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Original poster

I snogged at stranger very publically at friend's wedding

51 replies

Privatelyliving · 14/09/2023 23:21

I'm a widow, for various reasons this was my first real attempt at getting back "out there" since DH died. And didn't I do it with panache?

Made a proper exhibition of myself with a very good looking man much younger than me. I think it came from him initially, but I couldn't really give you all the details. It was fun but really!

Anyway practically everyone I know, outside of my family, was there, including some much more eligible men from my circle who may or may not have been interested. I've kind of had a feeling that some men have been circling for a while, but holding back because of my fairly recent widowhood (just 2 years).

So, will my exhibition have put everyone off or will they take it as a signal that I'm back in the market, as it were?

OP posts:
Calmdown14 · 15/09/2023 08:00

Sometimes we just need a sign that there is life still to be lived.

It may not have been your finest hour but it's all part of the journey through life. You are entitled to have a bit of fun if you want to and to remind yourself you can still have those feelings.

I am a firm believer in the need to kiss a few frogs. You've a lot of emotional baggage to process and often it's better to get this out of the way with someone who isn't suitable. You have probably learned a lot about your contrasting feelings around this and if nothing else, you've got the potential shock that you might be with someone else out of the way (in spectacular style!) for friends and family.

It will make moving on eventually with someone more suitable easier. And as PP said, if this puts off any of the circlers they are not worth having anyway.

Oblomov23 · 15/09/2023 08:51

Now we know you didn't get your baps out, Grin, the rest sounds ok. Smile

BadHairBae · 15/09/2023 09:17

Good for you! Sounds fab

EarringsandLipstick · 15/09/2023 09:23

I'm a bit cross with my close friends who knew I was struggling that night (the reason I threw myself into it!) and just let me get on with it, but I think they thought good for you, have some fun.

It might be worth opening up to them about what support you need? I know they knew you were struggling, but as you said, they might have seen this as a sign you were feeling happier, and having some fun.

It's all fine, and no one did anything wrong but if you feel a bit vulnerable, maybe worth getting them on site.

I hope you are doing ok overall 💐

Original poster
Privatelyliving · 15/09/2023 09:29

EarringsandLipstick · 15/09/2023 09:23

I'm a bit cross with my close friends who knew I was struggling that night (the reason I threw myself into it!) and just let me get on with it, but I think they thought good for you, have some fun.

It might be worth opening up to them about what support you need? I know they knew you were struggling, but as you said, they might have seen this as a sign you were feeling happier, and having some fun.

It's all fine, and no one did anything wrong but if you feel a bit vulnerable, maybe worth getting them on site.

I hope you are doing ok overall 💐

I am, thank you and my friends have been an amazing support. There's a core group of 5 who have really shown me how to live again after the people I thought were my friends disappeared after he died

OP posts:
EarringsandLipstick · 15/09/2023 09:32

I'm so glad you have that support - and sorry that you were let down by erstwhile friends when you needed them. 😔

User63847439572 · 15/09/2023 09:32

If you were having a drunken snog there’s a high chance that some of the onlookers you’re worried about were also very drunk. I wouldn’t worry about it! Can’t be helped now

Original poster
Privatelyliving · 15/09/2023 09:34

Weird thing is whilst the memories are a bit muddled in terms of order, I don't think I was that drunk. At the end of the evening it was me who was organising the taxi and rounding everyone up.

Definitely a lot of the others had been drinking too but there were quite a few drivers.

OP posts:
mindutopia · 15/09/2023 09:40

I can't imagine anyone even remembers it now. It's very much a non-event. Lots of people get a bit merry at weddings and do all sorts of things.

My maid of honour shagged one of dh and I's close (male) friends on the sofa at the holiday cottage that my family rented for the weekend (maid of honour was staying there). An auntie of mine (in her 60s) tossed them a condom down the stairs as it started heating up and wished them well. Everyone knew it happened but no one cared.

Original poster
Privatelyliving · 15/09/2023 09:44

mindutopia · 15/09/2023 09:40

I can't imagine anyone even remembers it now. It's very much a non-event. Lots of people get a bit merry at weddings and do all sorts of things.

