomy healed well, I don’t notice any pain at the scar site or anything like that. I EBF for 6 months and stopped 1 month ago (though was still able to express perhaps up to 2/3 weeks ago).

Basically, I no longer feel “aroused” in a normal way - it feels like I don’t have blood flow down below? I just don’t really feel turned on and sometimes sex feels like nothing. Like, I know it’s happening but my partner may aswell be touching my arm. When I “orgasm” it is very muted and boring. I have 0 incentive to masturbate despite previously being quite a sexual person. It is really distressing me.

I’ve been seeing a pelvic floor PT - I had a previous prolapse which I’ve recovered from and am back at the gym weightlifting. She think my PF function is now “too good” for kegels. She said there’s no tightness there. She suspects that the sexual dysfunction may be related to the pu dental nerve, but I have 0 symptoms of nerve pain. I can feel down below but everything just feels desensitised.

Help me! Can anyone relate? I am so upset by this. Is it hormonal? (My PF PT noted I was quite dry, suggesting my estrogen levels are still low. I also feel a bit emotionally numb and not able to cry properly which I’ve put to breastfeeding hormones). Any success stories?

7 months ago this should say!*

OP posts:
GreenIsTheMagicColour · 16/09/2023 09:10

I'm in the same position 2 years after having my eldest. He's still BF so I'm hoping things will get better when I stop. I did notice a slight increase in sensation/libido when my period returned about 6 months ago though.

Original poster
rockl0bster · 16/09/2023 09:25

GreenIsTheMagicColour · 16/09/2023 09:10

I'm in the same position 2 years after having my eldest. He's still BF so I'm hoping things will get better when I stop. I did notice a slight increase in sensation/libido when my period returned about 6 months ago though.

Fair play to you for getting to 2 years. My period came back 3 months PP and still nothing really.

OP posts:
SHM2407 · 16/09/2023 09:26

rockl0bster · 16/09/2023 08:51

Yeah I've read this too. So is this common in bf women? Do menopausal women struggle with orgasm and arousal? I stopped bf a month ago now so would have thought I'd go back to normal by this point but I guess not. Just hoping it's not permanent nerve damage or something from the forceps

Yes definitely, I am 49 so this is something I am very interested in! Apparently 86% of post menopausal women have some sort of sexual issue - mainly either it hurts to have sex (due to dryness / atrophy) or that they just don't have the desire anymore. I am on quite a few Facebook groups about perimenopause etc and it's a big thing.

Original poster
rockl0bster · 16/09/2023 10:21

I had no idea. Honestly I feel quite ignorant of the female body - I realised this after pregnancy/childbirth. So much googling. I am a nurse too!!! Shows how little awareness there is in general society

OP posts:
TwoShades1 · 16/09/2023 11:03

No idea how to help. But I’m in the same position and I don’t think it’s breastfeeding related as I haven’t fed for over 2 year! I had a very good birth, no interventions, no tears, etc. but there is really reduced sexual sensation. Sometimes it feels ok and I orgasm. Sometimes But generally I could be writing a shopping a list during the sex. I can feel it, but it doesn’t give me any sexual pleasure.

Original poster
rockl0bster · 16/09/2023 11:46

TwoShades1 · 16/09/2023 11:03

No idea how to help. But I’m in the same position and I don’t think it’s breastfeeding related as I haven’t fed for over 2 year! I had a very good birth, no interventions, no tears, etc. but there is really reduced sexual sensation. Sometimes it feels ok and I orgasm. Sometimes But generally I could be writing a shopping a list during the sex. I can feel it, but it doesn’t give me any sexual pleasure.

Do you have a normal orgasm? And do you have much of a libido? Could it be PF weakness?

OP posts:
Original poster
rockl0bster · 16/09/2023 11:48

So depressing isn't it!!

OP posts:
WAC1 · 16/09/2023 12:11

I wouldn't call this 'sexual dysfunction'
Sounds very normal. We got some 'yes lube' which helped loads! 1.5 years pp and she's life just like before. Probably took about a year to feel ready to initiate. Coincidentally when my son started sleeping through 😂

Original poster
rockl0bster · 16/09/2023 13:08

It definitely feels like dysfunction! Fair enough to have no energy for sex but even masturbation feels bad/like nothing and I miss the relaxation it gave me

OP posts:
Bunny2021 · 16/09/2023 13:11

I was totally the same. Felt completely desensitised for a while. I bought a vibrator and we introduced that. It helped “kick start” things again.

CurlewKate · 16/09/2023 13:13

Do you actually want to have sex? Is your partner being patient? Lots of foreplay?

Original poster
rockl0bster · 16/09/2023 14:13

Bunny2021 · 16/09/2023 13:11

I was totally the same. Felt completely desensitised for a while. I bought a vibrator and we introduced that. It helped “kick start” things again.

Thanks for the encouragement. My PF pt advised I do the same. How long did it take until you felt back to normal? Were you bf?

OP posts:
Original poster
rockl0bster · 16/09/2023 14:36

CurlewKate · 16/09/2023 13:13

Do you actually want to have sex? Is your partner being patient? Lots of foreplay?

He's being exceptionally patient. It's not just that I'm not interested in sex, I just don't feel sexual at all and don't get aroused. When I orgasm it is incredibly muted

OP posts:
Original poster
rockl0bster · 16/09/2023 18:55

Flowers for any advice/reassurance. Would go to GP but appointments impossible and don't want to waste their time with non emergencies!!

OP posts:
TwoShades1 · 17/09/2023 04:20

rockl0bster · 16/09/2023 11:46

Do you have a normal orgasm? And do you have much of a libido? Could it be PF weakness?

Show quote history

No it’s not the same are pre birth. Absolutely no libido, nothing. Pelvic floor is pretty good I think. Can easily jump on trampolines, cough,
sneeze without any issue. I ride horses and don’t have any issue there either.

TulipVictory · 17/09/2023 04:28

I'd say this is normal, whilst I was breastfeeding I honestly thought my vagina had fallen off and ran away somewhere 🤣

Original poster
rockl0bster · 17/09/2023 09:33

TulipVictory · 17/09/2023 04:28

I'd say this is normal, whilst I was breastfeeding I honestly thought my vagina had fallen off and ran away somewhere 🤣

That's how I feel! Stopped a month ago though and still nothing!

OP posts:
Notsadaboutit · 17/09/2023 09:39

It will be mental/emotional and hormonal. I didn't BF but I had PND after both DC and had a fear of being pregnant again after DC2. The last thing I wanted was sex.

I was on the pill for ten years before having DC. I was unable to go back on the pill after DC (blood pressure, age etc). Since not being on any contraception, my sex drive is much, much higher and feels much better IYSWIM. Just a shame I am now single.

Teats4twins · 17/09/2023 10:09

I have had the same problem, breastfeeding twins 9 months pp now. Had zero libido for most of it, but as twins started weaning I have had flutters here and there. Had one period 2 months ago but nothing again. And it's very dry and uncomfortable. I also think sleep deprivation has a lot to do with it for me. Not having much time for each other so it's always very rushed / knowing a baby might cry any minute is a bit of a turn off too. Hoping it gets better once the baby stage is done.

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