Overnight personality change - anxiety in 6yo

[Bartlebum]

Over the summer my daughter appeared to develop sudden and extreme anxiety, to the point that she has returned to school a different person - the teachers, head, and club leads - everyone that knows her - have highlighted concerns.

She also keeps needing the toilet and seems anxious to go to the toilet all the time. She says it hurts. She says her head, her stomach, and her legs hurt all the time. I cannot get her to go to sleep at night, she just won't go down and can easily stay up until 9.30 - 10 arguing about bedtime, and having major uncontrollable meltdowns. She is the most sensitive and compassionate person I know, but she is also laughing at strange times, like if her baby sister hurts herself she laughs, when previously she would have comforted her. She doesn't want to go to school, clubs, rainbows - all the things she previously loved - she says she doesn't want to be away from home.

I have tried to get help for her, I have gone to the doctors who checked her for a UTI and they couldn't find signs - but gave her antibiotics just in case. They gave me guidance on anxiety, so I do the journalling, the gratitude stuff, talking it through with her, breathing exercises and mindfulness - everything they advised - but she is relentless and the anxiety seems so severe - I can't talk her out of it or reason with her. I have requested counselling through the school which they are sorting for her, but there is no triggering event we can pinpoint - and neither can she - although I appreciate she might find that difficult at such a young age.

The school head wants me to go back to the doctor, but I have called them and they said that it's not urgent, so they can't see her for another week due to being short-staffed. I think they think I am wasting their time - but with the amount of comments I have had I know it's not me being overprotective.

I wondered if anyone here had any experience of a sudden change in personality in their little ones, and what you did to help. I feel very scared right now like I don't recognise her and I want to help her get back to normal so she is happy again. I feel powerless to help because it doesn't seem to be a physical issue, I can't get treatment for her.

Any support would be appreciated.

The sudden onset is a give away and not all symptoms of PANS/PANDAS will necessarily be present. Any illness circulating in the house or at school? Vaccinations? Have a good read around this and mention to your GP. The US is much more clued up on this condition but sadly the UK is lagging behind. If there is a GP at your surgery that is clued up on ENT as a speciality, ask to see them. X

Gosh this happened to us with our daughter, just after her 8th birthday. It was an instant personality change. Her teacher spoke to me after school one day, saying what on earth has happened. She was terrified, anxious, unsettled, panic attacks with thrashing on sofa, pain in stomach all the time, difficulty sleeping. We were beside ourselves trying to work out what caused it and find solutions.

We never did find a cause, but I suspect it was combination of friend dramas in playground, being spooked by a scary film she watched, and hormones.

We were recommended this book by a friend and my god it was amazing! You read it with your child and it gives coping mechanisms etc. Honestly it's the best money I will ever spend! The idea is that it teaches the child to compartmentalise worries until a specific 15min window each night with a parent. They lock worries in a box in their head until they're allowed to discuss them, and they learn how to fight the worries off. It's so clever. We still do our 15min chat every night but she no longer has worries in her box, so we chat about her day instead. Honestly if I could meet the author I'd break down in tears, it literally saved us. Her episode lasted 4 weeks and then she returned to her normal self. I think she'll always be a worrier, but she now has the tools to cope and lead a normal life. I wish you all the luck in the world.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/What-When-Worry-Much-What/dp/1591473144?ref=d6k_applink_bb_dls&dplnkId=9111ebe4-ca7b-4272-b9c0-2142916a47c0

Has she spent time alone with anyone else? A sudden change like this could be an indicator of abuse. There are obviously lots of other possible causes too, I don't want to worry you, but it's worth being aware of.

This happened to ds2 when he was 7, just overnight, catastrophising, having panic attacks and really anxious about dying. It seemed to have been triggered by a ww2 documentary on the seige of Malta of all things.

I also bought What to do when you worry too much and did find the strategies very helpful. I wish I could say that it passed quickly but we had years of therapy on and off for ds.

It seems to be cyclical for him, definitely ramping up at the start of every school year, and hugely reduced by summer time. The good news is that he's now 19 at his 2nd year in Uni and seems to be coping better with it. In fact he seems to be living his best life which is great to see.

I read somewhere that children develop an awareness of death, and what that actually means, around the age of 7 which is what I attributed it to and that anxiety unfortunately runs in my family.

Has she got restless leg syndrome maybe?

And also to add, ds2 has OCD type thinking ( I am a MH nurse) which has contributed to his difficulties but it has been mostly manageable particularly now as he's got older.

That what I was wondering too, but I didn't want to say it.

@Scottishgirl85 thank you so much, I have bought this book.