My maid of honour shagged one of dh and I's close (male) friends on the sofa at the holiday cottage that my family rented for the weekend (maid of honour was staying there). An auntie of mine (in her 60s) tossed them a condom down the stairs as it started heating up and wished them well. Everyone knew it happened but no one cared.

Oh they remember, I'm taking a lot of (good natured) stick over it 😆

OP posts:
eveoha · 15/09/2023 09:49

Hello OP - what you experienced is a phenomenon called ‘widow’s fire’ - perfectly natural after a bereavement 👍🏿☘️

HermioneKipper · 15/09/2023 09:56

You sound lovely OP and if anyone judges you for letting your hair down after you’ve had a dreadful time then they’re not your friends.

Nothing wrong with a good snog when a bit pissed! Many a great night has gone this way 🤣

Anyone judging is just jealous you smooched a hot man!

Summerslimtime · 15/09/2023 10:05

Snogging a handsome stranger is amazing!!! It's such an exciting and exhilarating feeling! The main thing you have to do now is own it, as its the only way to shut it down. People will sense weakness. So just say, oooh yes he was gorgeous wasn't he! Or something like that.

HopesMama32 · 15/09/2023 10:13

OP it's standard to act a t*t at a wedding isn't it?? Sounds like a great night! Back into the dating world with a bang 😁

Changedmymind99 · 15/09/2023 10:15

Own it.
No one is judging you.

You have been through a lot. No one could begrudge a drunken kiss. Laugh it off. Move on. They will too.

LittleObe · 15/09/2023 10:18

Lol it's a wedding! That's what they're for! I threw up in a lake at my family members wedding and had to be carted off home!

Soonenough · 15/09/2023 10:19

Good on you girl ! Unless it was sloppy tongues groping arse snogging 😁 . You are single, presumably he is too . Sounds lovely , affectionate and hopefully an ego boost . Take the gentle slagging but don't let anyone make you feel ashamed . Hopefully this nice experience will encourage you to perhaps take steps to possibly open up to the idea of seeking a new companion or relationship.

Mama_bear · 15/09/2023 10:32

Aquamarine1029 · 14/09/2023 23:25

How exhibition-ish are we talking? Just a kiss or were your baps out?

GrinGrinGrinGrin

EarringsandLipstick · 15/09/2023 10:35

mindutopia · 15/09/2023 09:40

I can't imagine anyone even remembers it now. It's very much a non-event. Lots of people get a bit merry at weddings and do all sorts of things.

My maid of honour shagged one of dh and I's close (male) friends on the sofa at the holiday cottage that my family rented for the weekend (maid of honour was staying there). An auntie of mine (in her 60s) tossed them a condom down the stairs as it started heating up and wished them well. Everyone knew it happened but no one cared.

That's mental - and pretty gross. On a sofa? With people able to see them?

Staggersaurus · 15/09/2023 10:36

Lucky you!

Find the feel good factor in it. You are a desirable woman who had a great time at a wedding. Let this bolster your confidence and don’t let your friends ribbing bring you down. They are only commenting on it because it’s out of the ordinary behaviour, not because you made a spectacle of yourself.

Caterina99 · 15/09/2023 10:46

Good for you OP

My cousin disappeared at another cousin’s wedding. Turns out she was in the room of the handsome guy she was sat next to at the wedding meal. Guess that was a result for the “singles table” 😀

Bit awkward though when my aunt and uncle were looking for her because the taxi was there!

Gillbil · 15/09/2023 10:51

Good for you

Myfabby · 15/09/2023 10:52

EarringsandLipstick · 15/09/2023 10:35

That's mental - and pretty gross. On a sofa? With people able to see them?

Show quote history

There's always one super judgemental and rude one. What does it have to do with you? That's mental. Wow

And no, I wouldn't do that either. Just won't have my nose in the air like you have.

Pizzanight · 15/09/2023 11:02

It sounds like you had a good night OP, good for you! If your friends are happy to give you stick for it, they aren't mortified and pretending it didn't happen. I bet they're happy for you.

ColleenDonaghy · 15/09/2023 11:05

Good for you OP! And I'd take the gentle slagging as confirmation your friends are happy for you and will be supportive if you start a relationship with someone. No judgement there I'd say.