"Incidental" people you remember from childhood and sometimes wonder about...

[GiveMeOil]

By "incidental people" I mean those we knew in passing in some way rather than people who had a more central role in our lives.

Are there any of these people that you often think or wonder about?

For me, there was a girl I went to college in the early-00s with whose shoes (kitten heels or ballet pumps), belt (one of those chunky ones worn on the hip with a bit hanging down one leg), handbag (tiny shoulder bag), and eye shadow (right up to the eyebrows) were always a perfectly matching colour.
I think about her every time I'm shopping for new clothes and wonder what her style is like nowadays. I don't think I ever spoke to her and I can't remember her name.

There was also a boy who used to live up the road from me who used to lie about everything. I often wonder what he's like now and whether he grew out of the lying. I've tried finding him on social media but he had a really common name and haven't been able to do so.

A girl I saw from a coach window, we were on a school trip and she was I. Her playground. I liked her coat!

It was a child in a DD’s class, not mine. I don’t think he actually had any SEN, but he was just a little bit non-specifically odd. At 8 or so dd would insist on inviting every single child in the class to her birthday parties - she wouldn’t leave anyone out. And I’ll never forget him saying to her, ‘Thank you for inviting me to your birthday party Anna* - nobody else does.’

I often wonder about that little boy. We moved away soon afterwards so no contact since.
*not her real name.

Same. Swotty and shy.

I sometimes wonder about the lady that owned my nan's old house before she did. My nan kept in touch with her and she only moved about 5 minutes away. I meant her a couple of times in my childhood. I know children tend to think all adults are old but I think she genuinely was ancient. I sometimes think she might have been born the furthest back in time, out of everyone I've ever met.

I wish I knew more about her and what happened to her. She never had children. I wonder what her date of birth was too.

I also wonder about a little Russian girl that went to our school very briefly in the last year of primary school.

I never forgot one little boy from my primary school class. His family was clearly struggling. His DM worked, which was unusual at that time, so his older sister brought him to school. She also brought a pushchair, which she was allowed to leave at school and money, which the school secretary kept in the office for her. This was so she could do shopping for the family on the way home. The sister was no more than 11.

They emigrated to Canada in the mid 60s. Harking back to a previous post, there was no leaving party. They just went.

Some time ago I googled him (luckily the name was fairly distinctive) and found that he had done really well and was board level in one of the big accountancy firms (think PWC or similar).

That felt to me like a happy ending on at least one level.

My nan kept in touch with her and she only moved about 5 minutes away. I * met her a couple of times in my childhood.

Sad to think of all those neglected kids who flew under the radar (and still do!).

I was definitely seen as a weirdo from secondary school to early adulthood. Terrible social skills and undiagnosed ND. I wonder if anyone remembers me and thinks "what an oddball" 😆

I constantly think about random people I've met, or went to school with, or worked with, hundreds of them! They'll pop into my head randomly all the time. I always felt like it was only me who wondered about random incidental people, so thanks to OP for starting this thread! Glad it's not just me!

One that springs to mind is from when I went on holiday with my grandparents at age 7 or 8. The hotel owner's daughter was my age and we played together all week, she'd take me behind the bar and we'd pinch those little cocktail umbrellas to play with. I've often remembered her out of the blue! 🍹

Twin boys I met at a camp site in France. I was about 10 and they were about 4.
Matthew and Martin. One wore glasses.
They were a British but I can’t remember where from. I’d love to know how their lives turned out.

Back in the mid 60’s when I was in primary school our class sizes were about 40 children and 1 teacher. I can vividly remember a girl called Esme who only ever did “ jobs” not “ work”. Like filling up the ink wells, giving out stuff, sharpening pencils etc. She didn’t really say anything and was a very lonely figure, she “ looked different” in a way we didn’t understand as children. Not in a horrid way way at all, she was just Esme the quiet girl who doesn’t have to do any school work.
As an adult I look back and now realise that Esme had Downs Syndrome and obviously received no special assistance in the primary years and probably never. Absolutely no special educational support in those days unless you were very very disabled.
I often wonder what became of her, she would be 66 now.

Three brothers I went to primary school with, barely spoke to any of them but I had a huge crush on the eldest, planned the wedding and everything. I was DEVASTATED when (aged about 9) the family moved away and he didn't ask for my address to send letters

I had a friend until I was 18. He lived next door to my aunt and uncle, so if we went to visit I’d play with him. We went to the park and played games together. As we got older we were allowed to go further afield, so we’d go swimming or to the cinema while my parents spent the day with my aunt and uncle. I remember one day we got our hands on a bottle of pink Lambrini and we giggled and drank it, then got soaked in the rain because we didn’t dare go home drunk. Fun times!