Sone of these symptoms sound very similar to what my DS1 started around 6. Panic, anxiety, uncomfortable with clothes, difficulty sleeping, stomach ache, head ache and what eventually became outright school refusal. For him it seemed to start after a bad bout of food poisoning and subsequent stomach trouble for months. Some symptoms did continue but we experimented with his diet and taking him off gluten seemed to help. Apparently gluten intolerance symptoms can included stomach ache, headache, limb aches and also anxiety. He attended school in a patchy way and after lockdown, which he loved, was able to return to school full time for year 4. Sadly after a year and a half his physical and mental health struggles came back with a vengeance. Counselling really helped this time as did limiting gluten. At the moment he’s doing really really well and seems to have good physical and mental health. We had every single test and conventional and non-conventional guesses going and still never got to the bottom of it.

Had she been unwell with a virus previously? There's something called (I think) PANDAS which is worth looking into.

Sorry I see that's been suggested, I should have read the full thread

Thank you for the recommendation I've also just bought it as I too have an anxious 6 year old.

Definitely sounds like PANS/PANDAS. My daughter has this, she caught covid september 21 and it caused an infection in her brain. I had a thread here at the time. She ended up on a ventilator in intensive care. She couldn't walk or eat. Two years down the line she uses a wheelchair fulltime, restricts her eating, has ocd, ME, ptsd. The list could go on, there is a good facebook group.

This happened to both my son and my daughter, and both times it was triggered by an event they found traumatic. For my son it was something that happened at a club, for my daughter it was catching a sickness bug. Both things they experienced were relatively minor, but for them they were huge. Just mentioning it because if you're looking for a trigger it might not be what you're expecting.

@Nix32 That's interesting, DD was most definitely very upset about something the first time it happened (she wasn't allowed to go to an event DH and DS were attending), but I thought it was too minor a thing to cause such an extreme reaction.

@Nix32 thanks! That's interesting to know, yesterday she said she was worried that if she went to school all the family would go on holiday and leave her behind which we thought was a strange anxiety. I remembered that I went away for three nights at the start of the summer holidays. It didn't seem like a massive deal to us as she was well looked after by my husband and sisters so had more attention that normal, but it's occurred to us that this could also be a trigger.

She has had her first counselling session today and enjoyed it. I will follow up the PANDAS query next week.

Good luck. Reading the post also made me think OCD or obsessive thoughts as they manifest in children, but I'd believe the bodily and gut pain as not just an adjunct of this. If you are in pain then mindfulness can't be a quick fix. Maybe a nasty imbalance of enzymes or some reaction to a food/chemical suddenly setting it all off?

This is unlikely given the length of time she's had the symptoms but have they tested her urine for ketones? Personality change is one of the symptoms as is needing the toilet a lot, though usually driven by thirst. May be good to rule out.

Sorry, I mean to test for Diabetes.

Hi @Bartlebum , I am experiencing a similar situation and I was wondering if you have an updates / positive outcomes from anything you tried?

Hey @l2222 she has had a term of weekly counselling with the school counsellor and also some extra counselling with a grief counsellor due to her grandmother dying in October.

We had blood tests for her and they did reveal a strep infection so she was given antibiotics to treat it. She also had some strange protein indicators so we had to have follow up tests in December but since we have had no call from that so I assume all better.

Her behaviour has gradually improved, she definitely has anxiety which was probably triggered by something that seemed trivial to us. She practices her coping mechanisms and is getting better at going to school. The last day of term she ran in on her own which was the first time we hadn't had to guide her over and convince her to go in. She stopped all extra clubs last term but wants to try again this month so I am hopeful.

It's hard being a kid and dealing with bug things like grandparents dying or parents going away for a weekend. They have so little control! I have been a lot more mindful of her feelings since all this happened and we have a stronger bond than ever.

I hope your child gets some help and starts to feel better soon. Definitely get that worrying book from Amazon further up, I think you can download it for free somehow as I didn't pay for it.

I would think she's felt anxious for a long time but possibly been masking/hiding it and now it's brimming over. This is obviously just the opinion of someone on the Internet so take with a grain of salt.

What has changed since summer?

Thank you for the update @Bartlebum , glad to hear things are looking better for you. I hear you on the anxiety point- I’m naturally very positive / optimistic but I can see how that’s not always helpful with kids as the smaller things that cause them genuine anxiety can be seen as insignificant. I ordered that book yesterday as a first step 👍

ND girls are often mis diagnosed with anxiety initially. It is frequently the first obvious symptom.

Look at the list on here.

https://autisticgirlsnetwork.org/keeping-it-all-inside.pdf