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Help me plan a challenging 7th birthday ‘party’

11 replies

Okaaaay · 14/09/2023 22:47

It’s my DD’s 7th birthday in a couple of weeks. But there is a twist - she has terrible form for coping at birthday parties - particularly hers but anyone else’s too.

She’s highly sensitive and possibly neurodivergent. She wants to do all the things with all the people, but it’s just too overwhelming for her. For her 5th birthday, at her request, we had a village hall do for 40 with friends, family and an entertainer. She was absolutely terrified the whole time and ended up hiding. This was the first party post-Covid so we had no idea she’s be like this not having been to one in 1.5 years. For her 6th we had 10 at home - again totally overwhelmed and had a tantrum. On both occasions I put so so much time and energy into the party and it was soul destroying to have got it so wrong.

This time I’ve said no party. She’s instead asked to invite 3 girls over to our house which I’ve agreed to. I’ve framed as a play date to the girl’s mums (though they know it’s her birthday). My DD does want a party vibe and games though - pass the parcel, musical statues etc. So now I’m confused - do I go full on party plan, or do I let the 4 of them just play (have a quiet disco space with lights, mics and dressing up) etc and ask if they want to play the occasional game? Perhaps ending with a film? Do I start with a craft and if so what?

Basically, how do I make this (appear) low effort and casual, but still give them a great time and hopefully not have another birthday ruined. Help!

OP posts:
Dixienormassss · 14/09/2023 22:52

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CyberCritical · 14/09/2023 23:03

A few suggestions that give a fun party feel but are pretty low key:

  • make your own pizza
  • ice cream sundae bar
  • build a bear style kits (doesn't need to be the name brand one)
  • make over activity - coloured hair spray, glitter face paint, the diamanté forehead/eyebrow thingummies
  • movie with cinema style snacks - popcorn, big cups of pop, pick n mix
  • tie dye/fabric paint - T-shirts/tote bags/baseball caps
  • karaoke (if you can stand it)
andyourpointiswhat · 14/09/2023 23:07

Craft activity with something they can take home? We have made jewellery which keeps them entertained for ages and serves as a party bag. T-shirts as suggested above would be good too.

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CyberCritical · 14/09/2023 23:12

Another couple just occurred

  • cupcake decorating or cake pops depending on how messy you think they'll be. Make up cake the day before then use premade frosting and get a range of sprinkles, edible glitter spray, sweets. You could even have them decorate the actual birthday cake.
Positive41 · 14/09/2023 23:19

Just go with the flow and don't put pressure on yourself as its been too much for her previously.

See it as a playdate as you said.

If she is ok, bring activities in and a cake etc

If the kids bring a gift, have party bags ready.

It sounds as if this will be prefect for her and not too overwhelming.

Smartiepants79 · 14/09/2023 23:21

Which bits does she actually enjoy and want?
Games with just 4 people will be a bit tricky and in my experience can definitely be a trigger point.
I would be decorating the house.
Others have already had some very good ideas.
We’ve had success with Jewellry making also. Hobby craft have a huge selection of stuff you can can for reasonable money that they can decorate and take home- bags, money boxes, photo frames, plates, name letters etc etc…
Mocktails?
Temporary tattoos and face glitter have always gone down well.

andyourpointiswhat · 14/09/2023 23:30

I just remembered another home party favourite, a balloon drop. Combine with music where they can dance around and it’s a winner. Much better with a small number too.

abyssofwoah · 14/09/2023 23:34

Good ideas upthread. A craft activity, something fun food-wise - sundae bar/cupcake decorating etc, glitter tattoos. Happy days.

TheChosenTwo · 14/09/2023 23:39

Agree with above, keep it low key, maybe get a craft activity, hama beads or paint some pottery, you know her best, just very low stakes. Not competitive, not loud, just something they can all sit down and do. Then a film and popcorn, set up an ice cream factory of sorts, different toppings etc.
Do party bags for them all so they feel like it’s been a party even though it’s a bit more scaled down.

Okaaaay · 15/09/2023 07:02

Great ideas people! So do keep it low key but have some structure. Jewellery making is a great idea - as is cupcakes etc.

Thank you so much! It sounds obvious I know but I’ve been getting it so wrong just useful to have some perspective.

OP posts:
Geneticsbunny · 15/09/2023 07:42

Would it help her to have a structure and know what is going to happen? Is there somewhere you can set up as a break out space, somewhere quiet she can go if she is feeling a bit overwhelmed? It could be a cool sensory space like a tent with things she likes in?

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