Sandwhich generation - advice needed

[Rainraingoawaycomebackanotherday]

I wasn’t sure if I should put this in elderly parents or parenting.

I’m feeling totally overwhelmed. My Mum who has MS has been in hospital for 5 weeks. She has had a fall and is unlikely to walk again. I’m visiting 3 times a week, visiting my Dad once a week and ringing/texting them both daily. Visiting is difficult as she has been quite unwell and distressed/down. I have young children, my oldest is going through a difficult phase, she doesn’t like change, had a loads of hospital appointments for a range of minor issues and is struggling with me only doing 1 in 4 bed times now due to visiting my Mum.

I feel pulled in so many different directions and I’m feeling fragile today. Does anyone have any words of wisdom or advice please?

That all sounds very stressful.
All I can think of is there anyone else who can visit your mum and maybe your dad too? If there’s no other family you can contact Friends of the hospital your mum is in, they might have volunteers who’ll sit and chat with her. Or Age UK, or RVS ( was the women’s royal voluntary service)
Same for your dad. There may also be lunch clubs etc he could go to, transport is sometimes provided.
You might have a local organisation specifically for older people ( Google) I know there’s one in my local town.

My sister visits too. We have a difficult relationship as she thinks I don’t do enough and is unhappy that I can’t visit Mum on certain days due to my kids activities. Her children are older so they don’t need an adult with at all times.

My Mum has continence issues at the moment and is often feeling unwell so doesn’t want others visiting.

My Dad is OK in terms of getting himself out and about, having coffee with the neighbours but I will suggest again the club for retired men which he has considered before.

Thanks for the ideas.

Come and join us in the cockroach cafe on the elderly parents board. You are not alone and you will get understanding, support and a little humour.

What I will say, is that it is very important that you carve out a space for yourself. You cannot be everything to everyone, and nor should you try.

Take some time to work out what you need, what support you are willing and able to offer your parents, and remember that young kids are yiur priority.

Delegate anything you can, and support your parents to look into what help they can get.

I, and others in the cockroach cafe, know all about the impact on your physical and mental heath, of all this. You are every bit as important in all this.

NB your mother is in hospital and in safe hands so it's the perfect time to catch a breath. Very best wishes to you!