I am married now to a great guy who in the 20 years we have been together has never let me down. However when I was single and dating most of the guys I dated were disappointing. Sure they were often funny, smart, good looking and so on but the majority of them had nothing much to bring to a relationship.
Some of that is probably due immaturity which when they were young was fair enough but even at that age I could have picked out the guys I dated who would go on to get married i.e. those guy who were to me then apparently decent men but we just weren't quite gelling. The other guys who to the best of my knowledge remain mostly single were just never good boyfriends at all.
They always seemed to be really into me until they "got me" and shortly thereafter would be looking over my shoulder for the next prospect to come along, telling me that I wasn't quite thin, pretty or cool enough for them, there was often some lingering woman in the background who was the one they really loved but couldn't have. I know this is a fantasy because I became that lingering woman ( I really didn't linger) for an ex of mine who went on to use that fantasy to torment his next girlfriend when in fact he treated me like crap and dumped me when he thought some other girl was interested (she wasn't).
When I met my now husband it was shock really to have a guy so present and engaged in the relationship, no he didn't "love bomb" me like the other guys but he showed by his actions that me and us being together was important to him, he was happy to be with me and not always looking back to some prior heartbreak or letting me know about all the much better women he could be with.
Now in my 40's with a few female friends re-entering the dating world and encountering the same kinds of behaviour from the men they meet online and elsewhere that we all did in our teens and 20's I am wondering if there are a lot of men who never grow out of this? I would say that about 2/3 of the men I dated when I was single fell into this category but friends claim that most guys on online dating are like this now.
Do you think this is just a pretty standard kind of guy you get? Talks a good game but has nothing really to offer to a woman in terms of being a partner but still feels entitled to keep women dangling on a string while always on the look out for something a bit "better" than what they currently have? It just reeks of entitlement to me.
I am a bit annoyed at the moment as a friend has just had her heartbroken by a guy after 18 months and another after 3 years. Most of the women I know would make great partners but so many men just have so little to offer and I'm not talking about money or status but about actually being a partner, working to make a life together. I think there are good men out their but that meeting one at the right time is just a matter of luck more than anything.
It just seems kind of sad to me that so many men have just never grown up in this respect and are still behaving like immature teens when it comes to relationships! If they don't want a relationship that's fine but they shouldn't be on the apps and lying to the women that they do want a relationship when what they want is a comfort blanket they can pick up and discard as they see fit.