Do you ever wish you didn’t move away from home?

[Shabique]

Moved away for uni at 18 and never went back to my home town. Lots of friends stayed. Tried to keep in touch but our worldview and experiences were totally different. Moved to London for a professional career. Earn 10x more than I ever would in my hometown. But I don’t have that sense of community or belonging?

Yes it’s great I can afford to fly business class but it’s the little things that matter really. No one knows who my nan is or no one happens to know my cousin.

I moved away for about 25 years and moved back a year ago. I’m not totally back but fairly close by in a place I have lived in before. I’ve got a real sense of being home and it has been a really positive move. I think possibly as with a pp it is to do with losing my parents.

I only moved 25 miles away. But as I moved from a small suburban town to central London it does feel a long way from home. Almost as though I'm
in another country. I don't miss my home town or yearn for it at all. But I'd love all my family to live nearby me.

Yes simply because my parents are now old and frail and I'm too far away to help them. It breaks my heart.

Yes.
I even look at properties back in my home town where my DM lives and where siblings live just 5 miles away from her.
Its all changed so much though, and I really don’t know anyone but my family members now.

Everyday.

Fuuuuuck noooooooo. My hometown is parochial and small-minded. I live in an endlessly fascinating world city stacked with adventure, and I have lots of friends and connections in it. All that's left where I was born is my parents anyway. My friends and siblings all went to uni and from there on to better things.

No, left home at 17. Left the country at 22. Would never want to go back to my hometown or the UK.
I’ve now lived abroad longer than I lived in the UK.

I left my hometown for good shortly after I had finished uni back in 1988. I've only been back for short visits ever since.

I don't regret it per se and I still do quite like the town itself but there were no job opportunities for me there and it remains a depressed area. Also, I had met my DH whilst at uni and he was a Londoner. Plenty of work opportunities there so it made sense for me to move, which I am glad I did.

My parents continued to live in my hometown so visits were made. My mother is still alive and still in the same house so I go to see her for a few days each month. It is about 3 hours away from us.

I did get quite sad about the distance as my parents aged and their health declined etc. It has made things more difficult. I don't think I would return to live there though.

Complicated and mixed feelings about it I guess.

Yes, I can relate to this. But I do remember how bored I was in my hometown. I wanted to live somewhere more exciting so I moved to a different county. Ended up moving back to my home county 15 years ago.

No. Left my town at 18 and never been back for more than a few days. Have almost no happy memories of the place. There could have been the issue of elderly parents but they moved up to the next village to me 2 years ago.
Haven't kept in touch with anyone from my old town and no regrets about that either.
I think it's important to leave the area you were born in and find a life for yourself, DHs family all stay in the same town their whole lives and are incredibly insular, no interest or knowledge about the outside world and actively dissuade their DC from spreading their wings. Extremely claustrophobic and I hope DD closes to leave and explore new areas once she gets to 18.

Nope.

I love the anonymity of London. I am very happy seeing my parents every few weeks, I really don't want to be so close that they're always popping in.

I grew up in a city with plenty of opportunities so I could have stayed but I didn't and neither did the vast majority of my schoolfriends.

I can’t imagine restricting my life to where I happened to have been born. I spent from 18 to 49 living overseas and moving frequently —I like nothing better than a new challenge and a new language/culture. We were living in England and not liking it much after Brexit, and I was ready to move on from my job, and when DH was headhunted for a job in our home city, we jumped at the chance to raise our DS somewhere smallish but still a proper city, buzzy with good festivals and music, by the sea, and with a friendly, cosmopolitan vibe, and around extended family. We’ll stay here till he goes to university, but I imagine he’ll head off to see the world and DH and I will probably move on again.

In short, I like where I’m from, but I never considered staying there.

I don't know how you can stay in your hometown forever without having an ever growing sense of curiosity about what it might be like to live elsewhere. I've
lived in 6 towns/cities within about a 300 mile radius of my hometown. We've stayed in this town for almost 20 years now and only because, having lived in five different counties, I know that this one feels most like
home. My Mum and siblings all live within 10 mins of each other, but it's quite a boring town and much as I love them, I won't be restricted to that town forever to
be in close proximity to them.

