I earn £81,000…

[Sueretiredawhileago]

And (although clearly I am not on the breadline and understand how lucky I am compared to others) I have very little spare money. I am a single (co) parent and I live in London so mortgage is a lot. I used to have loads spare and felt ‘well off’ but now I’ve had to cut down on all the little spending I once never gave a thought to. No quick coffees, pastries for breakfast, no brunches, no magazines, new lipsticks etc etc.

If I can’t afford these things I don’t understand how ‘they’ keep saying that consumer spending is still strong and driving inflation. Who the hell has the spare money??!!!

Living in one, I agree it does, but the lack of mortgage is a relevant factor regardless. Ours is only in the five figures and barely £500 a month, but that money would still go a long way if I didn't have to spend it!

You take home about £1k more per month than I do. Your mortgage is £500 per month more and you have a commute that I don’t. So let’s say that £1k you earn more than me is taken up in that so we are equal. I have £1500 spare per month after my outgoings, which does include a small contribution of £350 from X to help with DCs. But I run a car and if you commute you might save on that.

where is your money going? I will save £1000 per month of that £1500 and I’ll def keep on top of my hair!

DH can't do his job outside London. We did consider it in the pandemic but now DH has been told to be in the office at least 3 days a week, plus he travels. He is in his 50s so hard to find a comparable job. No childcare costs but uni costs, mortgage gone up etc etc.

Oh well. I bought my first MAC lipstick only when I was 45, so I don't miss them that much. Rimmel will do me until things pick up. IF they do.

I am shopping for clothes in Sainsburys now- I have another thread- and I am determined to enjoy it!

Did I say that? No I didn’t. Take that chip off your shoulder and try again. 🙄

I'm in the same shows OP. I earn close to £90k and have no kids, but live in London and I'm struggling to keep life together!

Does the father of your children contribute much?
I think spending is down overall as people are expecting a recession sometime soon ( may not happen) and are preparing themselves for the worst and also because of COL increases

OP I totally understand what you mean. I am also a single parent and I work part time and live in a home county area. My pay is less than yours about £54K; about 5 years ago I was able to live fairly comfortably on that with a bit of money left over for luxuries, now money is super tight and I feel I have cut every single luxury from my life.

I’m not brilliant with money and could probably spend a little less on groceries etc. if I was more organised but I have bipolar disorder and ADHD and find it really difficult to run things on a super super tight budget as I sometimes lose a lot of time to depression black holes basically then realise there is an urgent need for something eg for my child at school or whatever and have to order something last minute at high prices. Or really have to go somewhere eg to buy my child’s school uniform before going back to school imminently, but can’t face going on the bus due to having a bad depression day and end up taking a taxi etc. Kind of pay an ADHD/bipolar tax there and it annoys me about myself that I can’t be better at this but I also try not to be too unrealistic and unkind to myself, as things go I am doing well for someone with these disabilities holding me back.

I am going to have to take up more work and I guess it’s good I can pull on that lever in a way, but also a big part of my limiting my work hours is that the job is super intense and stressful and involves plenty of unpaid uncounted work hours that are also expected as an unwritten rule, and with my bipolar disorder and ADHD I can get very depressed when I am overly stressed. However it’s getting to the point that I’m so stressed about money then maybe the extra hours at work will be less of a stress and I really miss being able to cater for at least the occasional want rather than need for myself and my child.

Anyway like you I think OK I am still in a relatively privileged financial position and if I am struggling to afford small luxuries, I don’t know how the economy is still surviving, I’m so surprised if I do go to the local shopping mall by how many people are out spending and having meals out etc. I struggle to budget for a cinema trip these days let alone a meal out and I just don’t look at the shops anymore. It definitely feels all quite miserable and pointless slaving away for just the basics of life at the minute, but I try to remind myself that I’m paying off my mortgage partly so that my child will have options in the future and especially being an only child therefore hopefully won’t find things as difficult financially as I have. I definitely understand the term “mortgage slave” now😭And I’d love to move somewhere cheaper but can’t due to child custody stuff.

However like others have said there are lots of people who are very well paid, are baby boomers with generous retirement schemes or people who have inherited wealth and eg have maybe paid off their mortgage and own their house outright; I’d certainly be a whole lot better off without my mortgage tying me down especially since the Truss fiasco. I also think as the younger generation have genuinely really struggled to move out of mum and dad’s, they often only have to pay nominal rent and bills to their parents and therefore have quite a bit of disposable income if they’re not saving madly for their own property. And there are definitely people who don’t have the money but put stuff on credit anyway as well. That can’t go on forever though. I basically think it’s mostly people significantly older and younger than me, plus the top one percent.

We live in London, own a 2 bed flat and earn less than you. But combined is £120k. We go on 7 holidays per year and eat out a lot. No kids.

But I don't think either you or I are high earners, the only reason for the spare discretionary income is the fact we have no dependents and two incomes, no car and a modest flat in zone 3 (though in a nice area). Something must go, I suppose and we would rather have the spare disposable income.

It must be a London thing

Alas, it can be done. Thanks for proving my point.

People like dh and i? Household income comes in around 300k mark including bonuses. Live outside London, 2 kids, mortgage isn't huge huge

We also have always been relatively thrifty so have a lot of savings etc and not worried at all about rate rises.

Is that because you don’t have a mortgage?

Yeah, but does this person need to pay rent/mortgage? And they are unlikely to need to pay childcare

Quite a few posters talk about their combined incomes being less that OPs and that OP should therefore not be struggling. However, with the way the tax system works, 2 salaries each at 36k net of tax is approx the same as 81k net of tax. Also, unlike people on 36k, OP won't get any child benefit and being a single person she has 100% of the outgoings of the household.

Frankly, it really bugs me that single parents earning 50k or more lose out on child benefit whereas a couple each on 49k qualify. This seems bonkers when the couple will most likely have lower childcare requirements as there are two of them to share the childcare burden.

The half arsed means testing of child benefit is idiotic. Not least because of the lack of evidence that it actually saves any money once administrative costs are factored in.

More to do with living in an affordable part of the UK as the mortgage wasn't big to begin with.

I find it curious that people can earn that much but not be aware of life outside Their area.

How the fuck are you eating so much whilst being so unaware

Amazing isn't it.

While you're absolutely right that people like you do have the money to spend on those things. But you're wrong to say you're the answer to OP's question. Bluntly, there really aren't that many of you out there.

I think you’ll find it’s more to do with not having a mortgage or young children. Does it make you seem superior to be so smug?

Credit cards

I think there's nothing smug at all. I have several children and loads of health problems. Carry on making judgements....

My point still stands that living in a cheaper part of the UK is sound advice and will save a fortune to those who are struggling. It doesn't have to be a struggle.

You have no children - which probably explains why you don’t seem to understand that having a child costs more than just needing an extra bedroom 😂

This person still does have a mortgage yes. Pretty obviously no childcare costs now. Did run a one adult/4 kids household for many years, did her best to help two through Uni. Basically drove self into ground to rear her family. So it is nice to have a few treats now. My son in London has advised that my pension wont go far down there lol! Point is, there is always potential for life to change and we are not to be valued by the coin in the Bank.

Your mortgage is too large for your income if you are struggling on £81k.