At 18 he got his first girlfriend who was very possessive and banned him from being my friend. She was so possessive that she eventually managed to stop him seeing his parents and little sister too. I know he married her but I don’t know anything else about his life. He isn’t on social media as far as I can tell. I sometimes think about him and wonder how his life turned out. I can’t imagine it’s been filled with joy given that his wife is super possessive and he’s estranged from his family. I would love to catch up with him and give him a hug because I’ve missed my friend, but that will never happen.

This is such an interesting thread! Imagine if someone found who they'd been looking for!

Mine are Jordan, a boy I met on holiday in Majorca. He lived there, but his dad was English. He spent hours and hours at the beach during the summer but I never saw his parents. He was probably 12 at the time.

Another are a couple called Dave and Siobhan. He was from South Africa and she was from Zimbabwe possibly? But they lived in the UK. We met them on a boat tour in Vietnam (Ha Long Bay) and had a fantastic time with them! I don't know their surname though so can't search for them.

I have an old Spanish teacher who I can't remember for the life of me what her name was. She was Irish, quite young and apparently engaged to a successful boxer. She had a baby and then left to go back to Ireland.

And another teacher, my politics teacher, but I can't remember her first name and can't find her on Facebook or (god forbid) in obituaries. I think of her often - she was right about a lot more than I gave her credit for!

I went to a posh girls school and one girl, Marianne left abruptly one end of term and stole my tuck box (which I left at school during the holidays)

As a teen, I met a boy at a party just the once (friend of a friend of a friend sort of thing). He was undergoing treatment for cancer at the time and I often wonder if he survived.

There was a girl called Deborah who joined my primary school briefly, she had two younger siblings a boy and a girl, possibly twins. The boy had a speech impediment. They lived in a very big rambling house and I went for tea. They only stayed in the area briefly, I wonder what their story was.

I had a pen pal from America when I was in primary 6. It was arranged through the school as our topic at the time was USA so they arranged for us to have penpals with students from a school in a town with the same name as our town. My pen pal also had the same name as me. From what I remember we only shared about 3 letters but I can still vaguely remember a photo she sent of herself with her violin. I also remember her letters having colourful drawings. I actually thought about her a few weeks ago as it was around 9/11 we started writing to each other and I remember her writing to me about it and how upset and distressed she was. I was only about 10 years old and remember not really understanding why she was so affected by it! It's only now I'm older I realise. We never kept contact but I often think about her and wonder what her life is like. I actually had 2 penpals at that time but I don't remember much about the other one except from receiving a letter from him saying how upset and embarrassed he was that he didn't get a letter back from me .

I wrote remember far too many times 😂

Debbie, my classmate for a few years at junior school, great fun, and her widowed mother remarried and the family moved to Anglesey. Found her on Facebook last year and sent a friend request, with a message stating what my maiden name was, and that we had been friends at school. She blocked me and i'm devastated as to why.

Isn't it weird to think you yourself may be one of these incidental people? A bit part in someone else's life?

I find it bizarre that I probably am.

I was a very neglected and abused child. Was always hungry. Never filthy but always unkempt. My father was notorious for fights in the local pub. My siblings and I always had an injury between us.

It escalated and escalated and then when I was 7 I told my teacher that my father had burned my brother with the iron and the smell was horrible. The matter of fact way I said it spurred my teacher and head teacher to bypass social services (they’d been involved numerous times) and call my grandparents.

Basically they collected us all and dared by parents to go to the police or court to try and get us back.

To the kids in my class I was collected by my Nana just after lunch one day and never ever came back. I changed my (very unusual) first name in my teens so there’s no tracking me easily.

I was friendly with a girl in my class at secondary in the 90s We chatted in class and met up a couple of times outside of school. We weren’t besties but she was a lovely lassie.

I tried to find her on friends reunited, MySpace, bebo and then Facebook and LinkedIn but never found her.

last year I bumped into a girl on holiday who was close to her at school. I asked how C was getting on. She went pale, and said “oh no, you don’t know”.

C was murdered at the hands of her boyfriend in her early 20s. She was the most gentle girl. Heartbroken for her

@GrandTheftWalrus

Just to say you could go on the Craicnet section of MN and mention Kristen from Co.Cavan, it's a small county and not a common name, someone might know her.

There was a boy who came to our school in the NW of England who was from Australia and whose mum was aboriginal. I think they owned a bakery. I was friends with him and have wondered from time to time about his life now. I think the family had experienced racism in Australia.

Robyn that I met in a caravan park in Cornwall. We wrote to each other a couple of times after the holiday but lost touch.

I had the best holiday ever. My siblings played with her siblings. It was a brilliant time.

@Atethehalloweenchocs I knew a guy like that. I even went on a date with him but we didn't really click in that way. He's now married to the love of his life, successful children, good job, beautiful house etc. just like you'd expect really.