To have realised I'm actually happier with a smaller group of friends, less socialising

[Twoyearson1]

As I hit 50, I came to realise that I'm no longer interested in having to keep attending events/parties/ meeting up with people who I consider acquaintances, not true friends, any more.

I have good friends of many years whose company I enjoy, but we can go months without seeing each other but then love catching up when we do.

I used to have the fear of missing out, now it's the joy of missing out, love nothing more than being at home with a good book.

Can anyone else relate to this?

I am the same. I used to try and have as many friends as I could, I would burn myself out trying to see them all and it would take up all of my time outside of work. Now I have a small circle (although my small circle tell me it's still bigger than theirs!) And I'm more relaxed. I see them when I can, it's not all the time though. And once a year I get them all together (one to make it easier for me and two, they have started to all be friends) my life is calmer and I'm def happier.

I think these things change during our life and you should do what suits you now. I've found friends and a busy life are more important now I'm widowed and in my 50s but they're not the people I knew when I was young. Different people for different phases.

Yes, very much, nothing bad or wrong with this at all.

I don't find it unusual I find it strange that some people have such wide social circles. I've always been happy with my family and home. We have a small number of good friends, some mine, some OHs, some mutual. Lockdown was good for us as we were happy at home not going out.

I am the same. My best friends are people I knew aged 11. We live all over the world but manage to meet up now and again. Often for a couple of days with our families. It’s lovely. Similarly, we meet DH’s uni friends occasionally.

I have other friends I’ve made along the way who are good friends, but no group of friends.

Apart from ‘old’ friends who we see rarely. Socialising for me is meeting a friend for a meal, theatre or walk once a month or so. Or having people to supper. I love that.

No, I’m actively adding friends at 51, having moved countries a couple of years ago. DH and I went to an event last weekend that involved a mass dinner at big tables with 100 people, and met some great people — came away with lots of phone numbers of people we’re planning to see again.

This is Mn, though — if you said you hadn’t spoken, by choice, to anyone but the cats in 2023, there would be people who thought you were a social butterfly.

I think it all boils down to what makes you happy really.

I'm 53 & I have a wide circle of friends & I am very mindful of making sure to maintain it. We're entering that next phase of life where dc is in last year of school so this time next year could look very different for us.

I have a busy job which in itself is sociable & dh & I have a good balance of doing stuff together & also doing stuff with friends both individually & together

I also love to read & am very happy in my own company but I feel life is very short & I am too young to spend most of it at home yet