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Original poster

Small party- this is ok, isn’t it?

13 replies

Sprinkletoes · 15/09/2023 18:35

DS was 7 this week. His party is tomorrow.

He doesn’t seem to have made any solid friendships since he started school. He invited 4 boys to his party- at our house, to play some games and have cake.

One can‘t make it, so there will only be 3 guests.
I asked if he wanted to invite anyone else to make up for the boy who can’t come, but he doesn’t.

I know this is ok, and I know DS will be happy. But I can’t help but feel guilty- most of his classmates have had whole class parties and we won’t be returning the favour. And I won’t be giving DS a big party, just something small and simple.

Who else does small parties for their DC?

OP posts:
ReadyForPumpkins · 15/09/2023 18:44

If there are only 3 of them, you can put them all in the car and take them somewhere instead? Once they are older, it’s very common to have small parties. I take the kids out to go ape, climbing wall, ice skating, that kind of thing. Finish with a McDonald’s or Pizza Hut. It doesn’t cost more than a large party.

ReadyForPumpkins · 15/09/2023 18:45

What I’m saying is that it’s totally ok to only have a few over.

xyz111 · 15/09/2023 18:53

Who do you feel guilty too?

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Angelik · 15/09/2023 18:57

Of course it's OK. I never had whole class parties. Always felt it was too much when the reality is they're friends with just a handful. Nevermind the expense! His party should be what he wants. I wld consider doing an activity though, then some kind of junk food followed by cake and comp games at your hse.

IsItThough · 15/09/2023 19:06

He is having the birthday celebration he wants and it sounds lovely.

Mine all preferred little parties at home (and later trips/activities with a few friends) They all found the big whole class hall/soft play thing overwhelming.

I'd make sure they feel like it is an occasion though, in some way. Not just a playdate. Whether that's the food, or going out for icecreams or some silliness.

Mahoosive parties won't consolidate friendships.

AltheaVestr1t · 15/09/2023 19:06

My daughter's class (or old class, as she has just started secondary school) were big on parties, some months there would be 5+ parties and it could be a bit of a pain. Even so, they were not considered mandatory by any means. Not all children enjoy big parties, not all families want to host them, some families can't afford them. DD had a big party some years but fancied a smaller thing on others. So don't worry, it's entirely up to you!

Sunshineclouds11 · 15/09/2023 19:07

Absolutely fine.

What is your plan?

Original poster
Sprinkletoes · 15/09/2023 19:27

Thanks for the reassurance. They are all really into hot wheels so we’re going to set up some tracks and have car related games etc.

And you’re right, DS has always been quite overwhelmed at the big parties. I can imagine having his own big party would not be as enjoyable for him as a small one.

We live far away from DH family, and my family are not remotely interested. My sibling sent a happy birthday whatsapp, but it appears my parents didn’t remember at all. So I just want to give him the best party I can to try to make up for it

OP posts:
Positive41 · 15/09/2023 21:41

My DC have been to whole class parties which were always chaotic on the whole. The small party they went to only have 6 kids and it was the best by far. The kids all played together and the mums sat on one table and had a good chat, even though we didnt really know each other.

Simplelobsterhat · 15/09/2023 22:07

My son only had 3 friends to his recent at home birthday. That's all he wanted as they are his good friends. We did do a couple of things I wouldn't have done with bigger groups - created own pizzas for tea and played Mario Kart on the switch. Also a water fight in the garden. He really enjoyed it as it was the people he is really comfortable with. We found it somehow far more exhausting the the previous years whole class softplay! We called it a birthday tea rather than party to manage expectations,but in the end we did party bags, balloons etc. It was lovely.

LaRevolution · 15/09/2023 22:10

This is absolutely fine and both my kids would be delighted to either have this or to attend it. You will feel relieved and slightly.smug at the end of it all 😁

IsItThough · 15/09/2023 22:46

Ooh hotwheels is the best
Set it all up and let it take over a whole room with balloons all about
Party bags is a nice touch if you still have time- doesn't have to be fancy, a few sweets and a little car to take home
It will be fab.

IsItThough · 15/09/2023 22:46

(I think I might miss the mild stress of organising a small child's party, sort of)

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