When the kids we under 5 yes, mainly for missing family, but not now, where we live offers much more opportunities for them than where we are from. We're from a very rural area, beautiful, but that's about the extent of it; awful healthcare, schooling, work opportunities, you have to travel over an hour to anything of interest. I quite like the anonymity of my neighbours not knowing everything about my life like my home town did!

Yes and no. I also moved for my career and have earned far more than I ever could have back in the seaside town I grew up in. I’m in a limbo place currently. Retired early but awaiting DH who can’t retire for another two years. So I’m doing voluntary work and have joined some societies which is great. But my two lifelong friends are back in my hometown, they have moved back in the last couple of years. It’s only since they have returned I feel a pull. Though it wouldn’t be the same, no more chatting and getting told off on the reading mat by Miss Taylor or going to the community centre disco.

I will probably stay a month in my hometown over next couple of years with various friends and relatives, 5 nights max at each so I don’t overstay. Plus I am a respectable guest, always take my hosts out to a restaurant of their choice plus buy and cook dinner another night.

it’s the kind of place that has a lot of holiday homes, I could buy one but I know how shit it is for locals so I won’t.

Nope, never even considered staying there.

I grew up away from my extended family though - my parents moved 300 miles away from where they grew up (from Doncaster to Sussex) when I was a child. So moving back to Sussex would still mean nobody knew my Nan or was my cousin!

It’s quite nice to visit my mum with DS, and do stuff with him that I did as a child (Drusillas! Birling Gap! Pevensey Castle! For people who grew up in Sussex). But nope, I have never been tempted to move there. I don’t really like rural living, or being dependent on a car. Prefer living in a city.

We lived abroad for a couple of years and I did find that was a bit too far away - mostly because I didn’t want DS growing up not seeing much of DM. That was what made us move back really.

I can imagine how you feel.

I’ve had the life some people would hate. My brother and mum couple doors away, all mine and dh family within a mile or so. Kids went to the same school as me. Literally seem to know everyone.

Decorator just popped by, realised his dad and my mum are cousins. That sort of thing happens all the time. Plasterer came the other day, it was all ‘remember Fred from school, he married Sheila’ or ‘yes Jim’s keeping well, he lives two doors away’ etc etc.

Some people’s idea of a nightmare! I love it 😊

Today, in particular, yes I really do regret it.

I wonder if you lived where I still live! It matches the description, though no doubt there are many!

Bit of both, left at 19 and have lived and worked all over the country. Now settled in a city which is a great place to bring up kids, have lovely friends, job as flexible as they come in my area. Am happy here, could move but don't want to.

I grew up a long way from my own grandparents and didn't think it really mattered much, but actually it would be nice for the children to be a bit nearer as they have a lovely relationship. It would have been nice to be less far away when both kids were in hospital and when I was expecting DS2. And would be lovely to have willing free babysitters for the odd dinner out. Feels cheeky to ask when they've travelled to visit, although they do usually say yes and also offer when we visit them.

The place I grew up was a good place to be a child - great schools, good public transport into London. In my late teens and 20s the town would have felt stifling and boring but now I can see it's got a lot going for it. It's one of those towns you move to when you have kids for more space and schools to commute into London. I love the city I live more and it's slightly cheaper but it has crossed my mind what life would be like moving back.

I moved away, but moved back.

Leaving was essential to my mental health and personal and professional growth. I am grateful to be given the life i have and feel I am better for it. If youre regretting leaving because you can’t get on the property ladder, then… um…. You need to do other things with your time. There’s so much life has to offer.

It’s six and two threes. I’m deeply envious of the far cheaper house prices and better schools, complete with gorgeous geography and family help on tap (I’m from NI). But there are no jobs there for me and it’s very stifling/keeping up with the Jones’. I also think it’s very backwards with regards to sex stereotypes.

But when I am running from pillar to post, in a household trying to hold down 2 full time jobs with no help, yes, I do regret it.

I'm glad I don't live where I grew up (Cornwall) as it was too rural and remote for me. However, since having DC, I wish my parents and other family members were closer. When the DC were little, it would have been amazing to have some hands on help (and my parents would have loved to provide it) and now the DC are teens, I think they would have a better relationship if they saw them regularly for an hour or so rather than an intense few days every few months. I'm also becoming increasingly aware of how hard it is going to be as my parents get older & need more support. As I get older, I'm also more conscious that, whilst I have great friends where I live, no one knows me before I had DC. It's slightly odd somehow.